“Sunshine, wait–”
“Serena, now!” Jared repeats.
“I’m sorry.” Is all I can get out before backing up towards the car.
I hop into Jared’s car, the engine roaring to life as we speed away from the tense scene. The chilly night air rushes in through the window, and I hug myself as shielding.
Jared’s mumbling curses under his breath, clearly pissed. “What the hell was that, Serena?”
“Drop it.” I retort, feeling a knot of frustration in my chest.
We pull into the driveway, the engine cutting off abruptly. I beeline for the front door, avoiding anyone in my way.
Alone in the quiet of my room, I collapse onto the bed, my mind still reeling. I toss and turn, trying to shake off the whirlwind of emotions from the night. But sleep eludes me as I ponder the weight of Tyler’s confession, again.
Is it just me, or does life have a knack for hurling curveballs when we least expect it? Here I am, trying to decode Tyler’s “I love you,” and it feels like I’m stuck in a movie I never wanted to be in.
Chapter 35
Tyler
I thought confessing my feelings to Serena would bring us closer. But it’s been a week since I last saw her after state, and I haven’t heard a word from her. The silence is deafening, and I can’t help but wonder if I’ve messed things up even more. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything else in the parking lot. It’s not like I expect her to confess right away but damn, this radio silence is making me second-guess everything.
Maybe I’ve made things awkward between us. I miss our conversations, the way we’d laugh over our icebreaker answers, even the tutoring sessions that she’d make surprisingly fun. It’s like there’s this void now, and it’s hard not to overthink it. Is she ghosting me? Is she sick? Did something happen? Did I misread our friendship this whole time?
I don’t want to lose what we have. Serena’s more than just a friend to me–so much fucking more–she’s someone I genuinely care about. I wish I could let her know how badly I want us, and how I’m dead set on not messing it up. But right now, all I got is feeling stuck in this limbo of not knowing where we stand.
At the same time, I need to remind myself I should give her space. She deserves space after Beckham’s party, after the rumors, after her cheer competition. Respect her boundaries. But what if that pushes her further away? What if that makes her think I didn’t mean what I said?
Why isn’t there a stupid tutorial guide on navigating catching feelings for a friend?
It’s frustrating. Confessing my feelings was a huge risk, one I thought would be worth taking. Only it feels like I’m left hanging, waiting for a response that might never come.
I wish I was closer to my dad. It’s not that we’re estranged, but we’re just not emotionally available to each other. If we were, maybe then I could get some advice from someone who’s been through it all before. But I know nothing much would come out of it, even if I tried. He’s never been the type to open up about his feelings.
And then there’s my mom. I wish she was here, comforting me with her gentle words and warm hugs. She would know all the right things to say and do. I could hear her practically telling me to buy those pink roses for Serena. But she’s gone, and I feel like there’s practically no one in my radar I could talk to about this.
Jared hates my guts. I don’t even want to look at Beckham for bringing Emilie to the party. Given, he didn’t know, yet I can’t help but try to push the blame to someone else.
I use my last block of the day to hit the student gym on campus since Serena is still MIA. The weight of my confession to Serena lingers in my mind, but for now, I need a distraction. I head straight to the weights area. The sound of my own breathing becomes my focus as I start my workout routine.
With each lift and push, I attempt to push away the uncertainty. And so, the weight bar becomes my anchor, providing a temporary escape. But as much as I try to bury the thoughts, they keep resurfacing.
I increase the intensity of my workout, hoping to sweat out the frustration and confusion. The repetition of the exercises helps clear my head, at least momentarily.
I must be way in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice Elijah finishing up his workout. He approaches me while I switch a weight for another.
Elijah raises both hands in the air like he’s surrendering, “I come in peace.”
“What do you want?” I grit, not in the mood for jokes.
“You good, bro?” he asks with furrowed brows. “You left the party heated and I wanted to check in after…”
“The bullshit gossip online?” I finish for him.
I straighten up my back and run a hand through my hair while the other rests on my hip. He doesn’t leave. He staysperfectly still while his eyebrows raise in search of answers. I avoid his gaze, a worried one I have only recognized before in Jared or Beckham. Elijah and I have never been the type to open up with each other, more like casual what’s up at parties.
I clear my throat, but he seems unfazed by the awkwardness and silence.
