“Pretty much the same,” I shrug, hoping she doesn’t notice the slight tremor in my hand. “Maybe hit the gym later.”
Alli raises an eyebrow, setting her pen down slowly. She’s onto me. “Quit the small talk, Jare-Bear. What do you want?”
I exhale dramatically at the nickname. I hated when she called me Jare-Bear in middle school. I still hate it. “We should talk about what happened.”
She pauses, her brows frowning slightly as she processes what I said.
“What happened on the beach. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“No bullshit.”
Her expression eases as she lets out a heavy sigh, dragging her hands down her face. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” I ask, my voice low, pulling her attention back to me.
She peeks through her fingers at me. “I mean, I don’t know how to explain it. I’ve had anxiety attacks since freshman year. It’s the pressure, the projects, anything school-related, trying to balance a social life, and missing home. Everything just piles up, and sometimes it’s too much.”
“Alli—”
“No,” Alli says sharply. “I don’t need the lecture. I’m fine. I’m handling it.”
I let out a disbelieving laugh. “Handling it alone on the beach, crying your eyes out at midnight? That’s how you’re handling it?”
“It’s not the first time I’ve cried alone at the beach. And honestly, I really don’t want to talk about it, so can you not?”
Inside, I wince. Her words drag up a memory from the summer after high school sophomore year, when I was the onewho made her cry during our camping trip. The realization stings, and it’s hard to swallow even now.
Alli and I share mutual friends, having grown up together and made countless memories since middle school. After sophomore year, once we had our licenses, we decided to kick off summer and celebrate Lily Sok’s birthday with a camping trip at Carolina State Beach Park. That weekend was a blur. Alli and I hooked up one night, and for a whole night, it felt so real between us. But what started as something special quickly fell apart. I messed things up, and it ended in a way that left both of us hurt.
I shake off the memory, forcing myself to focus on the present as I take a slow sip of my drink. Alli keeps her gaze locked on her cup, avoiding mine. Her earlier sharpness has faded, replaced by a quiet distance that feels impenetrable. The silence between stretches uncomfortably until the bell over the café door chimes. Ethan Díaz strides in, shattering the tension with his arrival.
Alli’s gaze shifts past me, and her entire body language changes. Her eyes widen slightly, and she straightens up, smoothing her hair with a nervous hand. I follow her line of sight and see Ethan making his way to the counter.
I tame a smirk, choosing to keep it to myself.
Ethan spots us and waves, his smile widening as he walks up to the table. “Hey, Jared. Hey, Alli, right?”
Alli gives Ethan a reserved wave, nodding in acknowledgment, but there’s something in her eyes that wasn’t there before. Something that wasn’t typical, Alli. Normally, she’d be teasing, holding her own in any conversation, but right now, she seems a little… off.
“Hey, Ethan,” I say, giving him a casual nod. “What’s up?”
Ethan slides into the seat next to me without asking, his energy as easygoing as ever. “Just grabbing some coffee before I hit the library. By the way, did you still need my Microbiology notes?”
I snap my fingers, remembering, and grab the folder Ethan lent me. “Thanks for this. The color-coded notes were a lifesaver.”
“Glad to hear that. Microbiology can be a beast, so I’m happy to help.”
“Order for Ethan!” The barista calls from the counter.
“I gotta head out.” Ethan says, grabbing his drink. “Catch you tomorrow.”
I raise two fingers in a quick salute. “Later.”
As he walks away, I catch Alli watching him, her gaze lingering just a second too long.
“You’re acting all shy now? Huh.” I tilt my head, watching her. “Could’ve fooled me. You two seem like old friends. Should I be worried?”
