Ralph arches a brow and lays his hand over mine.
“I’m just tired of pretending everything is okay. Tired of dodging the things I need to confront,” I confess, fiddling with the rim of my glass. “Therapy was supposed to fix me, but why does it feel like I’m still that broken girl?”
Ralph leans forward. “What happened?”
I hesitate, unsure of how much to reveal. But with the alcohol’s lingering fog and Ralph’s supportiveness, the words tumble out. “I saw my mom last night, and I found out she has a kid. It’s like all my abandonment issues are back on the surface, raw and unprocessed.”
Ralph’s eyes widen in understanding, but before he can respond, I continue, “And then there’s the guy who sent me those flowers,” I nod toward the idle bouquet. “He said something last night that threw me off. Confessed he loves me.” I take a deep breath, my voice wavering. “It’s complicated, Ralph. I don’t know what to do about it. Any of it.”
Ralph looks at me with a mix of concern and empathy. “Love is never easy, Serena. Sometimes it comes at unexpected times and complicates everything. But if it’s genuine, it’s worth considering.”
“I don’t know if I want love.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Love is scary. It’s terrifying. I felt like running into her again was a sign, then next thing you know, I’m receiving a love confession. Is it a sign that he’ll leave me too?”
Ralph’s expression softens. “Serena, your mom’s actions shouldn’t determine your relationship choices. You can’t let that fear control you.”
“I know, but it’s hard not to think about it. I’ve seen what happens when someone leaves,” I admit, feeling my memories pressing on my chest.
“You can’t base your choices solely on past experiences. Tyler might not be like anyone else. It’s important to take the chance. The risk, if you want to call it that.”
“But what if it all falls apart? What if I’m not enough?” My voice trembles. “I never wanted to fall in love, you know. I never thought it would be like this.”
Ralph’s eyes meet mine and he smiles with a shrug. “People fall in love without reason, without even wanting to. You can’t predict it. That’s love.”
Before I know it, I’m crying like Kim Kardashian at our kitchen table. Ralph doesn’t say anything, but I feel his presence at my side. It’s steady and comforting. I don’t even know how long I’ve been crying for until he sets a box of tissues in front of me.
“I’m sorry,” I manage to choke out in between sobs, while grabbing a handful of tissues.
Ralph’s hand gently touches my shoulders. “It’s okay, let it out.”
I try to find the right words, but they escape me.
And as I’m sitting there, tears streaking down my face, it’s like I’m watching a montage of my moments with Tyler being played out like snippets of a movie in my head. The tutoring sessions where he’d shoot those sneaky glances, the ridiculous icebreakers we did, those insistent car rides he’d offer, even when I said no and letting me have full control on our music.
His confession adds this whole new layer, making everything so tangled, so complicated.
Chapter 34
Serena
The morning sun filters through the windows of Skyline’s gym, casting a warm glow over the bleachers. I stand with my teammates awaiting our turn at the state competition. We’re all choosing to be energized, kind of ignoring the nervousness that itches the atmosphere.
We huddle together one last time, the familiar scent of hairspray and anticipation surrounding us. Coach Miller’s words of encouragement ring in our ears as we take our places on the mat, ready to showcase months of blood, sweat and tears.
The music starts, an upbeat medley that sets the tone for our routine. With each count, we move as one, executing flips, twists, and jumps with precision and power. The adrenaline courses through my veins as I tumble across the mat and trusting my teammates to catch me as I soar through the air.
We feed off the energy of the crowd, their cheers and applause driving us forward with a sense of camaraderie and unity.
As we reach the end of our routine, we hit our final pose with a sense of satisfaction, knowing that we’ve given it our all, the result of countless hours spent perfecting our routine. The crowd erupts into applause, and we share congratulatory hugs and high-fives, basking in the joy of our success.
The moment of truth arrives as the judges tally the scores, and we hold our breath, hoping our hard work has paid off. When the results are announced, a wave of mixed emotions washes over us–we’ve taken second place.
Despite the disappointment of not clinching the top spot, we hold our heads high, proud of what we’ve accomplished together as a team. Alli packs her navy blue and gold bow into her bag, and she nudges my elbow, a knowing look in her eyes now that we’re in the locker room.
“What?” I ask curtly.
