I wake with a jolt when the door swings open and hits the wall behind it. Maki is standing in the doorway frazzled, and I grunt, rolling over and pulling the blanket I somehow got underneath after falling asleep.
“It’s nearly noon. It would be best if you got up. You’re going to want to see what the sentries just reported.” He says as he makes his way across the room and opens the curtains, fully letting in the fog-filtered sunlight. My interest peaks, but the tired feeling doesn’t want to let me out of its clutches. I let out a heavy exhale as I force myself to sit up, rubbing sleep from my eyes and swinging my legs off the bedside with anoof.
“Where is all the food you had brought in?” I grumble, reaching for the glass of water on the bedside table. The only thing left of what was there before I went to sleep.
“It was spoiling; I had it removed. Would you hurry up?” My brows pinch as I continue to look at him and how he keeps peeking out the window.
“What did the sentries see?” I say with a yawn as I reach for my boots.
“Trent, for the love of the gods…” He spins on his heel, storming from the room, and I curse as I fumble, slipping my feet into my boots without lacing them and chasing after him. Maki is a lot of things, but frazzled is not particularly one of them. Whatever it is that the sentries saw has him on edge.
We walk through the castle, my boots clogging loudly because they are so loosely thrown on. I adjust my belt and check my weapons that are tucked there to ensure I at least have them ready, though I may very well lose my footwear if it comes to a battle. Rolling my eyes, I drop to my knee to tie the laces. Maki notices and groans, pinning me with a look of annoyance.
“What? I can barely walk with them loose like this. What if it comes to a fight?” He rolls his eyes and rubs a hand down his face before continuing his march from the castle. Hopping back to my feet, I smile at his back. I’m glad that he is still himself after everything. The thought makes the smile fall and my feet falter, but just as I do, Ambriel steps up next to me. Matching my pace, our fingers brush, and when our eyes meet, my stomach drops, and not just because of how much I wish I would have eaten. Ambriel’s golden skin deepens in color on her cheeks as a flush rushes there, and she smiles coyly before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and hurrying to catch Maki.
Before I turn the corner to exit the castle, a rumble of voices reaches my ears. All the guards that were standing sentinel are converging in the center of the grounds, looking toward the sky,and then I feel it. The power ripples across us, causing me to look up with them. When I see what they are seeing, my face freezes and the blood drains from it. I can’t believe the sight.
Emotion clogs my throat as regret for the past two days eats at me. For all the doubt I cast on Raelle and her leaving in the night with Alaric because as I stand there, rooted in pure awe, having done nothing, she is returning to us. She returns to us having accomplished what I failed to eventry.
Ambriel reaches out, gripping my wrist. Angling my head toward her, I press my lips together in a smile, and though I’m happy that Dax is alive, Raelle and Alaric found him… I’m disappointed. Disappointed in myself that she didn’t feel that I would be an asset to her, but instead took Alaric. Someone who is essentially a stranger to us all. Ambriel’s grip tightens, as though she senses where my head is, but she doesn’t say anything, and I’m thankful for her silent support.
Just as the four land, she releases my arm and runs over to them. I hurry over too, but I don’t need to because Dax is quicker. Before I knew it, he’s got me pulled into his arms, in an embrace as though I am only a child again. I squeeze him hard, and when he squeezes back harder, a game we used to play as kids, I burst out in laughter. Every feeling of being inadequate, every emotion of hurt, is replaced by elation because there is nothing else that matters in this moment. My big brother is back; he's alive. My smile spreads from ear to ear, and when Raelle joins us with an apologetic look on her face, I pull her into our embrace too. She doesn't need to be sorry for anything. What she’s given me is better than any words could ever be. The three of us squeeze together, and when her tears wet my shirt, everything falls away with them.
Once again, I find myself facing the harsh eyes of death as it looks down on me. As grateful as I was for Dax’s return, my heart aches for losing Miles. Dax just told me after dinner. The news causing the food I just ate to sour in my stomach.
