“Seriously, is this what you’ve been torturing yourself with?”
“Yes! God, Damon. Imagine my father ruining things for Jesse, hurting him just becauseone time,like,six years ago the guy kissed me! I can’t let that happen.”
“Cain. Cain, that’scrazy.” He grabbed Cain’s shoulders and shook him lightly. “You’re not a high-school kid anymore, baby. You can change things.”
Cain shook his head, clearly locked into his own inner story. So freakin’ stubborn.
Damon slammed a hand on the center console, and Cain’s eyes flew to his.
“This is fucking ridiculous, Cain. Call Sebastian Seaver right this second. Find out if he needs some new marketing expert on his team. I will fucking guarantee you that he will say yes in a heartbeat. Inless than a heartbeat.Christ, he made up a whole newdivisionso he could give Cort a job. He’ll do whatever it takes to get you to come forward about your father. And then he’ll get Jesse round-the-clock protection, or relocate him to Timbuktu.”
“Damon, you still don’t get it. I can’t ask Bas to do that.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Because it’smy fault! It’s onme! I am the one who needs to fix it.”
“That’s stupid, Cain.”
“Damon…”
“You’re telling me it’s more important for you to handle this than for me to get my life back?” he demanded. “Because I don’t think you really believe that. Not anymore.”
Cain’s eyes widened and filled with tears. “I know. Iknow. I have already thought of that so many times. Your freedom or his, your life or his. You have every reason to hate me. I don’t blame you.”
“I don’t hate you! Christ Almighty, Cain. I don’t hate you, I fucking… Icare about you,”he said, mentally backing away from the word he had been on verge of blurting out. It was way too early for the L-word to make an appearance, especially when so many things were unresolved. “I care about you, and I don’t want you torturing yourself when it would be so easy to let peoplehelp.”
Tears tracked down Cain’s cheeks and Damon caught them with his thumbs. “How is that possible? How is it possible that you can care about me when all I’ve done is mess things up for you and make your life harder?”
“Chelsea told me the first step to trusting someone wasdecidingto trust them,” Damon told him, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Cain’s lips and another to his temple. And he was really, really glad he’d listened to her.
“I just… I am so tired, Damon.”
“I know you are, baby,” Damon said, leaning over the fucking stupid console as far as possible so he could take Cain in his arms, cradling Cain’s head against his shoulder. “I know you are.” He ran his hands up and down Cain’s back in a soothing motion.
“I will help you protect Jesse, even though he’s an asshole,” Damon promised, and Cain’s watery chuckle made his arms squeeze tighter. God, he wanted to protect Cain from everything. “But you have to trust me to help you. And believe that you deserve better than to torture yourself this way. You’ve done nothing wrong by being gay, Cain. Nothing wrong by falling in love with a boy who didn’t deserve you. It’s not your fault your dad is the way he is. It’s not your fault Jack conned you, because he did the same fucking thing to me. Do you hear me? Do youbelieveme?”
Cain nodded, a soft bump of his cheek against Damon’s chin. But then he added more firmly, “I believe you.”
“Okay. Okay then. Here’s what we’re going to do…”
