I make a beeline to her, dropping my computer bag somewhere between the door and the sofa. Once I’m sitting on the cushion, she shifts to climb into my lap. It feels so effortless, soright. I can’t shake the thought that’s been hammering in my head.
Her forehead creases as she stares into my anxiety riddled face. “So…are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
I smile, loving how she can sense my apprehension without my saying a word. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”
“Well, you haven’t kissed me yet, for starters. Did something happen with the contract?”
“Nope. That’s all settled. I got everything I asked for, with a small caveat to step in if there’s an emergency.”
“Okay…so why do you look like you just signed away your smiling rights?” She reaches up and strokes my cheek. “Seeing those dimples is my favorite thing at the end of the day.”
My heart pounds as a handful of doubts smack me in the face. I pull her in for a kiss so she can’t see it in my eyes. She’s never once mentioned marriage, not even in passing. She owns her own business, her own home. Before the baby, she’d set herself up for alife on her own. It would make sense if she didn’t want to be tied down in that way.
Willa pulls away, placing a hand on my chest. “Why are you kissing me like that?”
“Like what?” I stall. I’m not ready for this make-or-break conversation, especially thebreaking. Not now, when we’re finally together.
“Like this is the last time you’ll ever kiss me.”
Shit. I drag a hand down my face. “Because it might be, and I’m scared shitless, Gem.” We said we’d be honest with each other. This is as honest as it gets. I kiss her again, but that hesitant palm on my chest pushes against me. She watches me, scrutinizing the sullen expression on my face as I trail my thumb across her cheekbone. “I want everything, Willa. Kids, a house, marriage. I want it all with you…”
She juts her head back. “Sweetheart, where is this coming from?”
“Me, mostly.” I let out a nervous laugh. “A couple people called you my wife at work today, and the thought has been festering ever since. It doesn’t need to be now, or anytime soon even, but I can’t shake how it felt hearing someone call you my wife. I crave you in a way I’ve never imagined was possible, but I just don’t know if that’s something you even want.”
With a pinched expression, she bites her lip. “It’s not that I don’t want it. I’ve just never…considered it…”
I tuck my chin, eyes dropping. That’s about what I figured, but the disappointment still twists like a switchblade to the gut. My eyes swirl around the narrow space between us as I reel in the pleading words forming behind my tongue. She’s made leaps and bounds for us to get to this point. I could try to convince her to consider it, but I respect her too much to pressure her like that. If it means keeping everything else just like it is now, maybe giving up the marriage thing could be okay.This can be enough for me.
Willa’s fingers slide up my jaw, and she presses a chaste kiss tomy lips. She smiles sweetly. “Until you, Tre. Never, until you. I have thoughts about it now, I’m just unsure of what they mean…”
“Yeah?” Hope springs inside me, just hearing she’s thought about it. She leaves another kiss on my lips, and I latch on for dear life.
“Someday,” she whispers, snuggling into me. That’s something I can hold on to. It’s tangible. Willa needs time. I can give her that.
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
WILLA
Islip my phone into my bag and gather the rest of my things from my work desk. My damn stomach knocks my water bottle to the floor, right next to the pen and notepad I dropped earlier. I’m almost thirty weeks pregnant, and bending over hurts. All that shit down there is dead to me now.My phone buzzes, and I check to see if it’s Trevor.
Ashlie
Mom wants to know if you’re going to breastfeed.
Me
Mom can take a flying leap.
Ashlie
You want me to tell her that?
Me
Nope. I’ll tell her when she gets the guts to call me.
The breakfast with my parents was a month ago. Dad’s gotten into the habit of checking in every Sunday, and I canreally see him putting in the kind of effort he never did before. Mom’s still on her bullshit. I can’t say I didn’t try.I’m going to be late.
