I close my eyes, the pain in my neck amplifying and my head pounding, but I smile. “God, you’re so wholesome it makes my chest hurt.”
“It’s just for the school year.”
“That’s what they all say.” I open my eyes and stare at him fondly. “What country?”
“Greece,” he answers. One word. One place. One very long plane ride away.
“Do you speak Greek?”
His hand gently squeezes my calf. “No, but that’s kind of the point.”
“Well, I would fully appreciate it if you at least attempted to learn some words...” my voice trails, and my troll-like appearance probably makes the insinuation comical.
He plays into it anyway, brushing his fingers over my forehead and into my hair. “I’ll serenade you with all the Greek words when I return.”
The ache in my chest returns, but I disguise it with a humorous delivery of my next statement. “I think I might miss you a little bit.”
He huffs slightly, acknowledging the humor in my voice but not letting it be funny.
I hang on to the expression in his eyes, wondering how we could have reached this point. I will myself not to cry, but alas, tears spring to my eyes, and I feel sick to my stomach. I don’t even understand what I’m crying for.
I blame the meningitis.
“It’ll be easier this way, I guess,” I confess, my physical and emotional state making my tongue loose with honesty.
“What?” he asks.
“Not falling in love with you,” I breathe.
He doesn’t respond immediately, and I ignore the crease between his eyebrows and the pulse in his jaw, wishing I didn’t say that. I pretend I don’t see him swallow hard or blink away the disappointment in his eyes.
He huffs out a deep breath. “Is this whole two-year waiting period actually necessary?”
I’d sit up if I weren’t still dizzy and feverish. “It is a part of the code of ethics I agreed to.”
He nods. “That’s unfortunate. Can we talk at least?”
“I mean, we are. I guess here and there is fine. Technically, it’s against the rules, but I’ll allow it. We should be careful, though, because with you I know I will very easily get carried away,” I admit.
A thoughtful, almost sad smile spreads across his lips. “All I want to do is carry you away.”
My heart beats double in speed. “Are you just trying to sleep with me?” I tease. “Because I’m an ill woman, and that’s a weird kink.”
He lets out a loud laugh at my deflection.
“And hey, you might fall in love in Greece. Why would you want to be tied to someone back in the States?” The intrusive thought leaves my lips before I can think about how to say it.
“Is that what you want?” he asks, his tone toeing the line between calling my bluff and genuine wonder.
“I want you to be happy. Even if it’s not with me.” I swallow hard. “Don’t wait for me. Date. Fall in love. If it’s going to be us in the end. It will.” I grit my teeth, forcing out the words because I don’t really want to wait to be all-in either.
But the reality is I am still his niece’s therapist. He’s moving to Greece for a year.
“I hate this,” he says.
I give a slow, painful nod of my head.
We stay quiet for a while, both of us searching for words that don’t alleviate our circumstances.
