“And you’re okay with the whole world knowing you’re… withme?”
“O’Leary has known we were together for a long while now,” I reminded him. “And that was my idea. I’mhappyfor everyone to know we’re together. Especially if it means no more texts from Curtis,” I addedsourly.
“Right.” Julian narrowed his eyes. “Okay, since you bring that up… What the hell happened the othernight?”
I stretched my neck against the sudden tension. “What happened was that I was jealous. Totally, sickeningly jealous. You called itright.”
“But yousaid—”
“I know what I said.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I have a terrible track record with relationships, Julian. Terrible. Abysmal. Worse than I am atwhittling.”
“Not that I’ve seen that to judge,” he saidwryly.
“I’m scared of what a real relationship with you would mean. I’m scared I’ll fuck something upagain.”
“You’rescared?”
“Uh,yeah.” I snorted. “Jesus. You have no idea howmuch.”
“I might have some.” His lips tipped up a tinybit.
“You’re my best friend. And I can’t go ten minutes without wanting you. Not just for sex, though… I mean, yeah, that too.” Julian’s smile widened. “I just want to be with you, to talk to you. Do you know that listening to you talk is a huge turn on forme?”
“You’ve mentioned it,” he whispered, wonder in his tone. It sounded like he was still having trouble believing it, andfuckdid I want to show him the truth of itrightnow.
But no. This was talkingtime.
Though it would be followed quickly by other stuff if I had myway.
“You haveno idea,” Irepeated.
“So what does that mean in terms of us being in a… relationship?” he asked in a strangledvoice.
And okay, the questions were getting progressively harder now, because I had no idea whathewanted, and admitting what I wanted felt like walking on atightrope.
Over acanyon.
In thewind.
But this was Julian, and if there was anyone I could do this for, it washim.
“You’re my best friend,” I said again. “And I’m attracted to you. And I’d prefer to keep the physical side of this. And I’m not great with labels. So we can call it whatever you want, whatever you’re comfortable with,” Ihedged.
“I’m not comfortable being friends with benefits anymore,” Julian said flatly. “That’s for people who… who lack the balls to admit they have feelings for eachother.”
I blinked. “Okay.”
“I’d like us to be dating. I’d like us to be boyfriends for real,” he said confidently, like he was laying down terms for surrender. But his breathing was just a little fast, his eyes just a little too wide. I’d bet anything that his pulse was running a mile aminute.
“Yeah, I’d like that too,” I agreed. “It hasn’t felt fake since… well,ever.”
“Holy shit.” Julian ran his palm over his forehead. “Itworked.”
“What worked?” I asked, pulling his hand away and holding ontoit.
He shook his head and one corner of his mouth twitched as he looked up at me. He squeezed my hand. “Asking. I, um, talked to Parker Hoffstraeder yesterday. About us. About how I could fix things between us. He said it’d be as easy as askingyou.”
“Nah, it’s not easy to talk about this stuff.” I brought up my other hand and clasped nape of his neck. He shifted on the sofa to face me. “Shit, Julian. There’s nothing harder. You might have noticed I’m allergic toit.”
