“Love me?” her warm voice mixes with mine.
“Ido. I’m starting to think you underestimate how much…”
my voice gravels.
Met with what felt like the most internally draining sigh, she leaned forward and lifted her palm to my cheek, caressing it.
She then kissed my cheek, cutting it close to my lips, lingering there, and leaving me empty once her lips parted from my face.
“I love you too,” she sighs again, “We should get ready for this camping trip. I almost forgot about it.”
I forget everything when you’re present, join the club.
“Right.” My chin creeps down to my chest, and so does her hand, which she rubs softly until it falls away.
Fucking politics and camping.Somuch more exciting than this.
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PAISLEY
Going camping is much more than starting your fires and building tents. I’ll admit, as an adolescent, Ididgo through a pyromania phase. So, the fire is still at the top of the list of things I highly enjoy, but I think I found something that tops that. Rock collecting! I think it could be one of my greatest hobbies thus far, and I came highly prepared to prove that point. Only two jars could fit in my bags—I would’ve fit more if I could’ve,trustme, I did. The least I could do was leave room for all my skin products.
Camping is supposed to be fun and light-hearted. That’s what my dad always taught me. He encouraged my exploration and even joined me sometimes. In exchange, I learned how to fish and cook meat on a rock, which has gotten me far in life. It’s rewarding not to be a closeminded, calorie-counting know-it-all. The tricky part is becoming better at it than a man, and I can’t always depend on a certain specific one for 172
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all of my freeloading forest tricks. I don’t even know if I can rely on my dad as long as Josh is around.
Idolove that Josh has morphed into this environmentally gracious being. I’ve been thinking recently that this might be his peak in life, and as outrageous as my recent achievements have been, he’s not far behind me in the success department.
Peaks can last a long time—forever even, but I’ve been so focused on myself that I’m forgetting to remind him to focus, too. If I’m going away, shouldn’t he deserve to do something with his time, too? It’s only fitting to consider what he wants.
Something that Nick never did for me, that I refuse to turn around and do to the only man that’s given a shit for so long.
Watching him put the tent together with Rich and John feels like watching magic Mike and the two stooges. No offense to Rich, considering Josh gets most of his looks from him, but Josh is obviously the eye candy here. He makes everything look so easy, lifting all of the heavy bags and equipment for everyone. It’s courteous. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone make it look as sexy as he does, though. What makes it different is the bona fide authenticity that his entire existence exudes when he’s playing the good guy. He’s neither bitter nor dishonest and truly seems pleased with himself.
There’s something absurdly attractive about a man being able to care. It’s incredible when any man cares about anything, but I’m one of the lucky ones. From what I can see, he isn’t scared of anything in this world but is well-suited if he has to put his foot down. It’s even better knowing how gentle he is with me, and only me. After our talk this morning, he seems softer than I’ve known him to be before. I can’t read his mind, but I would love to know what’s happening up there.
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I’ve started to make a list of pros and cons. The pros are all the good things that could come from dating Josh for real, and the cons—well, there’s just one—long distance. The only thing between us is my trust, which isn’t as strong as I would like. I don’t understand why when he makes me feel so safe and untouchable. I’m already puking at the thought of someone else feeling the same way because of him. Watching Darcy indirectly flirt with him the whole way here was enough.
Since the guys were left with the setup and discussing campaign goals for the months ahead, it left us kids to do most of the camping. I made sure all of Josh’s things were put away in our tent, organized in a way where he could find everything he needed. He was sweet enough to put ours up first so I could change. It sucks to lower my pride for her, but I told Josh I would play nice with Darcy, so that was the plan. Starting with sunscreen. I had enough to keep us all lathered for a week straight, so offering some to her couldn’t be that treacherous.
“Hey, Darcy.” I dig my boots in the damped ground, arching over to her.
I said it loudly, and I’m confident in that, but this girl only hears what she wants to hear. Her red hair, gathered in a curly ponytail, whips in my direction as she turns around to look at me.
“Okay, I know you hate me and trust me, I am in a boat that isverysimilar to yours, but what if we got along? Sunscreen?”
Her makeup was fully done and sculpted—photoshoot ready, if you will. It amazes me the lengths she’ll go to be perfect. And here I am, stuffing powders under my boobs to try and avoid swampy boob syndrome for the next two days.
