“You disgust me! I can’t believe you’re sitting here putting your indiscretions on me! I admit, we haven’t had intercourse, but what’s more important to you… to have sex or the safety of our baby?”
“Why would you bring our baby into this? That was a low blow.”
“No, what’s the low blow is I still do things to please you, and every time you cum, yet you’re saying I don’t satisfy you.”
“You really think a hand job and blow job gon’ be enough for a grown ass man in his sexual peak?” I asked, looking at her like she was slow. “I’m a damn man that loves to fuck tight, wet pussy, and you of all people should know I have a high sex drive. We not doin’ this shit.”
“Interesting. It’s good to know that’s what you’re on. I guess I can’t do nothing but accept your honesty. Just know, sex with us is now off the table indefinitely ‘cause I didn’t sign up to sit back and get cheated on.”
Looking at Brandi like she had lost her mind, I waved our waiter over. When he made it to our table I asked if he could box up the rest of our food, ordered drinks and dessert to go and asked for my receipt. After I paid our bill plus left the tip in cash, I had to wait for our food. I didn’t respond right away to Brandi’s last statement because I needed to let what she justsaid sink in. I wanted to make sure I was clear on what she was implying because if that was the case, then she was about to wish she hadn’t given me the okay to act the fool.
A couple of minutes passed before our waiter made it back to our table and thanked me for the generous tip then handed me our bag of food.
“Do you need to use the washroom before we leave?”
With Brandi being pregnant, it seemed the further along she got the more she had to use the bathroom. Not responding to me but shaking her head no, we proceeded to leave the restaurant then head for my car. As I drove to take her home, the ride started out in silence, and just when I was hoping that it would stay that way, she started back on her bullshit again.
“So, you don’t have anything else to say?”
“Look, you said a mouthful back at the restaurant, and all I’m tryin’ to do is not react and respond without thinkin’ it out.”
“You really think I’m supposed to be okay with you fucking around with some young ass chick, while I’m currently carrying our baby and at high risk!”
“She’s in her twenties, so chill on that. It was never my intention to bring you any drama. I won’t let that happen again as much as I can control. At the end of the day, none of the chicks I fuck mean shit to me, but if you feel the way you feel about it, then we gon’ have to agree to disagree. You not fuckin’ me now, so if you cut the sex off, nothin’ really changes between us. The only woman I love is you, regardless of what goes down between us. You’re the mother of my shorty, I will never love another female the way I love you. If you can’t take me fuckin’ bitches to get a nut off when I don’t have no love for any of those hoes, then I don’t know what to say. It’s only sex with them, nothin’ else. They serve one purpose, and that’s for me to buss a nut. There’s no emotional attachment whatsoever. If anything, I was hopin’ you would understand which is why I told you the truth. I couldhave lied to you, but I didn’t. Shit, if I was in a situation where I was down bad, I would expect for you to get your needs fulfilled.”
I could tell that Brandi was in deep thought about what I was saying. What was hard for me to tell was if she was pissed or if she agreed. Her silence about it was making me feel uncomfortable so I continued hoping I would say something that would spark a response from her.
“I love you, Brandi, you should know that because I take good care of you. I moved you out of that lil’ bitty ass apartment you had when we met, got you a new whip, furniture, clothes, and I keep your bank account sitting pretty. There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for you and my shorty. But it’s cool if you don’t understand I have needs that need to be filled. I’d rather us know now that we not gon’ work out then after our shorty gets here. That way we can work out our kinks so we can co-parent ‘cause I’m not budgin’ on how I feel and what I want.”
“What exactly are you saying you want?” She asked as we came to a red light down the street from her house.
“I’m saying I want you to be my lady and be there with you and my shorty, but it’s gon’ have to be on a co-parenting basis unless you can be chill about what I do on the side. I feel like, due to the current situation, as long as I don’t get anyone pregnant or bring you any more trouble you shouldn’t really trip.”
I could feel Brandi staring a hole into the side of my face. Quickly glancing her way, I needed to see if she was buying what I was saying or ready to go upside my head. I needed to know if I should brace myself or not from a physical attack although I felt that what I was saying was pretty reasonable.
“Just so I’m clear, you want me to be cool with you having side chicks?” Brandi chuckled. From her voice I could tell she was upset. Maybe more hurt than angry.
“Not necessarily side chicks. It’s more like occasional hook ups.”
“How many girls you fuckin’ on, Reggie?”
“You makin’ it seem like I’m runnin’ around bein’ a hoe,” I responded, giving her the side eye. “It’s not even like that. I don’t have a list or no shit.”
“I don’t know. Like, why did it take for that girl to confront you for you to tell me all of this? If you’ve been feeling like this why haven’t you told me this sooner? So, if ol’ girl hadn’t approached us today then what? ‘Cause according to you, your intentions were to fuck her. I guess I want to know at what point was you gon’ tell me?”
“Good question.” I stalled for time to come up with a response. “I didn’t want to stress you out so to answer you honestly, I don’t know. I’m not gon’ lie though. I do feel at some point I would have come out and told you.”
“Yeah, but when? ‘Cause I believe you wouldn’t have said shit if that girl hadn’t let herself be known, but it’s cool. You definitely just gave me a lot to think about. Is this why you don’t want to move in with me?”
Everything Brandi just said was facts. “To be honest, it’s part of the reason, yes. I can say that if sex hadn’t been cut off I more than likely wouldn’t have felt the urge to step out because I would be able to get it whenever I want. The fear you have of miscarriage I get, but at the same time that stitch you got according to the doctor made it safe for us to resume sex. The fact that you aren’t willing to compromise, solidified for me that movin’ in wouldn’t have been a wise decision.”
We continued to go back and forth for a minute. She was adamant on the fact that I shouldn’t be entertaining other women just because of the condition that she was in, but eventually I was able to get her to see where I was coming from. By the time I made it to her house and had pulled into her driveway, we decided to put our relationship status ascomplicated and on some ice for the time being. At least until after she had our baby.
We agreed that I would still be there for her during her pregnancy, but since she was not open to us having sex and was sure that she wouldn’t be changing her mind any time soon she had no choice but to agree to me fucking around with other women. As long as it went no further than sex. I couldn’t get any girls pregnant, and it couldn’t be with anybody she personally knew. I couldn’t flaunt them around the town for her or people they knew to see, catching feelings for them was off limits. It had to be sex only, and I promised to not to get emotionally attached to any females.
I knew I was skating on thin ice with hot rollerblades because I was messing around with her sister. When she mentioned it couldn’t be with someone she knew, Deja’s face popped into my mind. That was something I was going to have to make sure she never found out. Deja was starting to get a little attached. I figured now would be a great time to chill on hooking up with her so much.
What happened today made me have more love and respect for Brandi. She proved to me that she was a true rider. It was sexy how she was down for her man no matter the cost. It took a grown ass woman to be confident and secure enough to be cool with her man fucking other chicks. To be honest, I was surprised that she didn’t try to kill me when I came clean about Tatiana. She took the shit, pulled up her big girl draws, and played the fuck out of her part.
