“You agreed to babysit tonight, so Ryder and I could go out with some of his clients.”
I notice, then, what Eve is wearing. She looks beautiful in her blue dress and heels. Her long, auburn hair is down her back, and you can tell she’s definitely ready for a night out.
“Oh shit,” he chuckles. “That’s tonight?”
“Yes, that’s tonight,” she puts her hands on her hips. “Don’t you dare back out now. I got ready and have pumped the life out of my breasts today to give you enough bottles for tonight. I need this night out…weneed this night out.”
“We would love to babysit tonight,” I grin at Eve. “You didn’t have any other plans tonight, did you?” I glance over at Jake, and he’s studying me closely with a small smile on his lips.
“All my plans involved spending time with you, but I think I can share you with my niece and nephew for one evening.”
“Thank God!” Eve looks up to the ceiling and puts her hands in a prayer position. “I love my kids with my whole heart, but this momma really needs some adult conversations and a glass of wine.”
“We’ve got you,” I laugh. “You look beautiful, by the way. You and Ryder take your time and don’t worry about a thing.”
“Thank you. I knew you would be a good bestie.” She hugs me and looks at Jake. “I’ll show you where everything is, and I’ve written down their schedules to make it easy for you.”
“I’ll be right there,” he says.
She nods before waving goodbye to me and walking back to the main house.
“Probably not the night you imagined,” he chuckles, closing the distance between us. “I can’t believe I completely forgot about it. My mind has been elsewhere lately,” he smiles and traces the top of the towel.
“It will be fun. I’m actually really excited about it.” I stand on tiptoes and briefly kiss his lips. “I’ll get dressed and be right there to help.” I move to walk away, and he pulls me back to him.
“That kiss is not going to cut it. We are about to have our hands full for the next four hours. I want more of your taste on me to hold me over.
His hand grabs the back of my neck as his lips find mine. He dives in as his mouth devours me. My tongue dances with his, and I feel him hard again as his hand keeps me firmly in place against his body.
By the time he pulls away, I’m panting and in a complete daze. His eyes smile as he backs away.
“Now,thatkiss might hold me over until later,” he grins and walks out the door.
I sink to the bed and fall back. Jesus, that man can kiss. I place my hand over my heart and feel it racing. Touching my swollen lips, there’s no stopping the grin that spreads across my face.I still can’t believe this is happening.
One part of me feels it’s too good to be true and will be ripped away from me. The other part of me feels like a giddy teenager in love who wants to happy dance around the room.
I push all my worries away and let the giddy teenager take over. I’m in too good of a mood to let anything spoil it. I walk over to the closet, and when I get a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror, I do a double take and step closer to get a better look.
I’ve never taken the time to look at myself…I mean,really,look at myself. If I’m being completely honest, I avoid looking too closely at myself in the mirror. In the beginning, all I would see was pain and sadness staring back at me, and after I met Tim, I saw shame.
Deep down, I knew how he treated me wasn’t right, that he had an ugly soul, but I stayed. I stayed out of fear of being alone. I stayed because it was easier to deal with the pain he inflicted than it was to keep working my fingers to the bone to make ends meet. I stayed because some sick part of me craved love from an older man because I was robbed of it with my dad.
It was easier to avoid the truth, so I avoided myself. The eyes don’t lie, and mine were always a constant reminder of everything I didn’t want to accept or face.
But now…
I peer into my light brown eyes for the first time in a long time. I wait for the hatred or disgust to appear like it always does, but it never comes. I see a light that’s never been there before.
Quickly dropping my towel, I see myself for who I really am, not what circumstances have made me.
I see myself throughhiseyes.
My hands slowly roam over my body and touch every curve, seeing the beauty that he does and not being ashamed anymore of words that were once said to me. I silently forgive myself for the choices that I’ve made and leave the regrets behind. It led me here…to him, and for that, I will be forever grateful.
I smile when my hands graze the sore spot between my legs and the small light bruise on my thigh from his grip. My fingers run over the red mark on my neck. Seeing what he left on my body makes me feel alive and powerful. I will never associate sex with anything other than love and passion. He’s given me a safe place to explore what my body is capable of and shown me what it truly means to be loved.
Excited to spend the evening with him, I quickly get dressed and run a comb through my damp hair. I apply a touch of mascara and lip gloss before walking outside, remembering to lock the door this time.
