“He was.”Was,past tense.
“Anyway, I get why birthdays can be hard, but you deserve to have a good birthday.” He raises his hand to my face, and I watch, unmoving. Scared that if I even breathe, it’s going to ruin the moment. Adam’s fingers touch my face, the smooth skin of his fingertips brushing across my top lip. My heart is palpitating, and I can feel a drop of sweat trickle down my back and into the waistband of my black athletic shorts. “You deserve to be happy, Collins.” He removes his finger from my lip, and I can feel his missing heat like a physical thing when he steps back.
“We better go catch Danielle before she starts swimming. I’m not sure about you, but I don’t trust that water.” The water in question is dark and definitely not something I would want to submerge my whole body in. So weshouldgo stop Danielle, but a part of me wants to beg him to stand here with me. To never leave me. And how pitiful is that?
We get Danielle out of the water. Thankfully, she was only in it up to her knees when I told her I’d never swum in it, that changed her mind really freaking quickly.
We’re sitting underneath the tree, my back propped against it while Adam sits beside me and Danielle sits cross-legged, facing both of us. I’m listening to Danielle and Adam bicker back and forth. What started as a talk about how our classes were going somehow morphed into their individual degree plans, and now Danielle’s voice is raised while Adam looks unbothered.
“I don’t care, Adam,” she remarks haughtily, looking down her nose at him.
“You should care, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
“You don’t care about anything, except your stupid inheritance.” I feel Adam’s body tense, and his tone is cool when he responds, “Shut your mouth, Danielle.” She sniffs, annoyed.
“Why should I? It’s the truth. Iactuallywant to make a difference.”
“I said shut your fucking mouth.” Adam stands up and glares down at Danielle, and she glares right back. I feel like I’m listening in on something that I am definitely not a part of.
“No! It’s true.” Danielle stands up now, and their height difference would be comical under different circumstances.
Adam sneers, his lip pulling up in agitation.
“Fuck this, I’m going back to the house. Enjoy the rest of your birthday, Collins.” And he storms off.
18
ADAM
In my rush to leave, I realize I have no fucking clue how to get back to Hunter’s house. My irritation grows with every step I take, knowing that the direction I’m going in is wrong because none of it looks familiar. Or maybe it is right. Who fucking knows? Not me.
I love Danielle, I really do. She’s been one of my closest friends for the longest time, but she knows just what to say to piss me off. Talking about her college classes is the first thing, because the lies we’ve weaved about them are astronomical now, and we don’t need to get another person involved.
Does she care? No, because as soon as she graduates, she’s planning on throwing the middle finger up to her mother. And I understand and respect that, I really do, but my life is also on the line here. Bringing up my trust fund was a low blow because she knows that’s not all it is to me. It’s never been about the money; it’s been about making sure greedy people don’t end up with it.
Now that Hunter knows I have money waiting for me, he’s going to treat me differently, like everyone else, expecting me to pay their way and buy them anything they want. I wanted the illusion that Hunter might like me for me to last a little bitlonger, but we can’t always get what we want. My life is proof of that.
Money doesn’t make a person happy, no matter how much it is. But it has the capacity to help people who need it. That’s the only reason I’m doing this dog and pony show with Danielle.
The sunlight can barely be seen through the thickness of the trees overhead. An eerie silence surrounds me.
I wish I hadn’t come this weekend, I knew it was going to be a disaster. But I’m a glutton for punishment and seeing Hunter and knowing I’ll never be able to have him, no matter how desperate I am for it.
Would he give me a chance if I wasn’t me? Would he walk down the sidewalk holding my hand and tell everyone how glad he is to have me?
“Adam!” his deep voice calls, echoing off the trees and sounding like it’s coming from all angles. Or maybe that’s my brain firing off too many signals to truly comprehend.
“Adam! Where are you?” he calls again, his voice sounding panicked. A petty part of me doesn’t want to answer. Let him wander these woods until he tires and leaves me be. But as much as I try to be an asshole to him, something inside of me begs me to be kind to him. To treat him differently than everyone else. It’s a constant war inside my mind.
He’s closer now, I can hear his footsteps across the foliage and his mumbling.
“I’m here,” I say, more subdued than I should, and I mentally kick myself for sounding weak. Carter men are supposed to bestrong.We don’tfeellike normal people. We take other people’s emotions and use them for our own benefit.
“I’m so lucky I found you.” His huff of breath sounds… thankful. Thankful that he found me. It causes a weird flutter in my chest, knowing even after that little show with Danielle, he’s not seeing me differently. At least not yet.
He appears around a tree and his face is flushed, the bright pink contrasting with his dark hair and dark eyes. His pouty pink lips are wet, probably from how he’s been licking them. I want to put my mouth against his. I want to feel his tongue against my lips while we battle for dominance.
“What were you thinking?” he says, stopping in front of me and glaring. His brown eyes are wide and framed by thick, dark lashes. I thread my fingers together in front of my body to fight the urge to trace the scar on his upper lip like I did earlier. It was a moment of weakness, but one that’s getting harder and harder to stay strong against.
