Lyndell blinks owlishly, his brows rising in mock offense. “I would never do anything like that.”
Brandon 3.
I inhale through my mouth and exhale through my nose, trying to dispel the funny feeling in my stomach. Like I’m on a rollercoaster after eating too much. I glance at the Chinese food take out containers and our empty plates, knowing I didn’t eat more than I usually do, but still…the food sits heavy in my gut.
My eyes drift again to Oscar at the end of my couch. He shifts, his own eyes glued to my large television as a new action-comedy movie plays. What’s it called? Don’t know. Who’s starring in it? Couldn’t tell ya. How long has it been on? Haven’t a clue. My entire focus on the lead ball sitting just below my ribs and the enigmatic man a couple feet away.
He suddenly laughs, his entire body shaking from the effort. I like his laugh. Hearty and honest. I’ve seen him in enough professional settings over the last year to know that the one he shares with me, Jenna, and Lilly, is natural. Uninhibited.
And I’ve heard it a lot over the last few weeks. He and I get dinner a few nights a week and on a couple occasions Lilly and Jenna joined us. I enjoyed those nights, but if I’m honest with myself, I prefer the nights when it’s just the two of us. Like tonight.
I have other friends, Brody in security, for example, but I’ve been putting them off in favor of my dinners with Oscar. We text all the time, a constant stream of memes and anecdotes of ourdays. It’s weird, though, I never look forward to hearing from any of my other friends like I do with Oscar. And I’ve certainly never watched one of them as closely as I do the man currently occupying my chaise lounge. I’ve never wanted them in my space like this.
Last week, Oscar had to cancel because something came up with his parents. And I was disappointed. Why? It was no big deal, things happen. But I felt…adrift the entire evening, choosing to spend it alone at my place rather than finding another friend to meet up with. The elation I experienced when he texted early the next morning to apologize and suggest dinner that evening took me by surprise. Except, I felt better once I saw him. As I listened to him explain that his parents had called him to ask for his support of a lovely young man they’d never met in person who had befriended them on Facebook and was in dire need of money. He was so animated in his retelling, I laughed hysterically as I hung on every word.
Part of me is afraid to look too closely at the slight obsession I’ve developed. I’m in my forties, for fuck’s sake. How could I be just now having these…feelingsfor another man when I’ve never had them before? The other part of me is staring at his mouth wondering what his lips might feel like pressed against my own. My cock is fully on board with that investigative line of inquiry, but my brain is buffering like an overworked computer.
Oscar turns to look at me, his eyes bright, before he rolls them with a smirk. “You still upset you lost?” Not sure I’m ready for more, I frown as I narrow my eyes playfully.
“It’s my favorite spot and you stole it.”
He laughs again, and I swear to God, it’s like the sound has burrowed under my skin. “I won it fair and square.”
“You cheated.” I argue, loving how he shifts on the chaise until his body squares off with mine, the distance between us feeling charged and electric.
“How did I cheat at rock, paper, scissors?” He shakes his hand and waves off whatever ridiculous response is on the tip of my tongue. “Besides, I only played that because I beat you at pool.”
I grunt, crossing my arms over my chest and pouting like a child. “You cheated at that too.”
“Oh my God!” he says exasperatedly before beginning to cackle at me.
“You know what? You’ve sat there long enough.” My whole body tingles in anticipation, my muscles coiling as a thought runs through my mind. Before he can react, I stand quickly and practically fall backward on top of him. I wiggle around pretending to get comfortable, all the while, his firm body vibrates beneath me as he laughs so hard, he’s wheezing. I’m grinning like an idiot, but I can’t seem to care. My cock and my heart like how close we are now. And my brain…
Something clicks, the feeling of rightness settling the tornado of questions and concerns that have been whirling around inside my head for more than a few days, leaving a single word echoing; Mine. I relax as his hands flounder before finally resting on my hips. I let out a contented sigh, his warm breath tickling the back of my neck.
Snorting, I ask, “Is that your dick or are you just happy to see me?”
“That’s not how the saying goes!” His voice is high pitched, the strain evident in the tone. “And I can’t help it. I’m gay, remember? And you have an unfairly nice ass.”
I have no idea what the future holds, no clue how to navigate what I want with Oscar. But I know that together is exactly where we belong.
Oscar 4.
You know when something is very clearly happening, but you are too scared to give into it because it could just be an illusion or mirage or a melatonin hallucination?
The last few weeks of my life have been exhilarating, leaving me confused and horny. When I force myself to stop overthinking, I’m pretty sure Brandon and I are dating. However, that is absurd, and I’m obviously experiencing a psychotic break and should seek medical attention quickly. But…if that is truly what’s happening, I’d rather just go fucking nuts and savor my time with Brandon before I’m drugged up and put in a padded room.
We workout together in the mornings, eat dinner together several nights a week, hang out on the weekends, and we are in constant communication via text message and stupid memes. And I’m not going to lie; this is probably one of the healthiest relationships I’ve ever had and he’s not even gay, nor have either of us acknowledged said relationship. How does that even happen?
“Dude, we are NOT getting Greek again!”
My bottom lip sticks out and I blink up at him with big, innocent eyes. He just laughs and finishes getting dressed. We finished our workout and then came back to shower. I made up an excuse about needing to respond to an email and waved him to shower, then I got mine when he was done. The other night when hesat on me and then stayed there for the remainder of the movie, commented on my erection, both of us ignoring his…it feels different. I want to see him naked and wet and soapy, but I fear I might lose control and jump him, and the locker room shower at our place of employment is not the place to do that. He didn’t argue though, today or yesterday, so I know he understands and probably feels the same.
Of course, I could still be hallucinating.
“It was really good! You liked it!” I argue, earning a shake of his head.
“It was. I did. However,” he draws out the word and I grin up at him from my seat on the bench. “You were apparently impregnated by some alien creature, and its baby was making a valiant effort to escape the confines of your inhospitable body!” I gasp in outrage, my eyes widening that he would call me out like this. “Through your anus!”
