He turns and walks out the door, leaving me standing there. I follow him back to the living room and quietly shut the door. He’s pacing back and forth, and I can tell he’s battling the fight between anger and hurt.
“She’s…” He holds up his hand to stop me.
“I can’t do this right now, Eve. It’s late, so you can stay here tonight. I’ll take the couch. I…” He closes his eyes briefly, and I can feel the tension coming off of him. “I need some air.” He leaves me standing there as he walks out the door and shuts it. My legs give out as I sink onto the sofa. I finally give in to the tears that I’ve been holding back as sobs rack my body. Seeing him again has brought up emotions that I’ve buried deep inside me.
I finally dry my eyes and go in search of a glass of water to soothe my raw throat before stepping outside and bringing in my bags that I left by the door. I wait for what seems like hours for him to return before finally laying down next to our daughter. I breathe in his scent on the pillow that I have craved every night since I left and finally fall into a restless sleep.
Small hands grasp my face,and I blink my eyes open to see my daughter sitting up, looking at me. “Momma,” she grins.
I look around, disorientated at first before I realize I’m in Ryder’s bed. I didn’t dream the whole thing. I’m actually here with him. I can’t help but grin back at my beautiful baby girl. “Hi, Rybug.” I bring her next to me and bury my face in her curls, inhaling the baby smell that I love so much. I know she’s two, but she still has a touch of babyness to her that I love. She giggles when I lift her shirt and blow a raspberry on her belly.
“Let’s get you out of this wet diaper, and I’ll see about getting you some breakfast. Are you hungry?”
She nods her head while I rummage through my bag and get out a pull-up. We are still working on the potty training. She does good during the day but still needs a diaper at night. I quickly change her and walk us quietly to the bathroom that’s connected to both the bedroom and living room. It’s a good size bathroom with a deep garden tub and walk-in shower. There’s a skylight above the tub, letting in lots of natural light. The white marble vanity sits on top of rustic wood drawers.
I freshen up as best as I can and run a comb through my long hair. I’m in desperate need of a shower but it will have to wait until later. I need to get some breakfast into this little one first.
Walking out into the living room, I stop in my tracks as I take in the man laid out on the couch. He’s even more breathtaking than I remember, if that’s even possible. Tattoos cover most of his chest now and down both arms. He’s filled out more like he’s been spending a lot of time in the gym. His grey sweats hang low on his hips, and I find myself following the dark trail leading down his flat abs.
Heat courses through my body. It’s been so long since I felt another man’s touch. I tear my gaze away and try to focus on anything other than what my body is clearly wanting right now. I shake my head to clear my thoughts.
Food. I need to get my daughter some breakfast.
There is a small kitchen off to the right with an island and a round wooden table next to the windows overlooking the pool and ocean. I sit the bundle in my arms down so I can look through my other bag. I get out the snacks I packed and pour some Cheerios into one of her bowls before grabbing a sippy cup. Finding some milk in the fridge, I fill it up before setting her up at the coffee table.
She happily eats while I check my phone. I’ve got twenty missed calls from my mom and a ton of texts that I don’t bother looking at. My father should be in custody by now, and my mom is probably having a mental breakdown. I left before they woke up, not even bothering to tell them I wasn’t going with them. They lost me as a daughter the moment they threatened Ryder and his family. I owe them no explanation.
“Hi,” I hear Ryder say softly. I glance up and see auburn curls right next to Ryder’s face. She’s touching his cheek just like she does to me to wake me up. Seeing the two of them together almost brings me to my knees. Tears gather, and I quickly swipe them away.
“I’m sorry she woke you. I didn’t see her walk over to you.”
He’s not paying attention to a word I said. All his focus is on her. He places his hand over hers and sits up slightly to really look at her. Searching her face, he gets pale, and a pained look crosses his face. My breath catches in my throat and I know he’s looking at his eyes staring back at him right now.
“Eve?” He whispers, breaking his gaze and looking at me for answers.
I nod my head as the tears fall down my face. “Her name is Ryland. I named her after her daddy. She’s your daughter, Ryder,” I say quietly.
He blinks back the tears that have immediately formed in his eyes before looking back at her. Touching her soft curls like hecan’t believe she’s real, he smiles at her, and she rewards him with a big grin, showing off her baby teeth. She holds out a Cheerio to him and he gives a slight laugh before taking it.
“Thank you,” he tells her.
“Yummy,” Ryland says, giggling before stuffing another one in her mouth.
“I don’t understand,” he says, looking back at me with a look that makes me want to drop to my knees and beg for his forgiveness. The hurt radiates off of him, and I can feel it to the depths of my soul like it was my own. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you leave? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“I need to tell you everything, and I will. I just can’t do it in front of her. As soon as we can be alone, I promise to explain.” I know I’m going to break when I tell him. It’s going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and I don’t want her to see us both upset. “Please, Ryder, I don’t want her to see me upset.”
He nods his head and runs a hand roughly through his hair. He glances back at Ryland and watches her every move as she happily drinks her milk and eats her cereal. “I need to make a phone call real quick and let them know I’m not coming into work today.” He gets up and grabs his phone off the counter.
“You don’t have to call off work for us. I need to find a place to stay today, and we can talk later tonight after you get off work and she’s gone to bed.”
“You don’t have a place to stay?” He looks at me in surprise.
“No, I came straight here from the airport. I didn’t know where else to go,” I bite my lip, and his eyes immediately go to my nervous habit. Images of him tugging it out with his teeth flood my mind. He’s done it a million times before, and I can tell from his eyes that he’s remembering, too.
He shakes his head as if to wipe the memory away before meeting my gaze again. “Where did you fly from?”
“Seattle,” I say quietly.
