“No,” I whispered. “It’s not like that. It’s just… we’rejust…”
“Friends with benefits?” he saidsagely.
“Where the heck did you hear thatphrase?”
He rolled his eyes. “We have internet here, Ev. As youknow.”
Ev. It occurred to me belatedly that I’d never heard him call me by my nickname. Were we friends now, just like him andDaphne?
“I have a story I wanna tell you,” he said, sitting backcomfortably.
“Grandpa, we really need to go.” I pointed lamely at the door that leddownstairs.
“Then stop interrupting, so it can be afaststory,” he retorted. “And sit down. You’re making menervous.”
I threw my head back and huffed a sigh at the ceiling, then flopped on thesofa.
“Your Grandma Anna and I,” hebegan.
“Oh, Grandpa, please. I do not want to hear how your relationship with Grandma Anna has anything to do with me andSilas.”
He hmphed. “It doesn’t have a goddamn thing to do with that, far as I know. I dropped a rock on her head when I was six and she was seven, she cried, and I kissed her so she wouldn’t tattle on me.” He smirked. “You’re a little old to be throwing rocks,Everett.”
I snorted. “Sorry. Tell me yourstory.”
“Well, like I was saying, I can’t remember a time when I was ever without her. Good or bad. I knew her way back when she was in pigtails, and she knew me when I was a brash young idiot who spoke before hethought…”
“Way back then?” I echoed, raising one eyebrow, and to my surprise, helaughed.
“That hasn’t changed, I’ll grant you.” His smile turned a little melancholy. “I loved her so long, I can’t even tell you when it started, Everett. She wasn’t just the love of my life, shewasmy life. Everything good in it, anyway. Gave me two daughters I’m proud of, made me a beautiful home, smiled at me every day in that way she had that made the day sunny even when it damn well wasn’t. Youknow?”
I thought of Silas, God help me, and I knew exactly what Grandpa meant. And then I felt a pang of guilt so acute I actually clutched my stomach because it should have been Adrian's face I saw. Itshould.
I was sofucked.
I'd thought I could do this thing with Silas without having it tear me up inside, but it turned out I couldn't. The last three weeks had been the most incredible of my life, but that didn’t negate the fact that I owed Adrian my loyalty. And the deeper things with Silas got, the guiltier I felt that I was forgetting him. Letting someone take hisplace.
I wasn't giving Silas what heneeded.
I wasn't giving Adrian what hedeserved.
And I was being split intwo.
“When my Anna died, I was broken, Everett. God, I missed her so bad. Most of my life kept right on going — the shop, the bills, hunting in the fall and tending her roses in the spring, but there was no sunshine in it anymore forme.”
I nodded. I knew exactlywhat he meant.Exactly. I had vivid memories of being surrounded by a hundred Milky Way wrappers last Halloween, sick to my stomach and feeling like life would never be funagain.
And it hadn't been, really. UntilSi.
“Then one day, I was pruning those damn plants and my knees ached somethingfierce… not that there’s anything wrong with my knees,” he assured mequickly.
“Right. Of coursenot.”
“And all of a sudden, I could hear your grandmother’s voice in my ear, like she was standing right beside me.Henry, she said, I love you and I alwayswill.”
I bit my lip and frowned, remembering how I’d once wanted Adrian to haunt me. It felt like I hadn't thought that in a longtime.
“And then she said,But you’re a damn fool, tending these roses when you never gave a shit about roses in yourlife.”
