I don’t turn to face her fully. But I say “I don’t need to explain myself to you. We are done here. I will submit my report and we will determine if you are a candidate to stay in our city under asylum.” I continue my way to the hall and leave the door open behind me for Kait to follow. What surprises me is that it’s not Kait who follows, but Raelle. She grabs me by the crook of my elbow to stop me. She pulls hard for me to face her. I allow it because well,the girl has mirth. I look down at her hand where it still remains on my arm. She notices my gaze, and quickly removes her hand tucking it back into her body, but before she lets go I swear I feel a zap, and the way her eyes light I think she felt it too. My power is so close to being known, my emotions too wild. I need to get out of here.
“I’m sorry, I don’t say that lightly. I know this is a lot. I understand if you want to send me away or don’t want to trust me, but I do hope you come to understand that I am here to help. I was drawn to this place. Something or someone here is meant to cross my path. I feel it. I feel a humming presence deep in my gut, and its only gotten stronger the longer I’ve stayed.” I clear my throat as I feel it constricting, and I say to her in the most placating tone I can manage.
“Oh Rae, don’t think I want to send you away...” I take a step closer to her, so we are less than a foot apart, and look down at her. She has to raise her chin to make eye contact with me. My skin is vibrating, and my chest is tight like the air is being sucked from my lungs. “I would rather lock you up and wait until you are of use to us, and then let you out to unleash your power on the motherfuckers who think they are better than us. After that, I couldn't care less what happens to you.”
She steps back and raises her hand to hold her throat as if trying to restrict the emotion she has building. Her silence is deafening, her eyes narrow and I feel it again deep in my gut. The same humming she spoke of then it’s gone as quick as it came, almost as if I imagined it completely.
Raelle is going to either be my making or breaking, I feel it in my bones.
Chapter six
After the shifter attackand running for our lives, I have a hard time settling my racing heart. Breathing is difficult with the overwhelming pressure I feel sitting on my chest. I need to figure out what the hell is happening in my life. Being stuffed into this cave, the small space is suffocating. Not only our bodies fill the space, but all the questions we have clog the air too. Trent and Kait look at me like I have all the answers, which—I don’t. I don’t have a godsdamn one. Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to take a deep breath but the weight of everything is making it difficult. My back presses against the cold cave wall where I sit and I pull my knees up to my chest, hugging them. I try to relieve the tightness there.
Trent asks me a question, but I can’t hear him over the pounding of my heart in my ears. I feel the panicattack creeping in, my breaths growing shorter with each influx of air. I close my eyes and rest my forehead on my knees, my arms squeeze around my legs tighter as I try to force my breathing into submission. Pulling in a breath as deep and slow as I can to get past this without either of the two… I guess, not strangers from figuring out that I’m freaking out.
“I’m sorry, I need a second,” I say between pants, my voice muffled into my knees. Neither Trent nor Kait says anything, at least nothing I can hear. I sit there for a minute, or has it been an hour? I’m not sure.
Finally feeling steady enough to breathe, I lift my gaze up to theirs. Taking one more deep breath; I’m prepared to have this conversation. No matter how nervous I am to find out what I’ve lost. “Okay, So I know I’m Raelle Apus. I was a cadet at the Lesa Combat Training Center for two years but when my parents and brother died a year ago, I dropped out. I was looking into their deaths because I never got straight answers from the Lord of Castenelle. I think that’s when things started getting weird for me. I felt like I was being watched or tracked. So, I tried to go off-grid for a while. I—I followed a lead to what I was told was Demetrey territory but just on the outskirts.” Trent nods like he knows the story and looks hopeful. I nervously push dirt around with my finger, leaving small swirls drawn on the cave floor, and reluctantly continue. “I don’t remember what happened when I followed that lead though. I mean, I remember bits and pieces, but I—I remember running from someone. I felt a pull in the direction of a nearby town. I trudged on foot as long as I could while trying to hide from those chasing me. I finally made it through a small patch of forest after having a run-in with a wolf shifter. The townthere… As I got closer, it was like a beacon calling me home. I was planning to seek refuge, but I—I don’t remember anything after that.”
