“Ifyousay so, Si, I guess we have to believe you.” Karen pursed her lips as she stood. “But in the meantime, I’m taking precautions, and I’m advising other people in town to do thesame.”
She swept out of the bakery and after a quick, apologetic glance at all of us, Mackie followed afterher.
“I’m beginning to doubt that she’s good for Mackie,” Cal said, gritting his teeth as he watched her exit. “Or foranyone.”
Ash stood and walked behind Cal’s chair to rub his shoulders. “I know, babe.” He bent to kiss Cal’s cheek, but Cal stood before hecould.
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable making our relationship public until we’re married, Ashley. You understand,right?”
Ash shook his head and grabbed Cal by the arm, pulling him close. “What I understand is that I couldn’t love you more deeply or permanently if we were married for a million years. And little Bronson or Banger is going to fucking love you, too, almost asmuch.”
Cal took a deep breath and softened against Ash’s chest. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Cal lifted a hand to stroke Ash’s cheek. “I made a batch of that cold vegetable soup you like. I’ll get yousome.”
Ash nodded and gave him a smile that suggested the soup was more precious thanrubies.
“Caelan James, you are fuckingdomesticated,” Si said with a grin. “I didn’t think you knew how toeatvegetables, let alone cookthem.”
Cal raised one middle finger in the air, but didn’t look away from Ash. “I’d do a hell of a lot more than that to keep him happy. Not all of us are commitment phobic,Silas.”
“Hey!” Si scowled. “I’m not commitment phobic. I’m commitmentcautious. If I ever fall for someone, I'll shout it from the mountains. But until then, I don't need O'Leary speculating about my life any more than they already do.” He turned to me and explained, “The town's memory is longer than an elephant's. At the Summer Picnic, Nessa Corcoran asked me why I'd ever broken up withthat nice Asa Liu, because we made such acute couple. Asa moved away ten yearsago!”
I smiledwanly.
“You used to be the same way, Cal,” Silas insisted. “Remember?”
“Not really,” Cal said, shaking his head and smiling tenderly at Ash. “I can’t really remember that at allanymore.”
Si made a gaggingnoise.
“All you have to do to keep me happy is be happy yourself,” Ash said in a lowvoice.
I stood abruptly. “Listen, it’s been so great meeting you all, but I really have to…” I hooked a thumb over my shoulder. “Thanks again for the…” I motioned at myplate.
“Ev? You okay?” Si asked, frowning atme.
I nodded. “Oh, God, yes. Fine. Just, you know…” And I bolted out of the bakery as fast as my injured leg could carryme.
I wasnotokay. Watching Cal and Ash together — talking with their eyes, joking and offering one another comfort in a language only they understood — I was jealous. Disgustingly, viciously, chest-meltingly jealous. And as I hobbled across the street and climbed up the stairs to my grandfather’s apartment, I found myself crying harder than I had since… well, since two nightsago.
What the fuck was wrong with me? No tears for months and then suddenly,whoosh, my tears were overflowing like a goddamn river and I was drowning inthem.
And the worst part, the most terrible, shameful part, was that I wasn’t crying because Ash and Cal had something I’dlost— hell, I couldn’t remember Adrian and I ever having that effortless shorthand. Maybe we hadn’t been together long enough, or maybe we’d communicated in differentways.
Instead, I was crying because they had something Iwanted. Wanted for myself, in a future that wouldn’t,couldn’t, include Adrian. And that simply wasn’tright.
Someday I would be the last person on earth who remembered Adrian’s laugh or the curve of his cheek when he smiled. He’d died, and I’d lived, and I owed it to him to never forget all the things I’d loved about him, not to let anyone else usurp him in mymind.
I could fuckingfeelthat very thing happening already. Silas Sloane, with his gorgeous smile and his kind blue eyes, with his snarky humor and his full mouth that twitched up at the side when I said something ridiculous, wasdangerous.He could make me forget; he certainly made me wish Icould.
Which meant somehow I had to avoid Silas Sloane for the next ten months in a town the size of a prisoncell.
I sat down on the step and held my face in myhands.
How hard could thatbe?
