“Yeah, well, this time I’m trying to process how messed up I was when you left me that night. Maybe this time I’m reminded of how every time I look at my stupid taco tattoo, I think of you and your smile and how much I’ve missed you but didn’t darereach out because that would make me an asshole, stepping on another man’s toes by speaking to his fiancée.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner. I just...” I pause, my mind searching for reasons. “I don’t have a better answer. I didn’t reach out sooner because as much as I know I shouldn’t be with Donavan, he was still a huge part of my life and I needed to heal my heart a little more before I complicated it with you.”
“So I’m a complication?”
“Yes!” I answer, exasperated. “You’re my biggest complication, and I can’t understand it or explain it. I’m just drawn to you at all times, no matter where I go or whatever I do. I see glimpses of you because you’re...you!”
He’s so quiet and guarded on the other side of the table I need an ice pick to break through.
I pick at my nails and bite the inside of my cheek. “I just want us to be okay before I move.”
His expression softens. “Moving where?”
“Seattle... Lake Washington. I’m buying my grandma’s lake house.”
“What about your practice?”
“Ebony is taking over and hiring another therapist, and I’m going to start a new one in Washington. You know they’re all dying of seasonal depression over there so I’m sure business will be fantastic.” I force a laugh but JP just looks so sad. The droopy look in his eyes, which I used to love, makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t know what I expected when I saw him again but it certainly wasn’t this.
He laces his fingers together and rests his chin on them. “So you’re moving?”
“Yes.”
He bites his lip, unable to hide the disappointment on his face. “It’s never going to be us, is it?”
“JP...”
“No, I’m serious. You texted me today and seeing your name made my heart fly out of my chest. It’s always been like that, even when it was early in or I was embarrassed or ashamed of the circumstances. Then, to walk into the same coffee shop and see you covered in iced coffee made a completely idiotic thought fly across my mind like,this is it. This is when it’s going to be us. I’m struggling to continue to feel this kind of hope, only for it to not work out.”
“Well, who said I was trying to get back with you anyway,” I tease, trying to lighten the mood.
It doesn’t work.
He remains tense.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. You know, I’m just going to go. I didn’t mean for this to turn into... this.” I gesture between us, grab my bag, and leave.
I don’t make it fifteen steps on the sidewalk before I feel him grab my arm. “Don’t run.”
I stare at him, hopelessness between us. “Want to move to Washington?” I ask jokingly.
He responds by slipping a hand around my neck and snaking the other around my waist, then he’s kissing me like he’s never going to see me again. Not in this lifetime or the next. I dig my fingers in his hair and pull him to me. I need him. My skin is burning everywhere he touches and my heart is screaming for him.
“Take me home,” I plead.
“I have to work,” he murmurs against my lips.
A soft whimper escapes my lips into his mouth and he pulls back, bracing the brick wall against my back as he stares down at me.
“I guess I’m suddenly not feeling well,” he says.
A slow smile plays on his lips before I sink my lips on his once again.
TWENTY PAINFUL, SEXUALtension-filled minutes later, we’re at his door, stumbling over the threshold and slamming the door shut.
“Are you sure you want to?” he asks against my lips.
“God, yes,” I say, wrapping my legs around him as he pushes me up against the door.
