“Gladly. And Nell can help. I may be the theatre kid but we all know that Nell also has a flair for the dramatic.”
“I think we all do,” Casper says. “That’s why we work.”
“That and we’re all queer as fuck,” Nell offers.
“Ugh, look at that,” says Vivvie, pointing at the sun setting over the town below.
“It’s giving lesbian pride,” Casper says, clearly noting the impressive range of pinks and oranges. “The sky’s an ally, Saff. Do you feel supported?”
“Honestly?” I say, laughing. “I do. I’m so glad that the universe approves of me and is happy I’m here.”
“It’s definitely happy you’re here. And so am I,” Nell says, and even if it wasn’t the day with the most sun in it, I still don’t think things could feel any brighter than they do in this moment.
I know that darker days are coming. Like, literally tomorrow. But I also know that I’ve never been in a better place to deal with them than I am right now.
I have Nell and our wonderful friends. I have plans to look forward to. I have my therapy and my meds.
None of it cures me. But all of it helps.
The sun is shining today but winter is still going to come and bring much harder times with it. But this time, I’m going to try to open my arms to the darkness like an old friend, knowing that it’s just a passing visitor.
Yes, I think, looking around at the people I love and who love me in return.
Nell smiles at me and it’s almost too much – it still knocks me back with the force of it, how acutely she sees me, how acutely sheloves me. “You’re quiet. You OK?”
I lean forward to brush a kiss against her cheek. “I am.”
Huh.
The thought fills me up:
I really think I mean it.
