“You’re not over me, huh?”
Alli’s eyes flash with annoyance. “We were never a thing,” she snaps, then lowers her voice, her words clipped. “We hooked up once.”
“You liked it.”
“So did you,” she retorts, crossing her arms over her chest, giving me a sharp look that sends a jolt through me.
“So, what’s the deal with Ethan?” I ask, shifting gears. Honestly, angry Alli is kind of… hot, and it’s throwing me off more than I want to admit.
“Nothing.”
“Are you blushing just at the sound of his name?” I tease, noticing the way her cheeks pinken. “Oh my god, you’re totally crushing on him.”
Alli slaps my arm. “Quiet. You’re so loud.”
I laugh, pretending to nurse my arm as if it’s a serious injury. “Okay, okay. But seriously, if you like him, why not make a move?”
“Because I’m not you,” she spits out, her frustration evident in the sharp tone of her voice. She shifts uncomfortably, avoiding my gaze. “I’m not Jared Collins. I’m not someone who can get anyone they want. People actually notice you, while I’m just trying to survive another year without losing myself.”
I feel a pang of irritation. “You think all that attention is a blessing? Half the time, it’s a nightmare. People notice me for the wrong reasons, and they never actually see me.”
Alli’s eyes flick to mine, and there’s that split-second hesitation before she looks away. The easy banter falls into a heavy silence. Her hands move, but they’re fidgeting, like she can’t find a place for them to rest.
“Um, I…” She clears her throat, eyes still avoiding mine. Her usual sassiness is missing. “I don’t know what to say to that.”
I exhale sharply, running a hand through my hair in frustration. “Can we just focus on the experiment?”
We return to our work in silence, the awkwardness thick between us. I glance at Alli, and I can’t help but feel uneasy about her words. People see the fame and think it’s all glitz and glam; even Alli must think I’m just another privileged athlete who has it all, but she doesn’t see the other side of it—the pressure, the scrutiny, and the loneliness that come with it. Having girls throw their numbers at me after games and follow me to classes isn’t exactly a picnic.
Once the lab wraps up and the room starts to clear out, a mix of relief and discomfort fills the air. I grab my stuff, stealing one last glance at Alli before heading out. The door slams behind me, and I exhale, feeling like I’ve just escaped a pressure cooker.
My phone buzzes with an incoming call. I head toward the stairwell, searching for some space before I answer. “Hey dad.”
“Hey, son. How are classes?”
I slide down the wall, sinking into the quiet of the stairs. “Good, yeah. I think I like most of my professors.” I pause, hearing the hesitation in his breaths. “What’s up with you?”
“Well, you know… same old stuff. Work, the usual.” He explains, then clears his throat. “How’s your mom been? Any word yet?”
A breath escapes me. “Not really. Haven’t heard from her in a bit.”
“I figured. You don’t think about reaching out to her, son?”
My teeth scrape together. “Why should I? She’s the one that disappeared, not me.”
There’s a long pause before he sighs. “I get it. I do. But she’s your mom. You don’t want to leave things like this.”
“Why shouldIbe remedying this? She’s the parent in this situation, not me.” I snap, clenching my jaw harder; it feels like my teeth might crack.
Dad’s quiet for a second, letting the tension linger. “Yeah. Okay. Just maybe—”
“Can we not talk about her?"
I stand there, eyes fixed on nothing, as the question lives in my mind:what does normal even look like with my momanymore?Because I’ve been trying to figure that out for years, and every time I think I have a handle on it, it slips away again.
“Alright, I’ll think about it,” I grumble, though I don’t mean it.
“Okay. Just keep me posted.”