The wind blows through the trees, causing a howl to whistle through them, and I close my eyes, sitting at the top of the hill, looking over Loema. I asked everyone to just leave me alone for a bit, but Raelle refused to allow it. I understand her reasoning. We don’t know what is going to come of Dax’s escape. I am still shocked athowhe escaped. That Flynn was the one who came to his aid.
“Miles died a warrior's death.” Dax’s voice breaks through my grief causing tears to well in my eyes. I chew my lip, thinking about everything Miles did for us. Thinking of the man that he helped me become. There isn’t a world I can imagine that he didn't exist in. My father saw something in him all those years ago, and now I wonder, all the way back then, if it were divine intervention that he be there for Dax—to save him. He was always like a guardian angel, watching over us.
“He did. He wouldn't have had it any other way.” I close my eyes, and in doing so, the tears that filled them fall as I tilt my face back to let the night soak me in the moonlight. Since Raelle has been back, I've felt the power of the moon every night. It makes me curious about what the townspeople are talking about, her being the moon Raven, the Luna Queen. They are saying that it's been foretold by the gods that she will bring the kingdom back to what it once was.
The people love her already, and most have not even laid eyes on her.
Miles loved her.
Fuck.
I grind my teeth, and Dax reaches down, gripping my shoulder. “I just—I wish I could have been there. Maybe there would have been something I could have done to help, save him or save you. Maybe he wouldn’t have died…” When I look up, I see Dax shake his head, but he looks up to the moon wistfully and I know that though he's trying to be calm for me, he's breaking just as much, if not more.
I laugh, and Dax looks at me with a quirked brow. “Do you remember all the times Miles caught us doing things that we weren't supposed to be doing? He never told Pa any of it. Sometimes I wonder if Ma and Pa knew half the shit that we were getting up to as kids… And when we got older?” My laugh trails off as I look over at Dax and see the pained look on his face.
“He wouldn't want us to be sad about him being gone. He would want us to remember the good times, live on, and make him proud. I'm just glad it wasn’t Cano that killed him.” I see the twitch in Dax’s jaw mentioning Cano. Everything he’s been responsible for—I can’t help but think about if things had been different. He used to be different. But I guess we all have growninto something or someone we weren't back then. That's the thing about life. We grow and change. What we grow into is up to our decisions with what fate gives us. I understand that now.
Dax sits next to me, then bumps my shoulder with his. “The world is cruel, and fate tests us sometimes in ways we can’t understand. But Trent?” I sweep my head over to look at him. “Sometimes we don’t make the right decision when Fate tests us.” His brows pinch and I get the feeling he’s talking from experience. “Sometimes we think we’re making the right decision for everyone, but in reality we are just hiding from the truth. Miles’ last words to me were essentially, to own some of my decisions of the past…”
“What are you saying, Dax?” It's not like him to open up like this, and I don’t want to push him, but I also need to know what he’s talking about.
“I’ve thought all these years that my shadow magic is what killed Ma and Pa…” There is a pregnant pause as he waits for me to react to that information, and while my wheels are spinning, I quickly shake my head.
“There is no way. Why did you not say something? Dax, you’ve lived with this for this long?” The way he's been since Ma and Pa died makes so much more sense now. But no matter what he says, I know it can't be true. If it were, I know he would have put as much space between me and Ella that he could get. He didn't think that he was really a danger to us. That’s got to be just what he told himself.
“I think Pa had shadows too, Trent. The night of the accident, he was arguing with someone, and there was a blast of darkness. When it hit, I lost control—only for a moment—but when my shadow magic cleared… Ma and Pa were—dead. The person they were arguing with turned their back and strode from theroom so quickly that I couldn’t even think. Everything happened so fast. Only as the man was closing the door did he stop, flicking a fire to life on the curtains. He didn't know I was there; I saw it all.”
My face is scrunched as I think about everything that he’s telling me. “Who?” I ask him, a deep crease forms between my eyes.
“Soren Croix. And he’sstillalive.”
Chapter thirty-three
