My eyes survey the current tumbler on the mat who is pulling a round-off back handspring with surrounding teammates, shouting words of encouragement to boost the person’s confidence for full execution.
“Ah, I see.”
“Don’t be nervous, just do whatever here. Coach doesn’t care.”
I give a silent agreement by shaking my head. I listen to Grant and Alli talk about homecoming that’s coming up in a few weeks.I listen casually, not offering much value to the conversation as I’m just waiting for my turn and leaving practice.
“Yeah, so I’m definitely in the homecoming court,” Alli coos, “I’m excited!”
“But who’s going to be leading us at the game? You’re going to be on the field and the stands.”
“I haven’t decided yet, I’ll ask the coach,” Alli explains. I tune out from their nonsense banter about who Alli’s homecoming date should be, only to mindlessly eavesdrop on another conversation in front of me.
“So, you’re getting back with Tyler?” the same auburn haired girl, Bella, asks.
“Not official yet,” Cassie responds, fixing up her hair. “We’re working on some things.”
I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, it’s not right. I mean, technically, I accidentally overheard their conversation. We’re in a public space for one.
I watch Cassie march up to the mat, ready to go full send. She, too, throws a round-off back handspring–which is considered intermediate in my opinion–but I can see Cassie stumble on her landing as it’s wobbly and not balanced. She doesn’t show her frustration, but I can tell she wants to scream, just like anyone would.
My eyes wander around, leading me to glance up at the top level of the gym. A familiar figure leans against the rails, observing our practice.
I overhear Bella call out for Cassie, jutting her chin upwards. “Looks like he’s watching.”
A small part of me is hoping what I accidentally overheard isn’t true. I mentally kick myself because I shouldn’t be thinking about that at all. I mean, it shouldn’t matter if they’re getting back together. Tyler’s notmine.
“Earth to Serena?”
My eyes dart back to Alli and Grant who are staring at me.
“Can you repeat that?”
Alli eyes me from head to toe but chooses to not call me out on why I wasn’t listening. “I asked if you needed a ride home after the home game next week.”
I clear my throat, “No, it’s fine. I have to face my fears about driving at some point.”
Alli and Grant share a side glance with each other, but I see it and know what they’re thinking. Grant doesn’t say anything and lets Alli speak for both of them. He walks up to the mat for his turn, leaving her and I.
“I’ll be fine. I drove to school this morning. It’s progress.”
Alli breathes softly, “That’s good. But you know you can ask me anytime if you need a ride.”
Alli recently moved so we no longer live five minutes apart, but now a whopping twenty minutes away. My house would be on the way to basically anywhere but now that she’s living farther out, it doesn’t make sense for her to backtrack to my house just to give me a ride.
I shake my head, refusing. “It’s fine. I got it.”
I try to convince myself to get over the fear little by little. It’s like if I get behind the wheel, I have to pep talk myself to get on the road for ten minutes. This morning, for example, I drove to school. It may have taken me double the time to get here and drove five below the speed limit, but progress is progress and my therapist thinks so too.
Thankfully, it’s my turn to take the mat, marking our conversation as complete and freeing me from Alli’s insistence.
I take my place, standing at the edge of the mat. With a deep breath, I lock in. Taking my first step, I build momentum with every stride, and I feel my confidence soar. I hear the collective support of my team pushing me forward–cheering me on. As I leap into the air, I execute a flawless full whip, my surroundings around me becoming a blur. Then, in a split second, I complete the second full rotation, landing with grace and precision.
I stroll over to Grant, who is clapping and still cheering me on. He lifts a hand, an open invitation for a high five. “Damn, girly. I knew you were good, but I didn’t know you could tumble like that.”
I return the high five and stand next to him as we watch Alli throw a round-off handspring full. “Just your average cheer rat.”
From my peripheral vision, I can see Cassie shooting me a brief glance in disbelief. “Show off.” She whispers to Bella, covering her mouth.
