I set my jaw. “Still better thanConste-fucking-llations.”
“Hey! Still here.” Jay waved a hand in front of my face and raised his voice. “Stillrighthere.”
Yes. Yes, I was aware that he was there. I’d been way, way, way too aware of him beingright the heck thereever since he’d looked at me back in the diner, held his fork in his calloused, long-fingered hand, and licked blueberry juice off it.
If that was not a crime in the state of Tennessee, it damn well should have been.
Since then, he’d compounded his sins by eating the takeout pancakes in a way that made me think of blow jobs and sucking on honey drops in a way that made me want to kiss him, which was so distracting I could almost forget what a truly terrible driver he was.
But not quite.
I’d debated instituting a no-licking and sucking rule, but I felt like that would probably say more about me than Jay’s forking habits. And to be honest, I’d been hyperaware of him long before cutlery had gotten involved. Since yesterday in the van… Heck, since two days ago, when he’d stood near me on the street in Whispering Key and I’d realized that the wobble in my gut wasn’tjustanger but some new anger-lust hybrid… Or, fine, since I was fifteen because even before I’d recognized my attraction to Jay, I’d known he was one of the most important people in my life and there wasn’t much I wouldn’t do for him.
“Listen, I’ll be home in a few days,” I reminded my brother. “Let’s table this for now, and later we can—”
“No. Nope! We are not waiting until the day before the concert to pick the damn decorations. I plan to spend the Extravaganza drunk off my ass,nothustling up and down a ladder to hang a thousand foil stars when you finally come to your senses.”
“Then come up with a new theme! Because I refuse to have the Extravaganza associated with—”
“I’mliterally sitting right here!” Jay shouted before I could finish my sentence. “God.”
“Sorry, Jayd,” Gage said. “For what it’s worth, I respect the stars.”
“Not your fault,” Jay gritted out. “I know exactly which Goodman doesn’t want to be associated with me.”
I huffed out a breath. That was not the problem I was having. That was the polar opposite of the problem I was having.
I was trying to remind myself of all the lessons I’d learned the first time Jay broke me, but it was hard to wrap myself in a dark cloak of hurt when Jay kept smiling at me and spreading sunshine around, damn it.
I didn’t want my heart to soften toward him, but how the hell could I help it when he talked about getting a gold record—having the world in love with his music—and having to go out to a club so he could find people to celebrate with?
Did he even know how lonely he sounded?
“Rafe,” Gage said slyly. “Have you played that game I suggested? You really should. And thank me later.”
I scowled. I was not in the mood for games.
After Gage hung up, Jay darted a glance at me. “I thought you didn’t hate me,” he said, his voice so flat and monotone that guilt clawed at me.
“I don’t. This isn’t about you,” I sort of lied. “Not everything is aboutyou.” Except that these days, for me, it sure felt like it was.
“You could tell me what’s going on with Aimee,” he said in that same neutral voice. “If she’s really sick, too sick to act on her own, my lawyers will find me a way in to see her. You don’t have to see this through if it’s fucking you up that badly.”
I thought about that, about just telling Jay the whole thing and washing my hands of it. It made sense, really. He was already too invested for Aimee to hold on to her secrets, and he’d never let her down. I could be home by tomorrow, back to my usual responsibilities, and my comfortable island existence, and my daydreams of an exciting future.
“Nope,” I said firmly. “Not happening.”
Jay sighed and fell silent for a minute.
“So this decoration thing isn’t about me having a huge scandal attached to my name?” he demanded abruptly, like this had been weighing on his mind. “And you wanting to keep that away from the Key?”
I turned in my seat to face him. “Fuck, no. That never crossed my mind.”
Jay accelerated. “So it’s about the shit you said at the meeting the other day. That you think I’m allergic to responsibility—”
I sighed. Deep down, I’d known that was a stretch even while I was saying it. Yelling it. Whichever.
“Not… exactly. No. You’ve always taken care of Aimee. And your career.” I hurried on before he could question what I thought hehadn’ttaken care of and realize I was mostly talking aboutme. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
