According to Thames, I was not deemed worthy enough to know where the evil motherfucker that has been steering my life took off to... I couldn’t care less if they deemed me worthy, but it would have been nice to know what they were up to or where they were going. My father left this morning; Thames with him.Good fucking riddance. Their mistake, though, was giving me the hit of shadow magic I needed to ensure my escape, because one way or another I'm going to get out of this prison they want to keep me in. Thames said they didn’t want to come back to me being dead. What she doesn’t know is that when they return, I will be long fucking gone.
I refuse to live another day in the depravity of this wretched life I’ve come to loathe. I was used and abused my entire life. I’ve done things that are enough for my death ten times over, but I hope that I can talk to Raelle and prove that I have information that will help them. I only hope that I can get to them before it’s too late. Before I am taken over by the darkness that riddles my body and whatever my father has planned for Aldramani comes to fruition.
Even as I think it, hope tastes bitter on my tongue. But, much to my own shock, I have it.
I came to the decision fairly easily after I realized what they were doing. Every time Thames came into my chamber, I basically crawled to the table, where she gave me my dose of magic. Without it for longer than a few days at a time, I’m withering in pain, and my body begins to shut down until I get the next hit. I’ve hated myself a little more every time I was given pleasure from the putrid shadows taking my pain away. My ascended magic feels polluted and heavy. Unreachable. Like the gods have turned their backs on me and have deemed me just as unworthy as my father. I've realized that when you have shadows like these and your light has dimmed so much—there is no demon you fear anymore. I have nothing to fear and nothing to lose. I've lost everything already.
I’d rather swallow my pride. Choose to try and make up for any mistakes I’ve made in this life. I just hope that I’m not too late. Lucky for me, I have a guard left to keep watch over me that has a history of letting prisoners escape and a look of pity in his eyes.
“Here is your daily rations.” Flynn sets a tray of slop down on the small table where Thames usually performs her rituals. I slowly look up at him. He swallows hard before he starts backing out of the room, but he won’t be walking out of that door without me with him. His mistake was walking into the room—Thames evenwarned him not to. The fucker has always had a problem following orders as they’ve been given.
“You let him leave his prison. Why?” My words stop his exit, and he stares at me for a moment, considering my question. His brows pinch as he looks around the room.
“He didn’t deserve what was being done to him.” Again, pity paints his face as he looks at me and the situation I’m in, and I close my eyes slowly. Not wanting to see it.
“You’re right, and I see that now.” When I open my eyes and see the shock of my statement on his face, I continue, “I’ve had a sort of epiphany, being forced into the hell I’m in. I realize that everything I’ve done in my life has been for nothing. Everything I thought to be the truth was nothing but a wicked lie.” My eyes track his feet like a predator as I see him take a step backward. Sucking my teeth, my eyes twitch back up to meet his.
“Cano…” He puts his hands up defensively, shaking his head. As though he knows my intentions. But he doesn’t have any idea. If I wanted him dead, he would have been already. Picking my pride up from the floor, the bed creaks as I slowly get to my feet.
“I need your help, Flynn.” The shock of the statement is clear in his rounded eyes. “I hope that you, of all people, can see what is being done here for what it is. I’ve been led to believe lies my entire life, by my father no less. A man who was supposed to be dead all this time. A man I’ve killed and tortured in the name of…” Flynn’s face turns a blotchy red as he stands rooted in place, but I see the questions rising in him.
“What are you planning to do?” As soon as he says the words, a smile pulls my lips up at the corners.
“I’m going to do everything I can to derail the bastard’s plans and be the monster he created, but this time my teeth will be aimed for his fucking throat,” I growl the words through clenched teeth.
“I’ll help you escape, but you have to give me your word that I won't regret this Cano.” This is probably the easiest and truest promise I've ever given.
“I give you my word that you will not regret releasing me to wreak havoc on my enemies, Flynn. I've been a caged dog for a long time without even knowing. Used and abused for the gain of the one I sought vengeance for. I was merely a pawn in his grander scheme. I refuse to allow that piece of shit to win. I should have listened to my brother a long time ago. I should have… There is so much I should have done differently. I would have done differently had I known.” I shake my head, thinking about the lies and betrayals. Not only my fathers, but my own. I'll be lucky if they even hear me out. For the things I did or caused to happen… I’ll be lucky if Dax doesn’t strike me dead as soon as he sees my fucking face.
“It’s just me and a couple other guards here. Everyone else left with Soren and Thames to Castenelle.”
“Castenelle?”
“They said they had business retrieving something of great value. I wasn't able to get into the meetings they had discussing it, but some of the guards talked about overhearing some things… Fuck, I don’t know why I’m telling you this…I don’t even know if I can really trust you.” I didn’t think it was possible, but his face turns a shade darker than it already was.
I don’t know exactly why my father would want anything from Castenelle, but I do know that is where the family that Raelle thought was hers were killed. The lord of Castenelle made sure of it. I never questioned why because it aided in getting Raelle tome, but now I wish I had. There is a lot I wish I had questioned. Careless mistakes I won't make again if I have the opportunity. I may be walking right to my death, but I'm ok with that if I get any sort of redemption for the hell my father has caused in Aldramani with my unknowing hand.
“Get me out of here, Flynn. Let's get to Dax and Raelle.” His mouth presses into a firm line, and he stares at me for a moment in silence. The internal debate he's having in his head is as clear as the turmoil on his face. Finally, he nods and steps to the side, allowing me to leave the room I’ve kept residence in for too fucking long. The other guards are worthless to my father and do nothing to stop me when I walk past them.
The lot of them have more fear in their eyes at the sight of me walking toward them than a man on his way to hang at the gallows. They let me walk right out of the castle.
I take a deep breath, and I close my eyes as the fresh, cold air fills my lungs. Letting a small amount of shadows seep out of my fingertips, I let my eyes drift down while I watch them. I groan at the release of power, my body feeling elated at their use. They dance along the lengths of my hand and wrap up my wrists and along my forearms before dissipating entirely, leaving only a trail of goosebumps in their wake. One look at Flynn’s worried face says that he’s second guessing his decision at the sight of them. I don’t blame him.
“I have to use the magic in order to stay lucid. You’ve seen me when I don’t, and you’ve seen what it’s like for me when I run out of this shit. We need to get to Dax. Do you know where they are?”
“Loema.” He answers quickly, and I nod. We don’t have time to saddle horses or pack anything. The easiest way to get there is to shift. My wolf is faster than any horse anyway.
“Can you keep up?” I look over my shoulder at the pale guard.
“I’m faster than you think.” A grin twitches at my mouth before I nod at him, lifting my tunic over my head and tossing it to the ground.
“Let’s fucking go then, shall we?”
Chapter forty-three
I can’t help butworry about the way Raelle has been acting. Even when we were back in Loema, I felt as though something was off with her. As we finally make our way to the caves, she hasn’t said much about the vision she had in the village, and every time it’s brought up, her eyes shift. I know it was something bad; that much is clear, but I also know she can’t tell us everything.
“Are you ok?” I ask her again, because it’s all I can think to say.
