“Sister.” I nod, my face twisting quizzically. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
“Well, in that case, your flu should resolve in about nine months. Congratulations!” She hugs the clipboard to her chest, bouncing on her feet like she’s proud of her nonsensical diagnosis.
“What kind of flu is that?” I ask, glancing at Ashlie and back. Her mouth has dropped open as she stares at the doctor. It takes me a couple more seconds before it hits me.
Dr. Clifford tilts her head slightly. “You’re?—”
“Pregnant? No.” I scoff, batting away the completely ridiculous notion with a shake of my head. “I’m not.” My eyes search the doctor’s face for the joke. Ashlie put her up to this or something.
“Yep. It explains the fainting and your lowered blood pressure. Have you had any cravings? Weird tasting food?”
“No, because I’m not?—”
“Earlier she said her soda tasted like soap,” Ashlie says. I shoot her a wide-eyed threat.Narc.
“Ah, yeah, that can happen as hormones change. Cravings, altered taste, aversions. It’s all very normal for early pregnancy.”
“I’m not pregnant. I just had my period a week ago.”
“Mm-hmm, and was it lighter thanusual?”
“I—yes…”
“How long did it last?”
“Just a couple of days. But my periods are always short.” My voice lowers each time I open my mouth with a rebuttal. The checkered vinyl flooring blurs as my eyes rove, searching for the logical response I’m supposed to have. None of this makes any sense, and yet, it’s crystal clear.
“That’s all perfectly normal. Egg implantation can cause bleeding. Do you have an established OBGYN?”
My eyes lock onto my sister, whose face has gone pallid as she stares back at me. Hands shaking, I nod numbly at the doctor.
“Great! Follow up with your provider. They usually want you to wait until you’re eight to ten weeks along. Do you know when conception would have been?”
“Yes,” I whisper. I know exactly when. My birthday, after a night of unforgettable dick. I’ve tried to push all memories of that spontaneous night out of my head, as well as the man responsible for them. That’s how a one-night stand is supposed to go. You have an out-of-character, earthquaking, body trembling experience, and leave it there. Trevor’s the only man I’ve been with in months. He’s the only one it could be, and now, he’s responsible for so much more than memories.
“Good. I’ll let you gather your things. Just check out at the front desk when you’re ready. And congratulations, mama!” The doctor closes the door, leaving me shocked and petrified as the weight of her words settles in around me.Mama?No. That title has no place in this room. Mama is a woman back home, who’s disappointed in everything I do. Mama is critical and callous. Mama is the only example I have of motherhood, and I don’t want to be anything like her.
I’m still clutching the bag of crackers, now pulverized from my grip as I tremble on the paper-topped table. My eyes track the cracks on the floor tiles. I almost forget I’m not alone when Ashlie touches my arm.
“Wills, is it Carter’s?”
“Huh?”
“Carter. Is he the…?”
A tear falls down my cheek as I shake my head. And then another. My breath hitches in my throat several times. I can’t control it, nor the pressure in my chest squeezing tighter by the second.Me,pregnant? This can’t be happening. I drop the crackers and knock my phone off the exam table, trying to catch them.A solo trip to Europe. That’s what I’m supposed to be planning for right now. Just me, my camera, and the breathtaking views overseas.
And now,a baby.
I look at my sister with wide eyes, and she smooths her hand down my back, saying something I can’t hear. My stomach heaves. The buzzing in my ears grows with the need to run and hide, but my body is trapped in place.
“Willa, hey. You’re panicking. Look at me.” She boxes my head in her hands, forcing me to look into her eyes. “Just breathe. Follow me. In through the nose. Out through the mouth…again. In…out. Good.” The calm in her stare is my only lifeline right now. I don’t dare look away. She pulls me off the table and leads me to the sink. Cold water flows over my fingers when she plunges them under the stream. The room finally eases back into focus, but she keeps my hands underwater until my breathing slows.
Pregnant?With a baby?
Water flings in the air as I turn and cling to her, violent sobs racking my body.
“Hey, you’re okay. It’s okay.” She rubs my back, wrapping her comfort around me while I process how this could have happened.We were safe.We used protection.This shouldn’t be happening. I’m supposed to be saving for a once-in-a-lifetime excursion through Europe, not diapers and wipes.
