I lie flat against the rock with her, and we stare up at the clouds. She grabs my hand and holds it tight.
“This is nice,” I say.
“Yeah,” she agrees. “It really is.”
We stay here until we have to head back for her shift. As I drive her to her condo, she reaches over and places her hand on my thigh.
“Thanks for being spontaneous,” she says.
“Thanks for making me want to be.”
She squeezes my leg. “We should do this again.”
“Deal.”
I walk her to her door, and she takes a step forward, giving me a tight hug. I hold her until she pulls away.
“Want to have dinner tonight?”
“I get off at eight.”
“Great,” I say. “It’s a date.”
Her brows lift. “Oh, adate. Sounds official.”
I laugh. “See you then.”
As I’m driving out of town and back up the mountain toward my cabin, my phone rings. It’s Asher.
“Finally,” he says when I answer. “I thought a small-town serial killer had murdered you.”
“Just living in the moment.”
“Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?”
I think about Julie.
“I’m currently trying to figure that out.”
“Well, whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.”
“I think I might.”
“Good. Don’t overthink it.”
After we hang up, I sit in the Range Rover for a moment and smile. Am I happy? Such a simple word for such a complicated feeling. The back seat holds string lights and bear pillows, and I think about what Julie’s lips tasted like.
I want to find happiness, and that terrifies me more than anything else. I thought it didn’t exist anymore—at least not for me.
But Asher is right. I do run from people at the thirty-day mark. And in forty-four days, Ihaveto leave. So, things are complicated.
For now, I’m going to hang string lights in a rental cabin and put pillows on a couch I don’t own.
Today, I want to live like this is real and like my deadlines don’t exist.
This must be what Eden meant when she told me to live in the moment.
8
