“Once again, I call bullshit. You can always break through. And I’m worried about him, Drew. Really worried. His spiraling isn’thealthy.”
Drew sighed and met Cam’s eyes. “I haven’t talked to him sinceNovember.”
“I knew there was something brewing the last time we met. You were both so pissy.” Cam got quiet for a second. “But thatlong?”
“Yep. He even sends his work-related communications through Margaret,” Drewconfirmed.
“What the hell did you two fightabout?”
Drew chuckled, once. He had no intention of sharing the particulars with Cam, but… “We didn’tfight. We never do. Bas just…disappears.”
Cam sighed. “He missesyou.”
“Really? Odd, because here I am!” Drew waved a hand in the air above his head. “In my office. With my working phone.” He lifted his cell off the desk and gestured with it. “Not avoiding calls or texts. So he could stop missing me anytime hewanted.”
Cam ignored Drew’s rant. “At Christmas, he kept hoping you’d show up. He sat in the living room with us, but he kept checking the door and looking at his phone. He was like a sad little island off to one side who refused to interact except to ask for another drink. And he was drinkingvodka,Drew. You know he only drinks the hard stuff when he’s seriouslyupset.”
A pulse of guilt made his stomach churn, and Drew hated it. Hated that he felt responsible when he hadn’t been the one to pull away… and hated that Sebastian was unhappy without Drew to help him through it, even as afriend.
“Then why didn’t he call?” Drew demanded, but even as he said the words, he knew theanswer.
Cam raised one eyebrow, and Drew nodded, rolling hiseyes.
“He’s so fucking stubborn,” Drewsaid.
“He is. And it’s more than that,youknow it. He doesn’t always have the easiest time understanding where people are coming from. You think it’s obvious that he could have called you at any time, but maybe he just didn’t know how tobegin!”
“I’ll think about it,” Drew said, rolling his eyes at himself. He’d given Peter pretty much the same answer aboutMark.
“Good. Because we need to put all of this stuff aside and figure out how we’re going to handleSILA.”
“Has something new happened?” Drew asked,frowning.
“Not that I know of. It’s just… I feel like we’ve been sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop. Last time we met at your house after Thanksgiving, Cain said his father had warned Alexei that he wasn’t to come afterus.”
“Right,” Drew agreed. “That he had plenty of info on SILA and wouldn’t hesitate to turn it over to the authorities if Alexei made a move againstus.”
“Yeah, but do you really think that’s going to hold him off for long?” Cam demanded. “Do you really think SILA isn’t planning a way to get around that? Or just plain threatening to kill the Shaw family if Senator Shaw doesn’t fall back in line? How long can we trust our safety to EmmettShaw?”
“We can’t. We always knew it was a temporary peace,” Drew said, tapping his pen on thedesk.
“Right. And for Bas, it wasn’t eventhat. He’s so damn guilty, like it washisfault they all died since it washisengagement we were all going to celebrate, that he’s probably working round the clock on this. And I’m worried he’s going to getcareless.”
“Bas doesn’t do careless,” Drew said, but he couldn’t deny that his own worry was kicking up several notches at Cam’swords.
“Fine, not careless. Risky. Something that might alert Alexei thatwearen’t just sitting around waiting for them to get bored and come atus.”
Drew nodded. It was distinctlypossible.
“We all need be on the same page.” Cam ran a hand through his hair, his blue eyes troubled. “And we need to end this once and for all. There’s a horrible cloud looming over all of us, and we’re waiting for the storm to unleash. It’s no way to live a life, when you can’t plan your future more than a couple of weeks in advance. I have this man by my side who’s more amazing than I ever could have imagined. I want to plan a life for us, and I don’t want to waste another single day worrying about criminals and conspiracies. I want dogs and kids Cort can spoil and protect. I want Bas to start working on AI so he can finallybuilda woman who can put up with his moodybullshit.”
Drewlaughed.
“And I want you to meet some hot guy who gets hard from listening to NPR like you seem to,” Cam continued with a grin. “Someone you can lean on and build a life with, where your primary job isn’t worrying about Bas and the rest of us. I want us all to move on,together,and to do that, we have to work together to get past all the stuff that’s keeping us in suspendedanimation.”
Suspended animation.Just like this depressing week between week in between holidays. Just like the past fifteen years of wanting a man who could never lovehim.
Andwhoa. Those words hit him like a blow to the solarplexus.
