“Unlike you, I ain’t dumb.” Shaking her head as if I’m a disappointment to her, she pins me with a hard stare. “I’m gonna guess, you took these tragic events, spun it to be your fault, and put distance between you and the man you love. Whatyou should be doing is using this as a reminder that when you find someone like Oscar, you fight tooth and nail to keep him. Because I guarantee that’s what Prib and Phia are doing, they aren’t running scared, they’re fighting. You don’t wallow in self-pity. You wanna be pusillanimous, then you don’t deserve that man.”
“Pusill—what?”
Rolling her eyes, she grabs a beer, cracks it open and takes a large sip. “To be a coward, it’s where the phrase, ‘Don’t be a pussy’ comes from.”
“Oh. I thought it was, you know, the vagina.”
“Common misconception. Mainly because men are afraid of the vagina and its strength. And have adopted the phrase to imply that women are lesser, fragile creatures. You ever seen a man with kidney stones?” I nod, wincing when I remember when my dad had them years ago. “Ain’t nothing to having your vagina stretched to over 13 inches on average to push a motherfucking human they grew inside their bodies while still taking care of the punk ass father who put it there.”
“Jenna?” I’m surprised by the vehemence of her very specific statement. She does not have any children and has never been married.
“Sorry. Not a fan of my dad. And a little terrified for if/when I have my own children because big heads run in our family.”
With a soft smile, I pull her against my chest and rest my cheek on the top of her head. “I can just picture you running around with a big ol’ head, having trouble staying balanced from being top heavy.” I muse, “Your brain is an interesting place.”
“It is. I’m awesome. Superb. Everyone knows that. Now, what are you gonna do?”
It isn’t too late. I fucked up, but not enough to lose him. Oscar is the best person I know and understanding, forgiving, and beautiful. Won’t hurt to grovel though. “I’m gonna text Oscar that I’m safe, I’m incredibly, deeply sorry, and that you and I will meet him for breakfast in the morning.” Shifting, I pull my phone out of my back pocket and pull up my text thread with him. “And then I’m gonna hang out with one of my best friends. We’re gonna console each other and lament the shitty nature of human beings. And drink…copious amounts of alcohol.”
She pats my chest, looking up at me with a smirk. “Now that we have dick in common, I’ll even let you braid my hair while we debate the pros and cons of girth and length.”
Oscar 12.
I smile at Brandon when he brings our joined hands to his lips and kisses my knuckles. He’s been over affectionate since we met up for breakfast Sunday morning with Jenna. It’s been a few days, but it’s easy to tell he still feels guilty for trying to break up with me. I understood where he was coming from. Fear is a dangerous place to live. It sucked, don’t get me wrong, but I know he didn’t do it maliciously, in his own way he was trying to protect me. However, just like I told him, the only way to truly protect one another is to fight together, lean on one another, depend on and trust your partner to always have your back. And front, if you’re in the mood.
He’s sucked me and fucked me and rimmed me and loved me. He’s quite adept at apologies.
“Thank you for coming with me today.” I squeeze his hand in support, knowing today is hard for him.
“Always. But I’ll remind you that Phia and Prib do not blame you at all, no one does, and they will be happy to see you.” We’re heading out to Crue Pribula’s family farm where Phia is convalescing after her attack. She’s doing quite well and aside from some residual symptoms which should resolve in the next few weeks, she’s just happy to be alive.
“I know.” He smiles at me when I snort. “I know.I think I just need to see her with my own two eyes.”
“I get it.” We finish the drive in companionable silence. “Wow.” The Pribula farm is gorgeous, picturesque, and expansive.
“Yeah. I’ve been out here a couple times over the years. Once you meet his parents, you’ll see why Abbott wants to partner with them for his food company. Prib’s one of those…once-in-a-lifetime players and human beings.” Brandon swallows hard, his eyes a little glassy. “He restores your faith in humanity.”
“So do you.”
“Nah! No, I’m nothing like Prib. Or Tyrone Wicawiil. Those two especially, and Lyndell, of course, are something else.” I won’t argue, because I know that it’s always hardest to see ourselves through someone else’s eyes, but Brandon Beiler is a once-in-a-lifetime human being too. And I’m blessed and grateful to call him mine.
When we arrive, I greet Phia and Crue, then leave Brandon alone with them to talk while I join their parents in the big country kitchen. Before long, we’re laughing, and trading stories, and then they take me on a tour of the farm, and I get to meet and spend time with some of the animals. Cows are a lot bigger than you think.
We’re invited for dinner, but I politely decline, seeing how worn-out Phia and Brandon are. Knowing him, he put himself through the emotional wringer today, same as he has for the last several days. As we’re saying our goodbyes, Brandon gets a call. He stares at the screen like a snake’s gonna jump out and bite him, before excusing himself to answer it down the hall. When he comes back a few minutes later, he’s white as a ghost.
“Brandon, what’s wrong? Are you ok?”
“Beiler?” Prib and I try to get his attention, but he’s completely zoned out. Prib claps in his face, and it startles him back to the present.
“Sorry. It’s just…that was…I’ve been named the Interim Head Coach for the football team.”
“That’s great!” I enthuse, though I’m not sure if Brandon feels the same.
“Ok? What else?” Prib asks.
“What do you mean, ‘what else’?” Brandon smacks Prib’s shoulder. “I’m the Interim Head Coach.”
“You’re surprised?” Prib starts laughing so hard he has to lean against the wall. “Such a cute, little naïve head coach.” Prib tries to pinch Brandon’s cheeks, but Brandon smacks him away.
