“Messy is okay. That means it’s real. And if anyone can handle Jared, it’s you.”
I let out a chuckle, the tension between us finally breaking. “Thanks. And I promise, no more secrets. At least not the big ones.”
“Deal,” she says, squeezing my hand. “So, how are things with you and Jared? Better?”
“If better means he’s trying to win me back, then yeah.” I roll my eyes, feeling my chest rise and fall quicker just at the thought of him.
“Is it working?” Serena’s grin widens, clearly too excited about the idea.
I fiddle with a loose thread on my comforter, my voice dropping. “I guess. I miss him."
She tilts her head. “So… kiss and make up? What’s holding you back?”
I flop back dramatically on the bed, throwing an arm over my face. “The deal is… he’s trying to win me back.”
“Yes, you said that…” she says inconclusively.
I take my arm off, meeting her gaze. “I kind of want him toworkfor it. Maybe beg or something.”
Her jaw drops, eyes wide. “Alli!”
“What?” I sit up, smirking in faux innocence.
“You’re diabolical.” She laughs, nudging me. “I love it.”
I let out a laugh, but it dies fast. Too fast. Because the second it’s gone, the thoughts rush in—loud, insistent. Jared. The look on his face. The words that cut too deep. The damage I can’t undo. And the worst part? I have no clue how to fix it.
“You really care about him, don’t you?”
Sword at the chest.I look down at my lap, twisting my fingers. “Yeah. I do. I didn’t plan on it. It just… happened.”
Serena’s teasing smile falters, her expression turning serious, and I understand what she’s asking even without her pronouncing a single word.
“It’s not that simple.” My voice cracks, and it irritates me how vulnerable I sound. I focus on a stray puzzle piece, counting the colors on it to avoid speaking, but Serena’s silence pushes me to do so. “He’s everything I said I didn’t want. Charming, unpredictable, the guy everyone’s after.”
“So, he’s hot, confident, and into you? You poor thing.” She raises an eyebrow, the sarcasm practically dripping from her words.
I shoot her a glare. “You’re not helping.”
“Not my job.” She shrugs, completely unfazed. “But if you like him and he likes you, then just… do something about it, Alli.”
I scoff, straightening up and gathering the pieces that fell to the floor. “I wish it was that easy. I left home, and everything changed. I was just trying to find myself again. Trying to study to avoid feeling alone and… anxious all the time. It feels like I don’teven know who I am anymore. And now…” I trail off, squeezing the hem of my sweatshirt tighter.
“Now what?”
I take a shaky breath. “Now, with Jared, it’s like he sees a version of me I forgot existed.”
“Okay…”—she extends the Y—“so what’s the issue? Are you afraid he’s too good to be true?”
“No,” I admit, “I’m afraid I’m not enough for him. That I’ll start relying on him too much. Lose myself again.”
“Alli, please. You’re acting like Jared’s this perfect guy who only dates perfect girls. He’s just… a guy.” she raises her arms, then snorts, making me chuckle. “A guy who happens to like you. If he can’t see how amazing you are, thenhe’sthe one who’s not good enough, not you.”
I let out a reluctant laugh that eases the strain on my body. “You make things sound so simple.”
She shrugs casually, leaning back. “Comes with the territory. Learned a lot the hard way. But seriously, take your time if you need it. He’s not going anywhere. Trust me, the guy’s been asking me which rom-com he should watch to prepare for his ‘big win you back’ moment.”
I groan, grabbing a pillow to toss at her, though my smile betrays me. “You’re the worst.”
