I chuckle as I let my hands roam up and down his torso, mapping out the contours of his body, so unlike anything I’m used to. No defined dip of a feminine waist or flare of a hip, no breasts to knead and tease. I thumb his right nipple, laughing silently when he arches his back in his sleep and thrusts his chest into my hand.
When my cock jerks against the pressure of his ass, I’m reminded of last night. I’m not unhappy or confused or nervous. I think for the first time with a partner, I felt comfortable. I wasn’t driven mad by lust or general horniness; I was driven by something so much more potent. I’ve never been in love before, which is crazy at 43 years old. But it’s true. I’ve felt genuine affection for partners, but never anything this intense and all-consuming. And the weirdest part…until yesterday I didn’t know that’s how I felt.
The only thing marring yesterday from being one of the best of my life is Heacock, except he’s the damn catalyst for the bone-deep satisfaction I feel right now. I’d like to think I’d have come to my senses eventually and told Oscar what I was coming to feel for him, but the fear of yesterday provided clarity in a way that propelled me into the unknown without an ounce of hesitation. Heacock started spewing his vitriol and my control snapped, the tether I had on my feelings broke in spectacular fashion. All I could think about was protecting and defending Oscar. I forced myself to go through practice, letting the grueling heat and repetition calm my frayed nerves enough to leave Oscar alone. But when I went to find him after, ready to head to our normal dinner, I couldn’t find him and panic flooded my veins and chilled my heart.
I felt pure relief and a surge of arousal so sharp it pained me when I finally found him at his home. There was no chance I’d ever expect Oscar to drop to his knees and suck me off so spectacularly, and I didn’t know I’d be mauling his mouth and giving him a hand job just moments later. The absolute bliss that washed over me when he came was soul deep and I relished the sensations flooding my system.
We got takeout and ate dinner together while we watched a movie, I didn’t know what to do, how to navigate this suddenand intense change in our dynamic and I followed his lead, keeping a few feet between us on the couch. I realized my mistake when I caught Oscar staring at me several times, but it was the despair and uncertainty in his eyes that last time that urged me to move. I turned off the television, stood, grabbed his hand and led him through his own apartment to his bedroom.
I pushed him toward his bathroom and told him to get ready for bed. I ran out to my car, got my gym bag and brought it back in, then locked up and made sure everything was off for the night, before walking back into his bedroom. For all his confidence, he looked like a lost puppy as he sat on the edge of his bed in only his boxer briefs. As I passed him on my way into the bathroom, I cupped his jaw and stole a kiss from his lips, laughing as I shut the door because of his deer-in-headlights expression.
He laid down on his back, pulling the covers up to his chin. I shook my head affectionately and climbed into bed next to him, clad only in my boxers as well. I manhandled him onto his side, then spooned behind him and snuggled up to him and I must have promptly fallen asleep. If it had felt wrong, if I was uneasy or uncomfortable in any way, I would have been up half the night, my thoughts consuming me. Instead, as I lay here the following morning, I can honestly say my sleep was peaceful, natural, and necessary. Being with Oscar has always been easy, but I thought I’d have some qualms about the change in our relationship, the physicality I’ve never shared with another man, but the transition was seamless. Like my body knew the inevitability before my brain caught up. Now, mind and body are in sync, and my cock is leading the charge.
But…
I don’t know what to do now. I’ve never dated a man before. Was anything different? Besides anal sex, of course. Do I buy him flowers or chocolate, or do I get him a power tool or screwdriverset instead? Do I send him cutesy messages throughout the day or continue my poignant memes of puns and dad jokes?
Oscar lets out an adorable snort in his sleep and I feel the moment he wakes up. He turns sleepily in my arms, presses a kiss to the underside of my jaw. That simple gesture lights me the fuck up. I wrap my arms around his back and roll us together to my back. He squeaks and wakes up fully, hands on my chest as he sits up, straddling my hips and teasing my hungry cock.
I grin up at him. “Morning.”
