Silas
My stomach churnedas I waited for Ev to say something. Anything. God, I really, really hated this stuff. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so vulnerable, and vulnerable was not remotelycomfortable.
What I'd said to him was the absolute truth: I was already too into him to turn back, and I’d realized it about ten seconds after my weak-ass bullshit had caused him to flee thebar.
I’d drowned my sorrows in three more beers with Dare, then let him take me home and pour me into bed. I vaguely remembered begging him to get me Reggie’s number, and him laughing in my face and telling me Reggie’s number was the last thing Ineeded.
Turned out he was right. The next day, I’d woken up nauseous, and not from the beer but from the memory of the expression on Everett's face as he’d walked out. That hadn’t been the face of a guy who didn’t give a shit about me, plain andsimple.
And I was a punk-ass weakling who’d hurt a good man because I was afraid I was fallingalone.
Maybe Ev was right and I needed to change the way I looked at things, because sometimes lately, it seemed like I put two and two together and got five and ahalf.
Ev licked his lips and my whole body swayed toward him, just as it always had from literally the first minute we’dmet.
I didn’t believe in fate or destiny, but there was something about this connection between us that could maybe change my mind. Every time one of us stepped back, something pulled us togethertighter.
“So, let’s just say I was convinced to forgive you,” Ev whispered. He lifted his hands to my wrists where they rested against his waist and neck. “What would that mean?” He swallowed. “Forus.”
“Whatever you need it to mean,” I answered promptly. I’d thought of this, too. “I get that you’re here temporarily, and don’t know if you’re ready for a… a relationship, or a friendship, or something in between, but I’ll try to go along with whatever youwant.”
“So if I said I wanted to step back? To just befriends?”
Goddamn it. I’d snuck that in there, hoping he wouldn’tnotice.
“Then I guess that’s what we’ll be,” I said. I brushed my thumb over his cheek, just memorizing the feeling of it. “We can hang out. Maybe, um… hike and stuff.” I tried for a normal smile. “Watch football, since you seemed so intrigued by it the otherday.”
Ev smiled. “Wow.”
“Wow?”
“That’s adorable. You, pretending to make an effort. I’d rate it a B. You’re very sweet, but there’s a distinct lack ofenthusiasm.”
“Are you seriously giving me shit for this?” Iasked.
His green eyes danced. “I’m just thinking it’s a good thing I don’t just want friendship from you.” He lifted himself on his tiptoes and his mouth was so very close to mine. “I want to go slow because… well, last time I jumped too fast, and I guess I wasn’tready.”
“Right. Yeah, totally.” Relief flooded my system, filling up all the dark places where my doubts had taken root. “As slow as you want. Just… just as long as I know you’re in this with me. That you feel thistoo.”
Ev smiled. “Yeah, I'm withyou.”
“Good.” I forced myself to release him, to take a step back so I wouldn’t crowd him. Slow, he’d said, and this time I was determined to make sure it happened that way. “So maybe we could get dinnersometime?”
Ev chewed on his lip and studied my face thoughtfully. “What are you doing rightnow?”
“Uh. Nothing, really.” I looked down at my uniform and then at Ev’s button-down shirt and khaki pants. “What did you have inmind?”
“Well, I thought maybe we could just hang out. Do something relaxing. You look like you needit.”
“Wanna go for ahike?”
His eyes widened. “Uh, no way. Listen, you can say what you like about the disappearances not being connected to the woods, but I don’t think I’ll be spending much time there until John Carpenter and Elliot Marks arefound.”
“So where should we gothen?”
He smiled, soft and mischievous. “I have an idea,” hesaid.
* * *
