I follow her gaze and feel a lump form in my throat as I see the image she’s pointing at. It’s a photo of my dad and me from years ago, back when everything was different. The memory hits me like a wave, and for a moment, I’m lost in the past.
My first cheer competition. We won against all the local cheer clubs. My dad has me wrapped in his arms, squatting down beside me as I clutch the pink roses he bought me.
“That’s my dad,” I manage to say, my voice trembling with emotion as I recall the memory.
But before Priya can respond, Alli bursts in, “Hey, guys! What’s going on?” Her eyes quickly scan my face, reading my emotions too well. “Movie’s ready.”
I catch Alli’s knowing look, a silent understanding passing between us. She’s always been intuitive, sensing when things need a change of pace.Thank God.
I open up the trampoline entrance, gesturing for my friends to hop in first.
We plop ourselves against the numerous pillows and Squishmallows that Alli set up earlier. We settle in, getting ready to unwind and relax until my Jared pops his head inside.
“What?” I ask point blankly, wondering why he’s here. I know he’s supposed to be going to a party tonight. After all, it’s a Saturday night. Jared is well-known around campus, so he’s always going to parties… almost every weekend.
He rolls his eyes at me and reveals the small tray of egg rolls that was hiding behind his back. “Ma said to bring these out for you.”
My eyes light up, and when I glance at my friends, their eyes are basically heart-shaped. I waddle out of the trampoline and grab the tray from him. “Thanks.”
I hand off the tray to Grant’s grabby-ass hands, who is a little too excited at the moment. “Are you heading to Beckham’s party?” I ask.
Jared grins and smoothes out his shirt quickly like he’s about to head out. “Yeah, I was going to ask if you wanted to come along with me. I know it’s on your list to make some friends.”
“I have friends.” I take a quick peek behind my shoulders to see my friends chowing down on eggrolls and slurping their boba like cavemen.
“I know, I just wanted you to meet some people.” He explains, making me raise a brow (my way of asking what he meant by that). “Ma has been bugging me to bring you around so you could meetsomeone.”
I’m either choking on air or laughing uncontrollably, making my friends turn their heads at us. “I don’t need a blind date. I’m perfectly capable of meeting people on my terms.” I start picking at my sweatshirt like there’s lint on my sleeves. “Besides, I’m living my life. I’ll meet someone along the way at some point.”
“You’re going to be thirty by the time it happens.”
Now, I’m feeling slightly offended.
“Look, I want you to meet some good people. I-”
“Jared, she’s not going. We have a movie to watch.” Alli interrupts, her head poking out with annoyance painted all over her face.
Jared shoots a glare at Alli. He rubs the back of his neck and huffs out a sigh. “Suit yourself. But if you’re going to live your life–your words, not mine–maybe you should start by making new Saturday plans and get out there.” He leaves it and heads out towards the gate, then the driveway.
I regroup with my friends and chew on an egg roll angrily, then realize the movie hasn’t started yet. I look at Alli, only to see two other prying sets of eyes. “What?”
“Jared? Ma?” Grant questions, brows furrowed, eyes darting to me and the space where Jared was. “He’s your brother?”
Oh shit, I haven’t planned on explaining our family ties. It’s kind of confusing to explain it. Alli’s known me since we were kids, so it was simple to transition into.
“We’re step-siblings.” I set my eggroll down in the tray, wiping my hands clean together. “Sorry, it’s a confusing story to tell.”
I don’t tend to share my family’s life story. I don’t like the pity. Try being a kid with a dead father and a mother who didn’t want anything to do with her. It’s hard to cope with the taunting from children who didn’t understand, who thought it was fun totease the girl who had no one in her circle. I didn’t want the uncalled-for whispers and pointing. I didn’t want the fucking stares that they think I can’t see.
Do I really want to show this side of myself? What if they think I’m weak or too emotional? What if they turn on me? High school can be ruthless, and I don’t want to give anyone more ammunition to use against me. It’s safer to keep my guard up.
But then again, maybe sharing my past will bring us closer together. Maybe it’s time to stop sheltering myself from people. Maybe they’ll see me asmeand not just a girl with issues.
And so, despite the fear, I spill everything. I pour out my story so quickly that I’m left breathless. I search their faces for any sign of rejection, knowing I trauma dumped so much on them.
Alli and Jared have been the only ones who understand. Partly because they were the only ones who grew to learn what happened. To add more people into the mix is emotionally tiring. But I’ve grown close to Grant and Priya in a short time. So, here’s to God, that they don’t react or treat me differently.
A moment passes so I break the overwhelming silence. “I’m not looking for your pity,” I tuck my hair behind my ear. “I’ve accepted and come to terms with everything. I understand if you want to leave.” I gaze at my friends, examining their expressions for any signs of their pending actions.
