So that was what I was going to do.
Today.
Because every single night this year, I’d woken up in a panic worrying about this—what would I even say? Would Fran be annoyed that I’d come?—and then stayed awake, shivering despite the heat of the apartment, for hours and hours. I was exhausted.
And if I delayed any more, I was very afraid I wouldn’t do it at all.
“Weellll,” Ms. Dorian sighed in resignation, “if you’ve made up your mind, then I suppose I wish you luck.”
I nodded solemnly. “Thank you. And you enjoy those bran muffins, Ms. Dorian. They’re really healthyandtasty. They’ll help you stick to those New Year’s resolutions.”
“Nonsense,” she sniffed. “I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. Real change can’t be forced just because of a date on a calendar.” She grabbed her bakery box, then paused. “I hope you make it back safely, Mark.” Her voice indicated that she felt this was a remote possibility at best.
Then she swept out the door.
“Oh my God,” Rae said, tucking back their purple-streaked hair. “I think Lisa Dorian just proposed marriage to you! I’ve never heard her sound so freakin’sentimental.You two will make a lovely couple.”
“Shut it.” I elbowed Rae lightly and they chuckled.
“Look, as much as I hate to agree with the Dragon aboutanything,” Brian began, “it’s possible she has a point about you driving out to see Fran, Marky Mark. I mean, whynow? And what for? How well do youreallyknow this guy, anyway? ’Cause I don’t know what he was like four years ago, but right now he’s a person who doesn’t want anything to do with anyone. He doesn’t come to town for festivals or even to shop at Lyon’s Imperial. In fact, as far as I know, he never leaves the mountain atall—”
“Nonsense,” Hen Lattimer scoffed. “’Course he leaves the mountain, though maybe not as often in the winter. He owns the diner across the street with his name over the door, doesn’t he?” Hen jerked a thumb out the window at Goode’s Diner. “Diane manages the place day-to-day, of course, and Fran’s got some lawyer folks over in Camden who’ve handled his financials since his folks died and left him the diner when he was a kid, but Fran keeps a hand in here and there. And he gets his groceries from a store, Brian, same as you and me. Just a store that’s not in O’Leary.” His mustache twitched. “Fran’s got a little bit of an axe to grind with the town and our meddling ways from back when his grandpa died. When it first happened, I thought he was barking up the wrong tree, but upon reflection… I don’t know as I totally blame him.” To Everett, he added, “You might not know this, Ev, but sometimes people don’t take too kindly to other folks interfering in their lives.”
“You don’t say!” Ev feigned shock.
“Well, I have something to blame him for.” Brian lifted his chin. “One time, when Dare went up there to check on him, Fran told Dare to get off his property, which was seriously, seriouslyrude.”
Clearly this was the biggest strike against Fran. How could anyone be rude to Brian’s forest ranger boyfriend?
I folded my arms. “Fran doesn’t sound like a monster; he sounds like an introvert and a man who values his privacy. Nothing wrong with that.”
“No,” Liam agreed. “You’re right. But back up the bus a minute. Why are you going up there in the first place? What’s he got to do with your New Year’s resolution?”
Five pairs of eyes watched me steadily and I felt my cheeks get warm. A bout of awkward word vomit was imminent, I could just feel it.
“I want to move forward,” I said, trying to calm myself. “To stop living in the past—”
“But, Franisyour past.” Brian frowned. “Isn’t he? I mean, it’s not like you talk about him ever, but I sorta got the impression from the few things youhavesaid that Fran was the one who got away. Back when you and I first met, you said Fran was your gravity, but that he’d never kissed you. And I deduced through instinct and my keen observational skills—specifically, noting that you looked like the saddest of sad pandas when you said this—that you’d hoped things would shake out differently. But, like… if you contacted Fran when you first came to town and he hasn’t responded or made an effort to see you in all these months…” He winced. “I just don’t think he’s that into you.”
“Uh. Heh.” I cleared my throat. “About that. Funny story. Brian, you know I adore you, but when I first came to town, I maybe indicated… some things… about my relationship with Fran…that weren’t entirely…” I licked my lips. “Accurate?”
Liam’s face scrunched up. “Like what?”
“Like, for example… I maybe never actually called Fran back in June, exactly?”
“You didn’t call him in June, exactly?” Brian raised an eyebrow. “Or you didn’t call him at all?”
“At all? I mean, I thought about it. I really did,” I said in a rush, pacing the small space behind the counter. I sounded like a chickenshit because I was. “But I kept hoping I’d run into him somehow, like maybe he’d come to and it would happen organically, and then, well… it didn’t. And here we are. Half a year later. And the truth is… the truth is… heisthe one who got away, not because we never got together, but because he’s kind of maybe my ex-boyfriend.”
I pressed my lips together to stop the awkward word vomit, at least temporarily.
“Haha!Oh, this is gonna be good.” Hen Lattimer grabbed a chair from a nearby table and dragged it over to his, then tapped the seat and winked at me. “Come sit right here, son. This is a story I wanna hear.”
Brian looked crestfallen. “But you very specifically said you’d never kissed—”
“He lied, Brian.” Liam patted Brian’s shoulder comfortingly, then pulled his own chair over to sit by Everett.
“Ididlie, but only because I hardly knew you then and it was—is—personal.” I rubbed a hand over my chest. “I worried you’d ask all kinds of deep, personal questions I didn’t want to answer.”
