“I don’t mind being in harm’s way! I can handle it, Maxim. I have been handling it foryears. Last summer you supported us when we went guns blazing to take down Cillian. You had no concern about me putting myself in danger then, but what, now it’s different because now I’m about to be your womb to protect?”
She spits this last bit and I reel away from her like she’s slapped me.
I blink, and her face falls from anger to something almost like remorse for the second time today. She shuts her eyes for a moment and turns her back to me.
“I didn’t mean it,” she says, voice so quiet now. “I know you?—”
I what? What does she think she knows? That in one month married to her I have come to adore her? Cherish her beyond every worldly possession? That I think of every person I’ve ever encountered in this world, she might be the most unique and splendid of all of them?
She cannot know this, but then again how can she not? Is it not in my every glance, every action, every thought of her?
How could I have misstepped so horribly to make her think she means nothing more to me than a vessel to grow a child?Where, in trying to erect some emotional barriers between my flayed open heart and her walled up one, did I make her think she was not invaluable to me?
I step behind her and lower my mouth near her hair. My hand hovers over her hip, but I think better of it.
“Forgive me for being a brute,” I plead. Her breath hitches when my fingers fall on her upper arms. “I am not ungrateful for your cleverness. I need you to know that I am on your team. When you act alone, I don’t know how to protect you, but if you’ll be patient with me, I believe we can be stronger for working together.”
I gently spin her around to face me again. Her lips are pressed into a tight line, but she nods.
Retrieving the ice pack from her hand, I press it lightly against her cheek for her.
“Thank you for your help,” I say.
Marianna puts her hand over mine to take the ice, her cold fingers like a live wire against the back of my hand. Her eyes drop to my mouth, and I think she’s going to kiss me again. I could never stop her.
She presses her mouth into a line and hardens her expression once more.
“I never promised you tenderness, Maxim,” Marianna says, her shoulders tugging back, chest puffing up as she stares up at me with defiant eyes. “I promised you a child and a wife. So I’ll fuck you, and I’ll come to your parties and I’ll smile like a doll, pretend I’ve never killed anyone, like I’m the wife you’ve always dreamed of having. I’ll give you a baby, and I’ll teach it how to fight too. And that will have to be enough for you.”
She waits for a response instead of storming off in her normal fashion. I scan her face, the frizzy little curls around her forehead, the bruises on her cheeks.
Is that all this is, really? A business deal?
I’ve always looked for love where it wasn’t, trusted too readily. At least she is forthright about her feelings and expectations. There’s no deception with Marianna.
“Right,” I agree, and her eyes darken into something unreadable.
“I need a shower,” Marianna says. She doesn’t look at me again before stalking out of the kitchen and upstairs to our room.
I heave a heavy breath in her absence, the quiet after the storm she is, the tornado she’s been in my life, whirling about me, bringing up all of my long-buried insecurities and feelings and twisting them around.
I pour vodka into a short glass, hoping a drink will lessen the tension in my shoulders and chest. In all the months watching Marianna in my club, I never imagined she could be mine, that she could make my blood boil and make me crave her while possessing her, my own wife, but not close tomine.
The glass shatters in my hand, little shards flying over the counter. My fist clenches and unclenches at my side as I breathe through gritted teeth.
I walk to the sink and thrust my hand under the faucet to wash away the small amount of blood. I take the moment alone to lean on the counter and hang my head, wondering how one man can fuck a sham of a marriage up so royally?
28
MARY
Two daysafter I beat Ivan Morozov’s ass, the swelling is down and the bruises on my face are totally coverable with some makeup. Just in time, too, because we have to attend a charity event that’s so obnoxiously expensive, I determine immediately that I can take no-one seriously. It’s long and boring, but I look exceptionally hot in this deep blue dress that shows, like, my entire fucking back.
Willa, despite the infant baby, still insisted she pick my outfit and coordinated with Anette to come to the penthouse to do my hair into an updo that’s still curly but absent of the usual frizz. Miraculous what can be done with enough products.
She also got Maxim a matching pocket square, and I’m humble enough to admit that together we look like anexceptionallyhandsome pair.
It’s been tense between us, probably thanks to me avoiding any and all serious conversation and alone time with him like the plague. He’s been moody, too, it’s not just me grumping about all the time, he does his part.