“Uh…morning?”
“I don’t know what to do.” I tell him honestly. I want so much with him but I’m a little unsure of the protocol and logistics. I’m a quick study; I just need a little nudge in the right direction.
His face falls for a moment, before he offers me an understanding closed smile, his eyes sad. What happened? “Oh, ok. Well, I know what happened yesterday is probably confusing—”
“Yes, it is, but I’m not worried about that.” I wave off his concerns, realizing he’s misinterpreted my meaning. “I don’t know what to do now,” I motion between us. “What else do two men do together besides blow jobs and hand jobs?”
Oscar’s eyes brighten, his forlorn expression clearing into something akin to absolute joy and I feel like my heart swells as well as my cock. “Oh! You want to?”
I thrust up, my erection brushing his, pulling a needy moan from both of us at the friction. “Yes, I want,” I tell him, just in case my intentions were unclear.
“Then welcome to Frottage 101.” I laugh while Oscar shimmies backward, pulling my underwear with him as he goes, removing them completely, then his own. He crawls back up my nakedbody, his eyes running over every inch of exposed muscle and skin. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Like a sculpted work of art.” I hum absently, too busy marveling at every freckle and his epic farmer’s tan from band camp. I don’t know what it is, but it’s sexy as hell. And that swinging dick between his legs is nothing short of distracting. My hips move involuntarily, needing to feel him against me, skin to skin.
He positions himself with his legs spread open across my upper thighs. He bends down, licking a stripe up my stomach, tracing the ridges of my abs with his tongue, until he finds my nipple and lightly sucks it.
“Oscar!” My cock jerks in response. He chuckles darkly, a sinister twist to his lips when he sits upright once more.
“Just wait.” He lazily strokes his dick, teasing me with a smirk. Arching his back and leaning into the pleasure as he takes himself in hand. A sensuality I’ve never witnessed in any woman I’ve been with. Precum oozes from his ruddy tip and he uses it to ease his strokes. My own spits in anticipation. I’m unprepared when he lines up our erections, wraps his fist around both and squeezes them together.
“FUCK!”
I cover his hand with mine and we begin to move together. I’m trusting my instincts, giving my body permission to move however it wants. He rocks on top of me, giving me an erotic preview of what it will be like when he rides my cock as it fills his hole completely. His grip clenches tighter and I start fucking up into his hold. His rhythm stutters, a gorgeous flush suffusing his skin as it travels from his chest to his face. His eyes roll back, his head drops, his stomach ripples, and he keens as cum shoots from his tip. One hand on his hip, I hold him in place as my strokes grow faster and tighter and erratic. On the verge ofsomething too intense for words, Oscar moves quickly, pulling his dick out of my hand, pushing my hand to the side, and swallowing me to the fucking root. I unload into his waiting and welcoming throat, moaning so loud I’m sure his neighbors can hear. Replete, I close my eyes, lay back down, feeling boneless and sated with a dopey smile on my face.
I startle when I feel his lips on mine, but quickly return the kiss with enthusiasm, my arms around his damp back. He lays on top of me and I love the weight of him. After a few minutes, we separate and decide to shower and get ready for the day. We brush our teeth side-by-side, and I smile the entire time. He rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling too. In the shower, we wash each other, but it’s not sexual, per se. It’s…I don’t know how to describe it. Freeing, maybe? To just exist with someone and be enough for them. I shake my head to rid myself of my wayward thoughts.
I know we need to talk, need to discuss what’s happening between us. And we will, but right now, I don’t want anything heavy. Yesterday with Heacock was stressful for both of us and I want to give us a break. We’ll be adults later.
“I need coffee. You kept me up late,” I tease.
“We were in bed by 10.”
“Yes. But I had a hard time sleeping,” I lie, knowing it was the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had. “Did you know you snore?”
He gasps, his eyes blazing, “I do not!”
“You do. It’s adorable. But loud.” I only know he snores because I woke up before him, but he doesn’t know that.
