"Wrong? Why I declare, I don't know yourmeaning. You sound exactly like one of these English!"
"Slavery was wrong, Jennifer, and you mustn'ttry to defend it. You certainly won't make friends with the Englishif you do defend it."
"So I'm learning. Why, I can have a manpractically eating out of my hand, when all of a sudden theconversation touches on the South, and right out of the blue theystart stiffening up and running on about principles and freedomsand constitutions and civil rights until I could scream!"
"Jenny, you know how to mask all youropinions while leading a man down the bridal path," quippedAmanda.
"Is that how you handle Philip? He has eyesfor none but you. I think you have designs on becoming a Lady."
Amanda threw back her head and laughed.
"Why are you laughing?"
"Because I've always been a lady." Amanda'seyes twinkled.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Young Nicholas was now speaking in fullsentences. Amanda smiled as she listened to the clipped accent thathad started to creep into his words. They'd been out for a ride andthe moment they returned to the stables, Nicholas had spotted oneof Philip's hounds and gone chasing after it.
Philip helped Mandy dismount. As his eyes methers, he could not keep his feelings hidden longer. "Amanda, you'dmake me happy if you'd be my wife. You know how I feel about you--how I've always felt about you."
"Philip... I... don't know what to say."
"Say yes, love. Amanda I know how you feltabout Nicholas, I would have been blind not to have seen how deeplyyou loved him. I'm sure that in time you could come to care for me,if you'd only let yourself feel again. You're whole life is aheadof you. Share it with me?"
She opened her mouth to speak, but he put hisfinger to her lips. "No, don't answer me yet. Please think aboutit. If you'll marry me, I promise to make Nicholas my heir, then ina way it will make up for what should have rightfully been hisfather's."
Tears came to her eyes at Philip'sgenerosity. She did not love him as she had loved Nicholas, norwould she ever, yet she was extremely fond of him. "I promise tothink about it Philip. I know you would be a good father and aloving husband."
"That's all I ask." When she smiled at him,he felt his heart melt.
As promised, Amanda did think about it.Philip had asked her to be Lady Peacock, which if anythingfrightened her a little. She was not ambitious, at least not forherself, but once a woman who had been brought up with luxuries wasreduced to abject poverty, it made her long for security.
Amanda had watched her child almost starve,forced to exist on dried peas, while the other half of the worldindulged itself with champagne and caviar.
Slowly but surely she began to see thatmarriage to Philip would benefit her son, and her son was herreason for living. Yet she shrank from the thought of marryingPhilip for his money. If she agreed to marry him, she would have togive as well as take, or she would never be able to live withherself.
Amanda delayed her decision as if she werewaiting for something. What it was, she couldn't name.The endof the war perhaps, yet that will change nothing. Perhaps ifJennifer would make plans to marry?Yet she knew in the back ofher mind that Jennifer was waiting for her to reject Philip, so shecould snap him up.
Finally, Mandy realized her indecision wascruel for the others. She sought out Philip, still not knowing ifshe would give him a yeah or nay. She had thought her son was withMary, his nursemaid, but as she looked down the deer park, she sawhim walking beside Philip. They each carried a willow wand thatPhilip had cut for them, and they were taking turns swiping thelong grasses that stood in their path. He heart overflowed withgratitude that he was safe and happy.
She walked across the lawns to meet them."Nicholas, you little scamp, Mary will be looking everywhere foryou. Run along and find her, that's a good boy."
Philip took her hand as they walked along andher eyes followed the small figure of her son with the dark tussledhair, so exactly like his father.
Suddenly, Philip stopped and turned her toface him. He had been reading her thoughts again. "Amanda, stopliving in the past-- let me love you."
She searched his face, looking for answers toher dilemma. Finally she said softly, "Philip, I've decided wewould make a very nice family, if you still want me to marryyou."
He laughed and hugged her to him. "You'llnever regret it, Amanda, I swear. We'll have an engagement party;we'll tell the whole world."
"Philip, we'll have a small party if youlike, but no formal announcements, please. Let's just quietly letthem know we are going to be married."
"Whatever you decide is fine by me," heassured her happily.
As Amanda dressed for the party, she was gladthat the warm weather had finally arrived so she could pack awaywinter's dark, drab velvets. She had a new gown for the occasion inthe latest style. Yards and yards of skirts were no longer infashion and the new pale green gown had a stylish little bustlethat did wonders for her slim figure.
She glanced from her bedroom window down ontothe lawn where the guests had begun to arrive. She was about toturn to the mirror with hairbrush in hand, when her eye caughtsight of a rider far off down the deer park. Mandy's heart caughtin her throat as something familiar struck her subconscious aboutthe wide set of the shoulders of the rider who approached in thedistance.
