“It’s fine, Adam,” he whispers and nibbles on his bottom lip like he’s thinking about it. We’re so close to my dorm, I can see the front door from the sidewalk where we’re walking. Hecan’t be having second thoughts on me now. “I hate this feeling inside of me,” he continues, looking crestfallen, and I pull him faster along the sidewalk so we can get to my room and really talk about it. Because he deserves honesty, and I can’t tell him everything, but maybe the small things will hold him over.
“Let’s go up to my room, and we can talk more.” I don’t wait for his answer, instead crossing the pavement faster and throwing open the entrance door. One of the RAs is sitting at the front desk, and I wave to him as I walk by. Thomas is normally pretty cool and doesn’t care if we have guests over.
“Hunter?” he asks, and Hunter freezes against me, trying to drop my hand. I shouldn’t let him, he’smine,and I want everyone to know it. But I have to respect his boundaries as well. Maybe he knows this guy, and he’s worried about his reaction.
“Thomas! Hey, how are you?” His voice cracks, and I furrow my brows, hating the feeling of Hunter being this nervous around someone.
“I’m good. How was your birthday?”
They talk back and forth while Hunter tells Thomas all about our weekend, sans anything about me, like I wasn’t even there.
“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Thomas asks.
“Yeah, for sure. Just text me what time and I’ll be ready.”
“Cool.” Thomas nods, smiling at Hunter in a way that makes the possessive beast rise inside me.
“We have to go,” I snap, and Hunter flinches beside me but doesn’t say anything until we get safely behind my door. I sit on the couch and wait for him to sit beside me. Instead, he sits on the far end, and with the turmoil building inside me, that won’t do. Not tonight. Not after that.
“Where are you two going tomorrow?” I ask, forcing myself into his space until our legs and arms are touching. I turn my head to look at him, and he’s looking down at my coffee table. The coffee table that I cleaned off before I left for the trip,because after seeing Hunter cleaning, I realized that the ways I’m acting out against my upbringing are just holding me back.
“Nowhere,” Hunter replies, tapping his fingers against his leg. I place my hand over his and soak in the electricity that zips through me every time we touch. “I shouldn’t be here, I should go.” He tries to stand, but I push down on his leg, not giving him the chance to move.
“No. You’re not leaving.” My tone is biting, harsh.
“You can’t tell me what to do, Adam. You should be more worried about your gir?—”
“Finish that sentence, I dare you,” I threaten him. I won’t actually hurt him, but I will make sure he doesn’t forget. “When it’s you and me, you don’t bring her up. Got it?”
“I can’t, Adam. And you know it.” He sounds defeated, and the tears forming in the corners of his eyes break my heart.
“My parents died when I was young. I was under Danielle’s mom’s care until I turned eighteen,” I tell him, offering a sliver of my life before he came into the picture. He turns his face to me, his eyes questioning, but he’s too polite to pry. “There are… rules me and Danielle have to follow. And one of them is that we have to be together.” I use layman’s terms, because if I had to lay out every fucked-up detail, I would probably go into a rage.
I pause, breathing deeply and continuing. Hunter flips his hand under mine and fastens our fingers together, stroking his thumb over the top of my hand in a soothing motion. “Her mom thinks we’re dating, and so do her social circles, and people on campus.”
“But you were holding my hand…” He trails off.
“Yeah, I was. And it was probably stupid of me.” He flinches, and I rush to soothe him. “Not because of you, but because we can’t afford to mess this up. My inheritance and Danielle’s college degree rely on this. If people find out that I’m not actually with her, it could ruin my life and hers.”
“But… you have money, right? That’s not your inheritance,” he clarifies.
“Yes, but there’s a lot in the inheritance that would go to bad people if I don’t get it. And Danielle isn’t like me; she hasnothingwithout her mom.” I could help her, and I’ve offered time and time again, but she refuses. It’s for the best if we can stick it out. Only two and a half more years. It’s easy when we’ve been faking it this long. But I’ve never had someone that I’ve been interested in. Girls throw themselves at me all the time, whether it’s my looks or because they know about the money that is attached to my last name. A few guys, too. But none of them have set my blood on fire the way Hunter has.
“So, what?”
“Can you give me a chance? I know it won’t be normal, and it will be hard. We’ll have to hide.” Fuck, I wish I could give him more than that. I want to hold his hand and show him off. Buy him the most expensive jewelry and take him on luxury vacations.
“You want me, but you want to hide me?”
“That’s the bottom line, yes. But I more thanwantyou. I crave you. I want to wake up next to you every morning and feed you chocolate chip cookies, and go on hikes with you through the woods. But I can understand if you don’t want to hide.” And I do understand, but it won’t be easy, and I’ll make sure he can’t forget about me if that’s what he chooses.
“I have a date with Thomas tomorrow.” I see red, the pulse point in my neck throbbing, and my vision goes hazy. No. No, the fuck, he does not have a date with Thomas tomorrow. “I can’t cancel, either, it will look suspicious. After we walked in here holding hands.” Fuck, he’s right. He’s so right, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
“But… If you tell Danielle first thing tomorrow, I’ll come over here after my date with him.” Hope blossoms in my chest.
“Really?” He nods.
“Really. But youhaveto tell her, Adam. I can stand us only being together behind closed doors, but I won’t lie to her.”
