She went straight from the garden crops tothe cotton. Samuel prepared the food for the field hands they hadleft, and Amanda took over the job of ginning the cotton of itsseed in their own mill. She hoped that when it was baled, Rafewould take it off her hands.
At last the thing she had been waiting forcame about. Her father arrived, and she felt a weight lift from hershoulders the moment she glimpsed his carriage. But as he slowlyascended the front steps, her hopes vanished.
"Is there any news Father?" she begged.
"Yes, but non of it's good I'm afraid." Hisshoulders sagged, his face had a grayish tinge, and he looked thevery picture of defeat.
"Nicholas?" she whispered.
He shook his head wearily. "It pains me tohave to burden you Amanda. Ah lived my whole life believingwomenfolk should be protected from all unpleasantness. My abjectapologies,child, but I could not locate him in any Union prison. Ihave access to the lists, but he simply isn't there. I feel in myheart that we must accept Nicholas's death. To do otherwise wouldbe to deceive ourselves."
Amanda sat silently. She knew her father'sadvice made sense, yet she also knew there was a part of her thatmight never be able to accept the death of the man she loved withall her heart and soul.
Her father's head hung down as if he were tooashamed to go on. She searched her mind for a possible cause. "LadyPamela is not with you?" she asked gently.
He shook his head. "Made her way toWashington as fast as her legs could carry her. My wealth seems tobe evaporating Amanda."
"Don't worry about her Daddy, she'll sleepher way to the bottom. You were too good for her."
Although he seemed shocked at Amanda'sknowledge of that sort of woman, she could tell his heart wasn'tthe least involved in losing the woman. Though he was embarrassed,he seemed relieved. "Father, there seems to be a burden you arecarrying about that will kill you if you don't share it withsomeone," she probed.
"Oh little Mandy, you have enough to copewith." He broke down altogether, openly sobbing.
She sank to her knees and gathered him in herarms, murmuring words of comfort. Strangely their roles werereversed; he the child, she the parent. She felt in part it wasbecause she was going to become a mother. The nurturing instincthad already begun.
Bernard produced a crumpled paper from hispocket. "Brandon is wounded."
She took the paper from his shaking fingersand sat back on her heels. "B. Jackson.. Wounded... Hampden'sRaiders."
"It doesn't tell us much, but at least he wasstill alive when this was written." She did not try to varnish overthe reality. Her mouth set in determination and her chin went up."We'll go and get him. We'll bring him home."
Her father raised his head, a ray of hopeshining in his eyes. "You can't travel up where the fighting'sgoing on."
"I can, and I will," she said firmly. "We cando it you know, if we hold hands around the dark corners."Nicholas said that to me once. His words constantly comeback.
There was very little gold left in the safe,but what there was, she took. She tried to think of a good hidingplace for the precious diamonds Nicholas had given her, but in theend decided the only safe place for them was on her person. Shestitched a deep pocket into one of her petticoats and concealedthem there.
Amanda and Bernard went to Richmond by train,although it was an indirect route. They changed from one railwayline to another at Florence, Wilmington, Goldsboro, Garysburg, andPetersburg. Though it was a long, tiring journey, it would havebeen worse by horse and carriage.
The trains were overflowing with recruitsgoing to the front lines. Amanda was appalled at how poorly theywere dressed. Most of the boys were in butternut homespun,well-worn boots, and had nothing more than an old hunting rifle.But their spirits blazed with patriotism and their youthful energymade light of what lay ahead of them.
It was very touching to see they were stillgrowing boys, whose wrists and ankles stuck out of their uniforms.None of them looked as if he got enough to eat.
When they reached their destination, Richmondwas swarming with uniformed men from all the various armydepartments The remount depots overflowed with mules and horses,gathered from all over the south. All the hospitals were packed tothe doors with the wounded and the sick, and large tobaccowarehouses were now also filled to overflowing with casualties ofthe war.
It seemed to Amanda that every secondbuilding was a barroom or a bawdy house. The streets were filledwith prostitutes. She was shocked, but when she learned how mucheverything cost, she began to understand. Flour was a thousanddollars a barrel, and shoes were being sold for five hundreddollars a pair. She thought sadly that women could do worse thingsthan sleep with a man to get food.
One silver dollar was worth sixty Confederatepaper dollars.
Amanda and Bernard did not dare go furtherNorth by railroad, as the Union troops spent a deal of time blowingup the lines. Her father hired a carriage and driver to take themto Fredericksburg, but it took most of the coins he and Amanda hadbetween them.
Mandy began to fear for her father. He lookedsuch a very old man.Perhaps he shouldn't have undertaken suchan arduous journey.She did not let him know she was withchild. Even though she had begun to show, he was too preoccupied tonotice.
They put up at a boarding house until theycould locate Brandon, and when they arose the next morning, foundtheir driver had deserted.
Mandy knew if she faltered, Bernard would sitwith his head in his hands, and the inevitable tears would follow.She made light of the defection, and they set out to go through themilitary red tape necessary to locate a wounded man.
Though Bernard had spent years in politics,he seemed to get nowhere. Finally, Amanda insisted she would searcheach hospital and warehouse personally if that was the only way shecould locate her brother. "Unheard of" she was told, until itdawned on her that a bribe would be necessary. Reluctantly, sheproduced a diamond bracelet and miraculously a young lieutenant wasassigned to guide them through the hospital wards.
