Jay couldn’t possibly have heard me, but maybe he read my lips because after he grabbed the mic from Chet and they exchanged one-arm hugs, he told the audience, “Surprise, Whispering Key! I was a little late, and I worried I might not get here, but I called in a favor from a friend who knows a pilot, and I finally made it.” He turned his head directly toward me and touched a hand to his chest right over his heart. “I’m home.”
The crowd went wild. The slice of them I could see from my side of the stage jumped to their feet, lawn blankets abandoned in their excitement.
And me? I died and came back to life. Right there.
I had no idea what his words meant, exactly, and I was for sure going to care about that later. But at that moment? The only thing I knew was that Jay was right there in front of me, two running steps and a flying tackle away.
Beale yelled something in my ear, but I didn’t hear him. My phone vibrated in my pocket, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about that either.
Jay wasright there. Looking a little tired but really fucking satisfied with life and staring at me like he had a secret.
Thegoodkind.
“You guys are amazing! Why would a guy ever want to play anywhere else, huh? Let’s have another round of applause for my close, personal friend Chet, who flew in to pinch hit for mewithoutthe rest of his band! Chet, you’re a star, man. And if you guys are fans of Chet’s innovative sound, and I think we all are after that awesome set, he’s got a whole bunch of music you can check out on YouTube!”
The audience screamed, and I imagined it was the most gratifying sound of Chet’s whole career.
“Let’s start off with one of my favorites, ‘Pretty Girl.’It’s come to my attention that some of my lyrics are a little obscure, so I want to make it clear: this is a song about me falling for aguy. One particular amazing guy.”
I looked around in a panic to gauge reactions. What the heckingheckwas Jay doing? Had he lost his mind?
“I’ve been hiding some things about me for a long time, you guys. Important things. Not because I don’t love you all, but because I wanted to keep my private life private. Still… a secret is a secret, isn’t it? And a bunch of people I’m really lucky to have in my life helped me see that secrets only make you weaker, no matter how good your intentions started out. One of them reminded me representation matters, too. So, Cedar in Larindosa, Wyoming? Massive thanks to you, my friend, if you ever catch this on the internet. Cedar told me ‘Pretty Girl’gave him the courage to talk about some hard things, and I wanna thank him right back for giving that same courage to me.” He took a deep breath. “I’m gay… and I can’t ever love a pretty girl.”
Holy. Shit.My breathing went funny as warmth spread out from my chest. He’d done it. He’d fucking done it.
The audience went crazy again—like, dizzying heights of crazy—but when Jay wrapped his guitar around his neck and strummed out the first chord, they fell quiet. In fact, an expectant hush seemed to fall over the whole island, from the graves where Resolute Goodman and his best friend, Jacob Godfrey, lay, past the beaches and the boats where Jay and I spent our summers, all the way up to this stage, like the entire world had been waiting for this moment.
When Jay’s powerful voice rang out, he captivated all of us… but me most of all. At the end, he stopped playing and stood there with his eyes closed, two hands clenched around the mic,emoting, and every line of the song sounded like a pledge. It sounded like “I love you.”
And if the sun setting in your eyes could lock me out of heaven,
I knew I didn’t want that heaven.
’Cause you and I were heaven.
Jay turned his head to look directly at me and added…
You and Iarestillheaven.
Then he looked back to the crowd and grinned wildly as he launched into the last chorus…
And I still don’t want a pretty girl!
When the last note hung in the heavy air, pandemonium hit. People screamed and cheered. In the front row, I saw Littlejohn openly crying while Caroline Mitchell patted his back fondly, and my dad swaying to the music with his arms wrapped around Gloria from behind.
Jay’s eyes popped open, and he laughed out loud at the chaos he’d caused.
“Okay, so.” He dragged a little stool forward from the back of the stage. “Let’s get serious for a second.Moreserious. Show of hands, how many of you have ever made your crush a playlist? Uh-huh. That’s quite a few. And how many of you were scared to death to share it? Yes! Same. See, I had a crush when I was in high school. And after that. And… well, he’s still my crush to this day, honestly. So I wrote the man an album. And do you know what happened?”
Jay settled himself on the stool and put the mic back in its holder. He tossed me a grin over his shoulder. A grin that said this would be payback for every Ari joke I’d ever made.
Competitive fucker.
Mycompetitive fucker.
Every cell of my body wanted to rush the damn stage and carry him off.
“Hehatedit,” Jay told them dramatically. “He loathed it.”
