“From the header at the top of the paper,” I explained. “See? The date and location of the fire? That’s ‘the event.’ The destruction of the bar that represented the sum total of my hopes and dreams is ‘the above-described event.’ Really captures all the emotions involved, doesn’t it?” My eyebrow twitched, and I forced myself to smile like the whole thing was a joke.
A very sick, extended joke.
Dana grimaced and looked back down at the paper. “The circumstances of the above-described event are sufficiently undetermined… as to warrant further investigation. No claims will be paid under the above-referenced policy until our investigation is completed.” She glanced back up at me. “No payment?”
I nodded and took back the letter. “Unity Financial and I are both very, deeply concerned abouttheevent.But only one of us is equally concerned about how I’m going to exist if I don’t get paid in the next couple weeks.” I patted my flat stomach. “Have you heard of the ramen noodle diet? Because if it works, I’m gonna write a book about it. Make millions.”
Dana sighed sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Parks. It’s been a really nasty few weeks, hasn’t it?”
I fuckinghatedbeing pitied. “There are silver linings,” I assured her. “Finally have free time for, you know, sleeping. Relaxing. Meditation. All the stuff I kept putting off because I was too busy.”
Dana glanced around the nearly empty room and then back at the plants. “Uh huh,” she said again.
Back to that, huh?
Whatever.
Dana hesitated, just a little. “So. Um. I was chatting with your mom the other day.”
“Oh, God, Dana…” I shook my head. “Please tell me you told herno commentwhen she asked about me.”
“Your mom and I are friendly!” Dana said reprovingly. “I’m not gonna lie to her. She’s really hoping you’re gonna come down for a visit, and it seems like a darn good idea to me. I love O’Leary, but Arizona sounds real nice about now.” She cast a glance out the window, where the darkness beyond her reflection hid a thick coating of ice and a chilly winter wind. “Palm trees? Condo on the golf course? Sipping margaritas in the hot tub? Those pictures your mom sent when they first moved down last winter were pretty spectacular. If my Rena weren’t a martyr to prickly heat, I’d have dragged her off to Paradise Valley in a heartbeat.”
“Yeah, they seem happy,” I agreed with zero enthusiasm. “The pictures are gorgeous.”
“So why not go?”
“I’ve thought about it.” Hell, I’d thought about a lot of things. I just hadn’t decided on any damn thing yet, because I had to wait for other people—like Dennis Rodman, for example—to make their decisions first. “My mom keeps trying to hook me up with my dad’s podiatrist.”
“Well, there you go! Date lined up already! Do you guys have a lot in common?”
“Besides being gay? Not a damn thing, that I know of. I think he’s, like, fifty and spends his days looking at people’s feet.” I shuddered.
Dana’s lips twitched and I felt my face heat. Dana had to be at least fifty. Her wife was even older.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with being fifty. O-or feet,” I added in a rush. “Many of my favorite people have them.”
“Nice save.” Dana laughed. “And what does your dad say about her setting you up?”
“Eh. He turns up whatever conservative pundit is on TV and pretends he can’t hear her.”
She laughed again, ruefully this time. “Yup. Sounds like Lance, alright.”
“Doesn’t it? And then she tells me that he's losing his hearing, and going senile, and having daily heart palpitations because he's missing hisonly sonso much."
“Lance?” Dana asked. “But he plays golf all day every day.”
“Oh, I know. And he's never missed me a day in his life either.” I rolled my eyes. “My mother eats drama for breakfast, Dana. You know this.”
It was no coincidence that I’d moved back to O’Learyaftermy parents had moved to Arizona. We loved each other better from two thousand miles away.
I sighed. “I’m just… not sure I’m ready to leave O’Leary for good.”
“No!” Dana said, laying a hand on my bare arm before quickly pulling it away. “No, honey, don’t misunderstand. I’dneverwant you to leavepermanently. This is your home! Just, you know, maybe go for a visit. Until things settle down around here.”
I sighed and dropped back down on the end of the bed.
The thing was, I knew it wouldn’tbejust a visit. I wouldn’t stay in Paradise Valley with the golf lovers, that was for damn sure, but if I left O’Leary again, with no bar, and no money, and no dream to come back for, there’d be nothing tethering mehereany longer either. There’d be nothing tethering meanywhere. And that was scary as fuck.
