Is this his way of telling me he likes me without actuallytellingme? I’ve always assumed Tyler’s the type to tell someone he has feelings for them, not showing it in gifts. Or maybe that’s just his love language.
My group of friends finally join me after what feels like forever. All of them have Cokes from Grant, and Crushes to my surprise.
“Cokes and Crushes?” I ask while unpacking my Laotian egg salad.
“Yep.” Grant answers, popping the p. His eyes wander to the Crush sitting next to my lunch container. He sends a quick once over to Alli and Priya, who both respond with their weird eye language that I’m not fluent in.
“Who sent you that?” Priya asks with a tone that basically translates to I-know-who-sent-you-that-but-I-want-you-to-tell-me.
“No one,” I reply, stabbing a piece of lettuce in my mouth.
“This is huge!” Alli sings, “He’s basically saying he’s into you.”
I don’t say anything, I just scowl on my face as I munch on my salad and crack open my Crush.
Alli places both hands on Priya and Grant’s arms. They lean in together and whisper, “Tyler Westman is into you.”
My eyes widened. I wave my hands at them to keep their voices down but I’m already getting attention by the way I’m flashing my hands with a fork in my mouth. “Oh my god, can you keep it down?”
Truth be told, I don’t want anyone guessing something is going on with Tyler. I haven’t opened up to my friends about the recurring thoughts I’ve been holding in. In my defense, I’ve been in denial and still am. So, there’s nothing to tell.
The three lean back, composing themselves, and start taking out their own lunch items. Alli speaks first, “What’s wrong?”
“If he’s into me, he would just say so instead of sending me a soda.”
“Because he....” Grant chimes in, his tone hinting that he wants me to finish his sentence.
“I don’t know.” I really don’t know.
“Because he?” Priya echoes, her hand waving for me to continue.
“I don’t know.” Okay, maybe Idoknow.
“Liar, youdoknow.”
Shit.
“Your point is?”
“Serena Annabelle Inthavong. Tyler sent you a Crush at one of the most obvious events we do at school. What could that mean?”
I hate when she does that. This is Alli’s secret weapon to force me into revealing more of what I’m holding back. But right now, it’s not about holding back; it’s about gaining control over my thoughts and emotions.
I mindlessly play with my salad and think about my never-ending thoughts that won’t shut the fuck up. Admitting how I feel is like stepping into the unknown, and I’m not prepared for that step quite yet. It’s much easier to keep them locked away, buried beneath layers of rationalization and denial. Because saying it out loud makes it real, and real means that it has the power to change everything.
Chapter 17
Tyler
I’m sitting at our usual table waiting for Serena. We’re working through a problem I’ve been having trouble with which is partly why I asked for an emergency session.
Reason one, I actually did need help.
Reason two, I really wanted to see her. We don’t have any classes together, unless you count lunch, but we don’t sit together. I could, but I’d hate to be that guy who barges and takes someone else’s spot at their table.
Reason three, I think Iamfalling for her. I know I said no girls or girlfriends during my senior year, but I think I’m starting to see the error of my ways now.
It’s game day, so cheerleaders make it a tradition to wear the school colors every home game on Fridays. Earlier at lunch, I couldn’t tell what she was wearing other than a navy blue shirt. But now that she’s sitting across from me, explaining triangles to me, I should be listening but I’m too busy admiring her beauty.
