Nate, always ready to snap tension’s neck, steps up with a grin. “What are we doing? Ready to start the real games or what?”
The moment slips away just like that, replaced by the familiar rush of friendly competition. A cheer erupts across the room as someone sinks the final ball. I chuckle, but there’s still a tightness in my chest I can’t shake.
How long can I keep pretending that everything’s fine when I’m barely holding it all together?
Chapter 14
Alli
I’m buried in the chaos of today’s lab. My textbooks are scattered, beakers are crowding the table, and notes are multiplying by the second while Olivia parties it up at a sorority mixer. Jared’s voice cuts through the background noise, and I glance up from my workbench to see him and Ethan approaching. They’re chatting about something, and Jared’s casualness manages to ease my nerves. It always does.
Maybe that’s why our first lesson in regaining my confidence was so easy. My brain keeps drifting back to last week at Study Brew. I could never find the guts to approach guys, let alone talk to a guy without feeling the need to throw up violently. For once, it felt like a breakthrough of sorts, even if it was just a practice run.
“Hey, Alli,” Jared waves, his grin stretching across his face. “Ready for today’s experiment?” I turn to him, and he studies me. “You good?”
“Hey. Yeah, I’m just trying to make sense of these protocols.”
But I wasn’t being a hundred percent honest. My mind has been a mess for the past week. Yesterday, my mom called about Victoria, my cousin’s,quinceañerathis weekend, which is something I’m not looking forward to. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but the idea of spending hours on end with my extended family feels like a personal challenge.
My mom’s always been supportive and relaxed, trusting me to do my own thing. She’s nothing like the strict Mexican momswith curfews tied to the streetlights, counting the minutes before you have to be home. Instead, she values freedom, letting us live our lives, learn from our mistakes, and own our decisions. I can date and bring boyfriends home for dinner without weird interrogations or forced awkwardness.
But because she’s so different from her sisters and brothers, there are always whispers when we’re not around.
Teresa tiene a Allison a rienda suelta. No hay control.
And it’s not just about my mom; it’s the way they look at me too. I’m judged for not having the “right” curfew or meeting a guy at a cousin’s house before we’re even dating. I don’t follow their old-fashioned way of doing things, and they always have something to say about it behind my back.
And don’t even get me started onTíaMary. She’s something else. She’s my mom’s older sister and the mother of my favorite cousins, Evelyn and Victoria. She’s always had reservations towards me—the way I was raised and my lifestyle. She was never on board with anything my mom chose for me; it was always “Teresa, don’t do it like that; Teresa, how do you let her do that; Teresa, Allison has to pick up her grades.” And I didn’t get away too easily.TíaMary quite literally points her finger at me whenever she scolds me about my clothes, my choices, my major—anything and everything. I’m never up to par, constantly under a microscope whenever I’m around her.
I’m hit with another ton of bricks when reality slaps me with the reminder that I promised Victoria I’d do her makeup for thequinceañera. That means not only do I have to endure the family gathering, but I’m also roped into being the unofficial makeup artist. So, no excuse to stay on campus and avoid the extended family.
“Earth to Alli?” Ethan leans over, raising an eyebrow as he sneaks a glance at my notes. “Everything okay?”
I blink, snapping back to the present. “Sorry, what was that?”
Ethan’s lips lift into a smirk. “I said, do you have any plans this weekend?”
Jared starts setting up the experiment and tools, his confidence making me wish I could borrow even an ounce of it.
“Oh, right,” I reply, running a hand through my hair. “I have aquinceañerato go to. You?”
Ethan’s grin widens, clearly amused by my reaction. “Well, actually, I’m heading to Alpha Phi’s party Saturday night,” he says casually. “Thought I’d see if you’d want to come with me.”
My heart deflates at the thought. Of course, theoneweekend I have plans to go home, Ethan invites me to hang out. My one chance at getting to know him better… gone. It’s like a cruel cosmic joke.
“Maybe next time.” I say, forcing a cheerful tone that doesn’t mask the awkwardness.
“Yeah, next time.”
As class drags on, I try to focus on finishing up our lab assignment, but my mind keeps wandering. The thought of facing my judgmentalTíaMary has me feeling more anxious by the minute. I can’t stop picturing the endless questions and disapproving glances. Maybe Evelyn will be there, and I’ll have my trauma buddy, but I doubt she’ll come home to deal with her mom’s high expectations. I make a mental note to call her anyway.
The screech of chairs being dragged across the floor echoes in the lab as everyone rushes to leave. I shove my notebook and pens into my bag, not even bothering to organize them. My head’s been all over the place today, and I’m desperate to crawl into bed and forget the world exists.
“See you later,” I mumble over my shoulder to Jared and Ethan, not waiting for a reply as I weave my way through the cluster of students heading for the door. The cool hallway air hits my face, sharp and refreshing, but it does nothing to unravel the mess spinning in my brain.
The walk back to my apartment is quieter than usual, the campus humming faintly in the background. Every step feels heavier, weighing on me. By the time I reach my door, my fingers fumble with the key, desperate for my privacy. Stepping inside, I’m met with the warmth of my tiny sanctuary: the cluttered coffee table and the pile of laundry I’ve been ignoring. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine, and for the first time today, my shoulders drop an inch.
The evening stretches out before me, and I dread having to mentally prepare for the weekend ahead.
