“This explains so much about you, and I hate that you had to go through that,” she says with a squeeze. “But Hunter, it wasn’t your fault.”
“No? If I would have kept my mouth shut, we could have avoided all the drama. Mom blamed me for it, and I think Dad did too, for a while.”
She shakes her head with a frown, scrunching her lips. “It wouldn’t have mattered. If she was bold enough to do what she did in her own bed, she would have slipped up some other way. Your dad would have found out eventually.” Her thumb strokes mine tenderly, but I can’t dwell on it. “She was wrong for asking you to keep it a secret, Hunter. It wasn’t your responsibility to?—”
“I know it wasn’t, but what was I supposed to do? She completely broke him and left me to pick up the pieces.”
Ashlie’s eyebrows dip in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“He was okay after finding out she cheated on him. Angry, but still functioning. But when Mom took Artemis, Dad stopped eating and sleeping. He hyperfocused on work. Nothing else mattered.”
“Took her? That sounds scary as hell.”
It was terrifying. I was a kid and didn’t know how to deal with any of that shit. There were some nights he didn’t come home from work, opting to power through at the office. He always made sure I had the Wilmingtons to fall back on, but I was left to my own devices often.
The warmth from Ashlie’s fingers seems to travel through me, wrapping me in a cocoon of safety where it’s just me and her. For the first time in a long time, it’s okay to talk about this—okay tofeel. I blow out another breath, searching for some sense of calm in the storm of memories. “Chase’s parents were the ones who stepped in, got Dad back on track, and helped us get Artie home. It took years. It was a nightmare, and I hate her for it.”
Ashlie rubs her hand up my arm, a consolation prize that would, under any other circumstance, leave me with goosebumps. Now, though, it just makes me want to dive into her comfort. “I think that’s valid.” Ashlie nods. “Your mom?—”
“Naw.” I suck my teeth, looking straight ahead. “She’s not though. Moms don’t leave their kids like that. She made it perfectly clear which children she wanted, and she lost that title with me ten years ago.”
Ashlie cups my face in her hands, turning my head so I have to look at her. “Listen to me, Hunt. This was not your fault?—”
“I know that!”
Hot tears prick my eyes as I stare at Ashlie. I choke them back and try to turn away, but she keeps my head steady. “Hunter, her abandoning you, that was not your fault. She was wrong, and she shouldn’t have left. No amount of you doing anything differently would have changed the choices she made. That was all her. It all falls on her.”
Ashlie leans in, the compassion in her brown eyes lancing me. She isn’t doling out judgment or telling me I’m wrong for feeling this way. And like a flash of lightning, I’m hyperaware of the beating of my heart while her thumbs stroke my face. Her touch engraves possibilities into the desire I’ve stifled for years, her memory-inducing scent fogging through my head like an ether leading me to delirium. I could kiss her.
And I do.
It happens in slow motion, me leaning forward to press my lips to hers. For the briefest moment, she kisses me back, a soft and slow tug-of-war while we sample this forbidden fruit. I reach toward her for more, but just as fast, she drops her hands from my face and pulls away, leaving me craving her touch as soon as it’s gone.
“Hunter.” She shakes her head, eyes plastered below my chin. “Y-you’re upset,” she says in a breathless whisper.
“Shit.” I press the heels of my hands to my eyes, fully aware I just messed up. We don’t cross this line. I don’t even know what I was thinking. Iwasn’tthinking. “Fuck!”
“Hey…” The gentle soothe in her voice makes all of this worse. “It’s not a big deal. We can forget it even happened.”
“Yeah.” I scoff with a sardonic snort.
“Why don’t you come in? We can watch a movie or something.”
“Naw.” Shaking my head, I turn back to the road. “I need to go home.”
“Then I’ll come with you. I don’t like the idea of you being by yourself when you’re upset like this.”
“I’m not upset, I just want to be alone. I’m fine.” I feel her studying me, but I don’t risk another glance, fearing I’ll latch back on and drown in her vortex. I need to go home and sleep off whatever hex my mother’s presence has put on this day.
“Hunter, it’s okay to need people…” She puts her hand back over my arm, and I shrug away. As much as I craved her touch moments ago, it’s too intense right now. I just need to get out of here. “Will you text me when you get home?” she asks quietly.
I nod, feeling her eyes on me again before she slides out of the car. Without another word, she grabs her supplies from the back and walks up the stairs to her apartment.What the fuck did I just do?
Ashlie
Did you make it back okay?
It’s been two hours…
