“Sure.” I watch him walk to his bedroom as I sink down on the sofa. I have no right to be upset. He’s probably had lots of dates and has slept with other women. A guy who looks like Ryder doesn’t stay lonely for long.
He comes back out, and my eyes roam his body. He put on dark jeans and a nice black t-shirt. There’s no way this Mackenzie girl is going to deny him anything tonight. He’s like a walking sex god. I swallow down the envy that’s coursing through my body, feeling sick to my stomach.
“I shouldn’t be out late. I’ll have my phone on me if you need me for anything. My brothers are here too.”
“We’ll be fine. Don’t worry about us. Go have fun with Mackenzie.” I try to keep the bitterness out of my voice but fail miserably.
Sighing, he runs his hand through his hair. “Mackenzie is…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Ryder,” I say, cutting him off. “I was gone for three years. It would be stupid for us to think that we both waited all this time.”
His jaw clenches tight, and his eyes harden. “Yeah, I guess it would be stupid to think that,” he spits out before opening the door and leaving me to the silence.
I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes. I don’t know why I said that. I know it’s childish, but I wanted him to feel some of the jealousy that I’m feeling right now. It’s painful to imagine him with other women, but it’s a whole other ballgame to see him walk away right in front of me to be with one.
I’ve been asked on a few dates over the past couple of years, and I’ve turned down every single one of them. His lips were the last to touch mine, and I wanted to keep it that way. No one’s ever compared to Ryder in my eyes.
Needing comfort from the one person who can give me some peace right now, I get up and go in search of my daughter. Travis and Sophia came by earlier so she could play with Max. I stepoutside and see everyone sitting on the outdoor sectional. Even though it’s warm, they have the fire table going as small flames lick the night air.
I look for Ryland as I walk over and don’t see her anywhere.
“Hey, Eve. Did you get everything set up?” Jake asks when I approach them.
“Yes. She’s going to love it when she sees it. Where’s Ryland?” I ask, looking around.
“Miles took her down to the beach for a walk.” Travis nods his head at the two figures I see in the distance down by the water. I smile as I see them together. Miles and I haven’t gotten to talk yet, alone, and I want to make sure we are good.
“I’m going to go talk to Miles.” Understanding reaches Jake’s eyes as he looks at me. He gives me a small wink of encouragement as I walk toward the deck stairs.
The sand is soft and warm from the day’s sun as my toes sink into it, and I make my way to the water’s edge.
“Momma!” Ryland’s sweet voice rings out as I get closer. She’s squatting down, looking at something in one of the water puddles that formed on the beach. “Stawfish!” She points her little finger, and I see a small starfish in the water.
“Oh, Ryland, that’s so amazing! It’s your first starfish.” I bend down to examine it with her. “Have you been having fun with Uncle Miles?” I glance up at him and meet his eyes for the first time. He gives me a small smile, and I breathe a little easier.
“My-My.” She points to Miles, and he laughs.
“My-My?” I raise my eyebrows at Miles, who shrugs his shoulders.
“I think the uncle part is still hard to say, so I became My-My. Jake sounds more like Wake, Travis is Twav, and Sophia is Fee. Max is the only one who’s still Max,” he laughs.
“That’s too adorable. She’s always been so shy and just wanting me. I can’t believe how more outgoing she is here.” Istand up and watch her pick up another shell to put in the pink bucket that Ryder got her today.
“She just knows we are family.” He watches her, and my heart swells at the love shining in his eyes. Even though he’s three years older than the last time I saw him, he still looks like the same Miles I know and love. His dark hair is shorter on the sides now and long enough on the top where it falls in his eyes every once in a while. Like Ryder, he has way more tattoos covering his body. His small eyebrow and lip piercing are new. It suits him, though, and just adds to his good looks. I bet his groupie list is a mile long after they see him play the drums.
“I’m sorry, Miles, for everything. I know I hurt you all, and I’ll live with that guilt for the rest of my life. You and Ryder are my best friends, and it destroyed me to leave without saying goodbye. I was just trying to do what I thought was best for you and your family.”
“I’m not going to lie, Eve. It wrecked Ryder. I had to watch him live with that pain day after day while I dealt with my own. I was so angry at you for so long. The not knowing was the worst. Ryder became obsessed with trying to find you. We even hired a PI. After a year, I finally talked him into letting it go, but he never could let you go in his heart.”
“I didn’t know about the PI. I’m sure my father found out about him and paid him off to keep quiet.”
“After what you told Ryder, that would make sense,” he sighs. “This is all sorts of fucked up, isn’t it?” He gives a small laugh.
“Yeah, it is,” I say softly, looking at my daughter and wishing things could have been different in the beginning. I swipe a tear away and hug my arms to my chest.
“I think we’ve all been absorbed in our pain to not notice yours. It must have been hard for you these past three years, too.” I meet his eyes and see the Miles I know and love as I fight to hold back the tears.
“You have no idea. If it weren’t for Ryland, I would have given up a long time ago,” I whisper. “She gave me the strength I needed to get out of bed each morning. You all were the only family where I’ve ever felt loved. He was my forever, and to have that taken from me and to live each day knowing I hurt the ones I loved the most in the world killed me.”