Kait lets out a breath with a whoosh. “This is going to be fun to explain to Cano.” She says, making eye contact with Trent as she scrunches up her nose. Trent runs both hands through his long hair and links his fingers behind his head.
“Well shitty as it is beautiful, that is the precise moment you landed with all of us miscreants. Cano is the Lord and General of Ravendene. He’s um, also kind of your… boyfriend? I think…” Kait snorts, rolling her eyes at his words, but doesn’t say anything else. Trent pulls his hands down his face, bringing them down to slap his thighs. “I guess that's where we start. Huh? About eleven months ago, when you crashed into our lives,” he says with a rueful grin.
Elevenmonths of memories are gone, if not more. I’m having trouble remembering even some of the time before then. Everything that happened after I found out about my family's deaths is spotty; chunks of my life are missing and out of line. I feel as though time has been ripped away from me. How did this happen? I think I fell back in the tunnels when Trent, Kait, and I were apparently split up, but what if something else happened? What if whoever was chasing me did this to me? Quietly, I say to them both, “There was a woman back in the tunnels. Before I was able to escape. She wasn’t alone. There was a man too.”
“Did you see them?!” Trent exclaims.
“I did. I mean I saw the female, but I couldn’t get a good look at her. The tunnels were poorly lit. I couldn’t see her face. She wascloaked and the shadows were too thick.” I shake my head with disappointment. “I’m sorry.”
Kait scoots a little closer to me and rests her hand on my elbow which is still holding my knees. “It’s ok Rae. We will figure out the details later, and in the meantime, we will get the cure for Dax. Dax needs to be our main priority. Then we need to get back home to make a plan to take out these Demetrey. They are the cause of all our trouble. They don’t deserve their position in the Kingdom they have, and they have done enough to innocent people. They deserve an ending full of pain and suffering." She squeezes my arm, tilting her head so she can get a better view of my face. "Is there anything else from the tunnels you remember?”
I think back on when I woke up underground, what I could remember. I was pretty shaken and trying to recover from whatever had happened to me. “I don't remember anything else.”
“Entering the territory of Demetrey without prior approval isn’t punishable by death. Unless something has changed…. Do you think everything with Dax has changed things?” Kait says as she pinches the bridge of her nose and then groans, gritting her teeth. “This is so frustrating. We just need to get to the cure. Snagging some simple ingredients shouldn’t be this difficult!” She slams a fist to the ground and then lays on her side. She lets out a huff of breath and closes her eyes. “I’m going to get some rest. One of you can have the first watch, I don’t care who.” She rolls over, putting her back to us.
Kait doesn’t say so much as another word for the rest of the night. She needs to sleep to heal quicker in these lands. It's an old magic that many territories practice now. It wasn’t that way when the King and Queen were alive, but it was never outlawed.However, that doesn’t necessarily matter when the kingdom fell just over two decades ago, and the Demetrey has taken rule for the most part, at least that’s what they’ve been trying to do.
“I don’t think I could sleep right now if I tried. So, if you’d like me to take the first watch, you can get some rest. I have no problem with that.” I tell Trent.
“Thanks, but I’m not sure I could sleep either right now. Is there anything you want to know about since we have time for a chat? I mean about life the last… almost year?” He asks with a forced smile.
I do have so many questions, but I don’t know where to start. I want to know everything. I want to know if I ever found anything out about my family’s deaths, what happened to get me into the tunnels, my life back in Ravendene… I think back on what they have already told me. I have a boyfriend in Ravendene, I suppose I should know a little about that. “You mentioned I had um…had a boyfriend? Cano, right? If we are together, why didn’t he come with us on this mission?” I ask after many moments of reluctance.
