How can Cooper have no fear of failure?
“Anyway,” he says, standing, “have fun tonight. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
“Wait!” Without thinking, I grab his hand. He looks at my fingers wrapped around his, then raises his eyes to mine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. What you do with your future is none of my business.”
“I’m not upset.” He squeezes my hand and lets go, offering me a small smile that doesn’t meet his eyes.
He’s clearly lying, and as I watch him walk back over to his friends, a cold, throbbing ache fills my chest.
Wow, way to be an asshole and ruin everything, Ellis.
I set my plate down next to me, my appetite now gone. Across the fire, Chloe joins Cooper. She says something to him, and he laughs. She rests her head on his shoulder.
Ugh.I cannot be here anymore.
I take out my phone and text Sloane to let her know I’m going home. As I stand, Cooper’s eyes swing to me. I put my head down and throw my trash away.
After a cold walk home alone, I head up to the attic and change into my pajamas. I wipe off my makeup and climb into bed, where I scroll through my phone for the next thirty minutes, liking everyone’s photos from the bonfire and my old friends’ photos of their parties in New York.
But my mind is distracted.
I’m contemplating texting Cooper another apology when my phone buzzes in my hands, and his name appears on the screen.
Summer Cooper:You awake?
Me:Yes.
Summer Cooper:Come outside.
I bolt upright. Does that mean he’s here?!
Me:Now???
Summer Cooper:Yeah
I groan, looking down at my outfit. My oversized sweatshirt and flannel pants are probably the least attractive clothes I own, but I don’t have time to change if he’s waiting outside.
Downstairs, I throw on a pair of boots and the men’s Barbour jacket I thrifted a few years ago, and I head outside into the cold, ready for him to tell me what a massive jerk I am. Ready to hear that he doesn’t want to talk to me ever again. Ready to apologize again for being, well,my dadearlier.
Ready to accept the end of a promising friendship.
Cooper’s leaning against the lamppost with his arms crossed over his chest, the light from overhead accentuating the shadowed angles of his face. I close the door behind me, and he pushes off the post and meets me on the sidewalk.
“Hey,” I say, my voice barely a whisper. I kick at a lone red maple leaf, staring at its long stem instead of the boy in front of me. “I didn’t think you’d talk to me again. After what I said, I mean.”
Silence lingers for a moment before he exhales and says, “You were right. I was upset.”
I finally look up, my stomach plummeting with his admission. “I know. I’m so sorry. I—”
Cooper holds up his hand. “I’m not done.” I press my lips together and nod. He chews the inside of his cheek before continuing. “I was upset,butI thought about it, and I don’t think this is about me at all.”
“What do you mean?”
“I… I think you’ve grown up in a world where the only important things are money and status, and now, you have this warped sense of what the future should look like—when, in reality, it can look however youwantit to look. But I don’t think you’ve figured that out yet.” My brow furrows, and he quickly adds, “And I don’t mean that as a dig. I think you’re brilliant and driven, and you can do literallyanythingyou want to do, Ellis. Butyoudon’t seem to believe it.” He shrugs. “So, no, I’m not upset anymore. I’m not going to stop being friends with you. Instead,” he says with a smirk, “I’m just going to have to prove to you that I can be one of the few who succeed and that the future is whatever you make it. That you just have to chase after the things you want.”
I stare at him. A flurry of relief, disbelief, andaweswirls inside me.
I don’t agree with him—I don’t think the future can look however a person wants it to look just by having drive and passion, at least not when the future they envision involves unrealistic expectations and lofty, impractical dreams. He makes it sound as simple as plucking a career from a tree and declaring it yours.
