He shakes his head. “I’m not. But Candice refused to let anyone know who the father truly was, including the man himself. I’m the only father Reginald is ever going to have. The saddest part is that I always wanted to be a good dad, but she kept me from seeing him.”
“But…but why would she do that?”
I have to stop and remember this is the same woman who repeatedly placed plastic surgery pamphlet suggestions in my bag. A woman who is so superficial that it’s glaringly obvious from the first second of meeting her just how little care and regard she has for anyone else. I thought Reginald was the exception to that, and for his sake, I tolerated her, but now I’m hearing she created an entire world for herself based solely on using and hurting others.
“She saw Reginald as hers. I was just the means to an end. She never wanted to share. I guess in that way, she did have some motherly instincts.”
“She does love Reg to a fault.” I’ll cede to that. But I’m realizing just how unhealthy that is. “I didn’t for a second think Reg and I would ever get married. I think I always knew we were a bad match, but even if we were a great one, I don’t think I could have handled having her as a mother-in-law.”
“She did relent as far as to give me two calls with Reginald a year.”
Two? This man’s own mother and father didn’t believe him. He’s lived his life with this horrible black cloud hanging over his head. He was hurt and used. Even after all of that, he was willing to claim and raise a child that wasn’t his, and then Candice had the lady stones to keep him from seeing Reg? I have no real way to even comprehend something like that.
“As far as anyone knew, Reginald was mine, and I think her family finally got through to her. A boy needs his dad. But she did say if I ever poisoned him against her, I could kiss my comfortable life as I knew it goodbye.”
“That’s horrible. It makes me...oh my god.” I bow my head, drawing in long gulps of air. “I think I’m the one who needs an antacid.” But not really. Nothing is going to touch the nasty sensation burning up my throat.
“I wasn’t afraid for my reputation. My parents were, though. I bowed to their wishes and let them dictate how things went until I had a degree and my own money. By then, I’d settled for two phone calls a year and a few updates and photos from Candice. Reginald appeared to be doing well. He was a happy, healthy child. I didn’t want to fuck up his life, and by then, I don’t know… maybe that’s all I would have done.”
“I don’t think so.” Shit. My cheeks are wet. I didn’t even realize I was crying. “I think he needs to know the truth.”
“Maybe. In time. But that would involve having a relationship with him that was well established, and I can’t do that because he is where he is, and I am where I am. He needs to mature, and he needs to want to know me as a person. Even if it was his decision, I truly believe Candice would try and ruin it with lies. I don’t want to tell Reginald what really happened. If he believed me—and he has no reason to—he would hate his mother, and for that, he would only hate me too. He hates me already, and all I’ve wanted is to try to get to know him.”
I’m melting on the spot, sinking into a pile of sorrow. I have to get myself under control. The last thing anyone wants is to be pitied. Warrick has done what he could, salvaged a life out of a mess that wasn’t his fault. He’s tried to be a good person and do the right thing in a situation that’s so very wrong, and that’scommendable.
“I don’t think he hates you,” I offer, though it’s never going to be nearly enough. I swipe at my wet cheeks. “I think apathy is probably closer, and that’s the opposite of hate.”
I want to do something, but I’m in no position to offer comfort. I have to just stand here and offer useless platitudes, even if it does seem like this man needs a hug in the worst way. We’re not friends. I can’t cross a line, even if that line is just basic humanity. All I can do is try to be supportive while trying not to give him false hope.
My heart hurts so much for this man, and he’s little more than a stranger. I’m also burning with fury on behalf of all the people out there who get blamed for things they didn’t do and for all the people who have been victimized for real and will never come forward.
This world is so painful. It can be full of people who do horrible things to each other.
But I don’t want it to just be that. I’ve known so much love from my parents, from my granny, from my aunts and uncles,and my friends. My existence was far from lonely, but even though he had all the money in the world, I don’t think that’s been true for Warrick.
He needs someone. Something…
“You should get a pet,” I blurt.
Like he’s followed every single silent thought, he offers a half smile, but it doesn’t chase away the shadows in his eyes. “I have one. A dog. He’s in the garage.”
“Oh my god! Warrick!” I flap my arms like a bottom-heavy chicken that’s trying to take flight. “You…you didn’t tell me about a dog! You can’t just lock an animal in the garage when it’s this hot! No one’s fed or given him water. Oh god. Oh no.”
“Wait.” He shoves back his chair and puts both hands up like he can stop me from hyperventilation. “I’m sorry. It’s not a real dog. It’s. Not. A. Real. Dog.”
“Okay. Holy shit,’ I rasp. I have to fan myself. I need air. I need to get it in front of my face faster with my hand. That’s a thing, I swear.
“Now I’ve almost given youandyour granny heart attacks. It’s a robot dog. He’s not done yet. He’s a project I’ve been working on in my spare time,” Warrick says.
“Right. Because you’re a mechanical engineer, and doing really hard and impossible things that go way beyond mental math is fun for you.”
His smile doesn’t grow, but it doesn’t fade. I guess I’d call it half a smirk, and my god, it looks good on him. It does wonders to transform his face. It makes his eyes a little bit…twinkly. Twinkly on this man is dangerous. “Something like that. Would you like to see him?”
“I would love to see him.” I don’t think I can finish off my sandwich right now, so I put it in the fridge. “Warrick?”
“Hmm?”
I wipe my sweating palms on my flowy black dress. “I’ll never tell anyone what you told me. It’s not my story. I just wanted you to know that I can keep a secret.”
