Getting laid was so much easier when nobody cared who I was. I could hit the local bar and land someone decent looking enough sober. Or maybe the club where I could grind against someone willing to finger me without even seeing my face.
It didn’t feel right doingithere, in this body, but if I was to survive for the foreseeable future, this was one of my needs that demanded addressing. Like food and water. Like air.
I wanted to do it all the same. It would be a whole new experience that I had always been curious about. I dreamt about it constantly. If that made me a despicable and shameful woman, I didn’t care. I should have freedom over my body.
I gave in to the urge. Dressed in only a thin cotton dress, I slid my hands over my breasts, and lamented over the fact this body had bigger, perkier boobs than what I had. I tugged my nipples, enjoying the tiny spark of pleasure, before I brought one of my hands lower to where my body ached for the most right now.
Pushing the edge of my dress higher on my hips, my fingers traced my exposed skin. I opted not to wear any underwear tonight because I knew I would get the need with how horny I was earlier.
Reuben’s whispered words, Robin’s innuendos, Eli’s heated gaze.
Fuck.
I plunged a finger in my core, gathering up the wetness to my clit, circling the sensitive area. I moaned into my darkened room before remembering I was somewhere with probably thin walls.
Didn’t matter. I played with my nipple with one hand as I toyed with my clit with the other, feeling the pleasure build up,trying to rein in my sounds. I closed my eyes and imagined Robin’s tongue on my vacant nipple, aching to be sucked, while Reuben replaced my hand on my pussy with his mouth. I wondered how Elias would kiss me again after all these years as I worked myself faster and faster to chase the high, my hips lifting off the bed.
“Come for us, Bea,” a ghost of a whisper sounded in my ear as I let out a strangled cry, coming on my hand. I drew in breaths, mind clearing from the fog of horniness as the orgasm subsided. Using my hand would do for now, but nothing beat the feel of a cock sliding in and out.
When I finally caught my breath, I realized I didn’t know if the voice I heard was imagined too. But when I opened my eyes, pupils already adjusted in the dim light, I was still alone in my room.
It was definitely my imagination, but it felt too real at the same time.
I fell asleep almost immediately after I put a temporary pause on my carnal needs by dealing with it myself. Mia found me tangled in my sheets before she went to work, cleaning me up and dressing me. She insisted on having me wear a new dress, but I didn’t do much in the past day; my previous dress was still clean. I grinned as I headed downstairs, wearing my spoils of war.
“Good morning, my lady,” Robin greeted us while Reuben gestured to a table filled with food. They really were well-trained soldiers. How the heck could they wake up earlier than me, get suited in armor, and have time to acquire breakfast? I could never.
Elias joined us at the table, and we had a heavy breakfast, with the intention of stopping only for bathroom breaks as we continued our travel towards Aerahelm.
Halfway through the day, Reuben knocked on the window of my carriage as he rode alongside on horseback. I slid open the tiny glass pane to hear what he had to say.
“We’re approaching another town. We could stop here shortly and rest before moving onward to the next town, where we’d settle for the night.”
I scrunched my eyebrows. “Are we still in Viscount Drakon’s territory?”
“Yes,” Reuben answered, mixed with curiosity.
I didn’t like that man for how he treated Elias, so I didn’t want to stay here any longer than we had to. “If nobody else is tired from the trip, I would like to continue our trip to the next town. Whose land is that?”
“The following two towns we will pass after is Viscount Strom’s territory.”
My brain recalled whatever information I had about Viscount Strom. He was an average noble, nothing special, and his reputation was preceded by his eldest son. The son was a professor at Aerahelm and one of the best Water mages in recent years. Instead of lending his power to the war effort, the Crown Prince himself assigned him to the magic academy, to “foster potentials” like him.
Concluding it was fine to stay in their town, I gave the confirmation to Reuben, who took charge in relaying my decision to the rest of the entourage.
I could sense Mia watching me from the corner of my eye. “What is it, Mia?” I asked, because I was a nosy bitch.
“O-oh! I’m sorry for staring, my lady,” she stuttered and lowered her head, as if she needed to do that in my presence. I reached over and tapped her knee to make her look up again.
I tilted my head at her. “Well, what is it you’re thinking about?”
She gave me a careful smile, her cheeks turning pink. “I’m glad you’re back to your cheerful self. The past few months had been difficult for the entire estate. I thought you’d try to delay your schooling because of how withdrawn you were, and I was so surprised when you said you’re excited about it.”
Oh. My. God.
Outside, I was as calm as a capybara, complete with a smile and chill attitude. Inside, I was raging like a wild bear in complete disarray and panic. Because how the hell did I not know that? That OG Bea was going through a depressive episode beforeIcame along? Of course going from mellow to hyper would be weird!
And during the past two weeks, I thought I was clever and maintained the façade.