Trent snorts a little laugh then clears his throat. “I’m going to tell you about Cano with as many unbiased opinions as I can.” He rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath. “So, like I told you before, Cano is our leader. The Lord of Ravendene, General of the Ravendene Regime. He’s a strict leader when it comes to sanctioned and unsanctioned missions, the latter is a most definite no…” He pauses for a moment. “That is what resulted in the curse placed on Dax, which we are currently trying to find the cure for. So, we kind of figured that he wouldn’t approve of this request either.” He shrugs. “He has made it fairly clear he thinks Dax got what he deserved. For defying him. Dax and Cano butt heads on the bestof days so to be honest, I don't think Cano would have approved regardless of if he had given him permission or not. So, we planned to leave while Cano was on a run of his own.” Trent's gaze is trained on me, the way his eyes follow my every movement. I know he's trying to figure out if I recall any of what he's telling me. I don't.
I raise my eyebrows as I shake my head as I try to understand what he's telling me. “So just for clarification, I lied to my boyfriend about this mission? Snuck out of the place I was safe in, and into enemy territory, only to lose all memory of the last year or more of my life. Including memories of ever meeting him… I see why you both are concerned about telling Cano when we return.” I laugh a little. “Tell me we at least left a note and he’s not out searching for us.”
Trent's lips split into a wide smile, “We paid off one of the gatekeepers to keep our secret until his return. Once Cano returned to the village, he was to inform him of our escapade. You made it very clear in your missive that you wanted him aware of what we were doing and why you felt it justified.” He laughs.
I feel the heat rise to my neck a little with embarrassment. I know I can be… passionate about things. So, I can only imagine how colorful that message could be. I don’t dwell on minor details though and I ask the pressing question. “Why did I think it was justified to lie to my boyfriend and Lord of Ravendene though? To risk my life, and both of yours, to try and find this cure for a curse Dax got himself into?” I see Trent tense the smallest amount telling me he’s worried that whatever it is he tells me I may not feel the same way now that I don’t have my memories.
Trent sucks his teeth then says, “Well… it’s been an ongoing issue with members of our village going missing, it’s not just ours either the other territories are also noticing the problem. Seems they have just vanished. Which shouldn’t be possible when we have a shield in place on our territory much like the Demetrey territory has in a way. Anyway, most people who have vanished have been elderly… people of low skill sets or power levels. But recently they have been taking more high-profile members of the community, and people who have more power.” I see emotion building in his eyes. He clears his throat and starts again. “The reason Dax left on an unsanctioned mission was because the last person to go missing was our younger sister. Mel was only 11 years old, and showing signs of power that 11-year-olds don’t typically show. Cano wouldn’t allow a search party for her.” His throat bobs as he swallows back the emotion clogging there. This is a hard conversation for him.
“Dax is your brother.” It’s not a question. After hearing about the young girl and why Dax went on the mission, I understand why he did it. I would do anything to get to my brother had the roles been reversed. My voice is low, and heavy with emotion when I speak again. “Dax did the right thing. I understand now why I would have agreed to do everything I could to help. I would do anything to be able to see my brother again.” I tell him as I reach for his hand and give it a light squeeze. Surprisingly, it doesn’t feel foreign to do. Which makes me wonder if I have done this with him many times. He smiles knowingly at me, giving my hand a gentle squeeze in return.
“You tried to convince Cano. You all but begged for him to allow just a small search party to look for Mel. You did it for Dax, as much as you did it for me, but I know that it was the love for your brother that fueled your reasoning. I honestly thought ifanyone could convince Cano it would be his—er, girlfriend. He just wouldn’t do it. He and Dax have grown further and further apart since my parents passed away. Since Cano's parents passed. Dax was… Well, he’s an asshole, but he is my brother first and I can’t see him die too. Before he left it seemed like the two of you were starting to open up to each other… I could be totally wrong because you are both secretive fucks.” He laughs then gripping the back of his neck. “But on more than one occasion I had a feeling I was um… interrupting an important… conversation.” I stitch my brows together trying to remember anything, but I get nothing yet again.
“You and me, we have become pretty close in the weeks before we left while planning this mission—even before that. Cano kind of kept you to himself until Mel disappeared, but I think with you and Dax going at him with the mission requests he kinda backed off somewhat. I’m sorry about how royally fucked it turned out, but at the very least I’m grateful it brought us close. Well… at least until you lost all memory of me.” He laughs a little and I smile at it. “I really do consider you one of my best friends Rae.” He says as he strokes his thumb over the back of my hand.
