“Hey, Alli,” Lily greets me with a friendly smile once she sees me. “Did you find all the good snacks?”
“Yeah, we’re all set,” I reply, my voice sounding more cheerful than I feel. “Got stuff to make s’mores.”
We settle back into the circle around the fire, and I try to shake off the conversation I overheard. The group is still lively, laughing and joking, but I sit there with my mood completely shot. I force myself to smile and join in, but it feels fake. The crackling of the fire and the tender waves from the ocean make the night feel perfect and ideal, yet I can’t really enjoy it.
The night progresses, the energy of the group winds down. One by one, everyone heads to their rooms, leaving me sitting by the dimming fire. I try to shake off the awkwardness and disappointment, but the thoughts won’t leave me. It’s only then that I hear footsteps approaching. I look up to see Jared walking over, a casual but also indecipherable expression on his face. He takes a seat beside me, and for a moment, we sit in silence, the only sound being the dying campfire.
Jared glances over at me, breaking the silence. “You’ve been kind of quiet tonight. Everything alright?” His voice is smooth like velvet, and there’s a genuine concern that makes my heart leap in my chest.
“I’m fine,” I reply, trying to sound convincing, but my voice lacks the usual confidence.
“No, you’re not,” Jared insists, his tone firm but gentle. “You’ve been off all night. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
I glance over at Jared, the words from Lily and Luca still ringing in my ears. A hesitation lingers in me, and I stop myself from bringing up the conversation I overheard. After all, he’s single, I’m single, and maybe it’s not worth making a big deal out of.
“Last night, what happened between us…” I swallow, feeling the words catch in my throat. “It shouldn’t have happened.”
Jared’s eyes stay locked on mine, his stare intense. “Why do you say that?” His voice is low, but there’s a sharpness of bewilderment beneath it.
I take a slow breath, searching for the right words. “Things feel different now. I don’t want it to change things between us or my friendship with Serena.”
I’m flat out lying.
Serena wouldn’t care if we dated or not. The real reason I’ve been off all night? I can’t bring myself to admit it. How do you even say something like that out loud?
Sorry, Jared, I think I might’ve caught feelings for you after I lost my virginity to you, but I overheard you don’t really date and you’d rather hook up than settle down.
“Serena wouldn’t… she doesn’t care what I do.” He says. I watch his face closely, trying to gauge his reaction, but I can’t read him. He takes a breath, his eyes locking onto mine, like he’s trying to figure me out. Then he nods, his voice quiet but intense. “I get it. I mean, if it was just a fling to you, I wouldn’t want it to complicate things either.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. A fling? My heart sinks as his choice of words rings painfully in my mind. It feels like a dismissal, a belittlement of what happened between us. I force myself to hide my expression, but I can’t hide the hurt in my eyes.
“That’s not what I meant, it’s not… Alli,” Jared says quickly, seeing my reaction. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought—”
“So, I was just a side quest. Got it, Jared. I fucking get it.”
Without waiting for a response, I stand up abruptly. The tears that have been threatening to fall finally break free, streaming down my face as I walk away from him, feeling my world crashing in a matter of minutes.
Chapter 9
Jared
I walk through campus, HUMBLE by Kendrick Lamar blasting in my headphones; the bass drowning out the whispers and giggles that seem to follow me everywhere I go. It’s not like I’m trying to be unapproachable, I just want to focus on the season and get through my day without feeling like I’m the newest iPhone.
Today’s a prime example of how out of control things have gotten. The receptionist gives me a sympathetic look as she hands over the card for yet another delivery. “Another gift.”
“Sorry, Ms. Sinclair,” I say, my eyes landing on the gift. It’s a massive teddy bear with a heart-shaped pillow that reads:From Chelsea.
I mentally groan as I read the card. I met Chelsea at a party when I first transferred. She’s nice and cute, but I’m just not interested. I shove the card into my backpack with a sigh. The gifts, the messages—it’s overwhelming and, honestly, kind of annoying.
“Can I have this teddy bear?” My teammate, Chase, asks once he walks up behind me. “For Haley.”
I give him a playful shove. “Get your own gift.”
He raises his eyebrows, eyeing the bear like it's the Holy Grail. “You don’t even want it. Let it go to a good cause. Haley’s happiness.”
I roll my eyes. “I donate half the stuff they give me anyway, so either way, it’s going somewhere.”
Chase chuckles, then pats me understandingly on the back. “Fair point. But seriously, man, how do you get all this stuff?”
