My breath caught.
I leaned over him, bracing my hands on the floor on either side of his head, and I leaned down to brush our lips together. It was electric—every time, always, inevitably—but there was a bittersweetness to it now. Parker wasn’t leaving, and neither was I, but it almost felt like things were ending.
And maybe that had been inevitable too.
Everything good ended.
At least this time, I could say goodbye.
“You know what I want?” I said against his lips. “I want something we’ve never had before. Not with each other.”
We’d talked around this once, weeks before, right after the storm, but neither of us had ever brought it up again. Maybe Parker, like me, had felt like it would be too much—too intimate, too final. Now, though, I craved that. Something I would remember forever.
“Yeah.” Parker swallowed and nodded. “We can do that.”
I pulled back a little and there was a little trepidation in his eyes, but resignation too. “You scared?”
He shook his head. “I’m not exactly a blushing virgin, Jameson. I play with a toy… kind of a lot, actually, when I jerk off.”
Andholy shit, that was enough to get my heart beating faster.
“Besides, I’ve bottomed before,” he continued. “Topped too. I like both.” He shrugged, and it made my heart squeeze with something that wasn’t jealousy but deeper. More like regret. “We’ll just go slow.”
“Really slow.” I cleared my throat. “Because Iama virgin. When it comes to bottoming, anyway. I’m gonna try not to blush but no promises.”
Parker’s eyes widened, but his gaze got more intense. “You?”
“Me.”
I pushed to my feet and held out a hand so I could pull him to his feet. “But I think I’d like my first time to be in my bed. With lube.” I grinned.
Parker let me pull him up, but when I tried to tow him to our…my… room, he resisted. “Are you sure, Jamie? This is… I mean, it’s not necessarily a big deal, but…” He bit his lip. “It also is.”
I nodded. “Yeah. So, come on. Show me what I’ve been missing.”
But when I led him to the bedroom, turned on the light, and pulled down the quilt on the bed, I pushedhimonto the mattress before he could say a word and laughed when he bounced.
I pulled each of his sneakers off and threw them over the bed in an arc so they landed on the floor.
“Hey, careful. Those are still the only shoes I own,” he reminded me.
“Your side of the bed is the land where clothes go to perish.” I pulled his feet apart so I could stand between his legs and stare down at him, all golden and gorgeous against the white sheets. “Shoes too.”
“Not true.” He pushed himself up on his elbows.
“So true. We have a hamper.” I tilted my head towards the wicker basket near the door, just in case he might have missed it.
“That’s your fault,” Parker challenged. “I’m ordinarily a very tidy person. Butyouthrow my clothes everywhere. Seems likeyoushould pick them up.”
“Is that so?” I leaned down to place a kiss to his stomach, feeling his muscles tense and quiver beneath my lips.
“It is. Case in point, where is my shirt? Hmm? It’s been like this since I moved in. My wardrobe has suffered, but I try not to complain.” He gave a put-upon sigh, and I found myself laughing.
“I see I have a lot to answer for,” I agreed solemnly. I trailed my mouth up his chest, kissing a tiny birthmark, nipping at a little pink scar, licking the curve of his ribs, mapping the unique topography of Parker, committing every millimeter to memory.
“I… feel very forgiving suddenly,” Parker said, and I laughed again.
It had always been this way. How had I ever forgotten? It was so easy between us—the fire and the laughter, thelove—that I could almost believe it could be this way forever, that I couldwillit to be this way.
