“M’kay.” Mason padded back out of the bathroom on bare feet and moved to shut the curtains, the muscles in his back and ass flexing as he walked. “Time to meet your fate, Fenn Reardon. Will it beDr. Whoseason two or season five?” He turned toward me with a bright smile.
My gut cramped. I wanted more time with him. Another night, anotherweek, where I could commit every facet of him to memory. His smell, the texture of his hair between my fingers, the sound of his voice when he laughed, and when he teased, and when he talked about his past.
And how the hell remembering any of that was gonna help me let go of him more easily, I couldn’t fucking tell you. The best thing for both of us would be to forget as soon as possible.
“Actually, Loafers, I’m not feeling great.” I stood and walked around him to retrieve my shorts from the table by the window. “Probably better if I sleep in my own bed.”
“Yeah?” Mason’s smile fell and his forehead creased. “What’s going on?”
Fuck.Right. Don’t fake illness when dating a doctor.
“Just tired. Up early, remember? Long-ass day, even before you wore me out.” I tossed him a wink. “Got another one tomorrow. Big storm coming this weekend, so we’ve rescheduled some stuff for tomorrow, and then we’ve got to prep the boat and the office later in the week.”
“Aw, babe, you should have said! We don’t have to watch TV.” He laid a hand on my jaw. “We can go to sleep if you—”
“It’s, like, 7:30 p.m.” I stepped away from his hand and grabbed my shirt from the table to drop it over my head. “You’re not gonna go to sleep at seven thirty just ’cause the guy you’re fucking has a job that means he has to go out before the ass-crack of dawn. Don’t be ridiculous.”
His mouth snapped shut, and his eyes flared with hurt. I couldn’t handle it. I needed to get away.
“Sleep well, okay?” I leaned in and kissed his smooth cheek, letting myself get one last big lungful of his scent before I moved away.
But Mason’s fingers clenched in my shirt, a little panicky, holding me in place. “What’s going on, Fenn? What did I do?”
“You haven’t done a damn thing, Loafers. You’re great. You’reperfect.”
He shook his head. “Yet you’re running away again.” He took a step away and ran two hands through his hair. “Jesus Christ, Fenn. Why? It’s like everytime we take a step forward—”
“I’m not running. I’mnot. I’m right here on Whispering Key, where I’ve always been.” I spread my arms wide. “Tomorrow, I’ll be on Whispering Key. Come June or September or next year, when you’re long gone, still on Whispering Key.”
“I don’t care where your feet are,” Mason said in a dull, flat voice I’d never heard from him before. “Right now you’re emotionally light-years away from me.”
“That’s not—”
“Donotlie to me. This morning, you called mebaby. When you broke into my room, you called mebaby. When you had your cock in my ass two hours ago, I was definitely—” His voice broke and he seemed to crumple in on himself. “—baby.Now, I’m Loafersagain, and you’re ‘the guy I’m fucking.’ So I’m asking, what changed? Was it something I did?”
Oh, man. Oh,man. In my entire Universe-forsaken life, I hadn’t had that much raw emotion leveled in my directionever. I was not worthy of that much emotion.
I grabbed his chin with my hand. “You didn’t doanythingwrong, Mason. You hear me? Not a damn thing. You are brilliant. You’re gorgeous.”
He frowned, his eyes red-rimmed and shiny. “Right. Sure, I am. So tell me you’re not breaking up with me right now.”
“Come on, Lo—Mason. Don’t be dramatic.Breaking up? This thing with you and me, it was always going to end when you left! It’s been amazing.Youare amazing.But it’s not serious. Don’t turn it into something it’s not, okay?”
“Right. And you came to this revelationafterwe had sex.”
“Hey! That wasyouridea.” I winced. “No, I mean, I wanted it, too!Clearly. It’s just that I wouldn’t have—”
Mason held up a hand to cut me off and drew himself straighter. “Being with you, Fenn Reardon, is like being strapped unwillingly to the front of a roller coaster. What happens next? Do you want me? Do you not? Are you pulling me close? Are you pushing me away? I have no say in any of it. All I can do is ride the track you’ve laid down, and Ipromisedmyself I wouldn’t do this shit again, Fenn. So, I’m done. I want off the ride. I could never tie myself permanently to a guy like you.”
I wanted to hold him so badly I had to clench my hands into fists. “I would never ask you to tie yourself to me, Mason.”
“No,” he said softly. “You wouldn’t. And that’s the trouble.” He strode to the door and held it open for me. “You take care of yourself, Fenn Reardon.”
This was better, I told myself. So much better. No bitter tears this way. No guilt.
I hesitated by the door, desperately wanting to kiss him again, but if I did, I might break down and beg him to never leave me, and then where would we be?
So instead, I said, “Sleep well, Mason Bloom.” Then I headed out into the gathering darkness and heard Mason’s door shut firmly behind me.
