The reality was, whether I wanted to or not, I was already unraveling.
8
Skye
I’dbeenplanningthisvisit for a couple of days, but my hands still shook as I drove up to my old family home. It was small, but less run-down than I remembered. This was the house I grew up in, where it all began. The house where I learned to keep quiet, and where I learned pain. A shiver skittered down my spine. I picked at my skin without abandon. I didn’t have the mental capacity to even try to stop myself.
I’d been surprised when I’d researched my brother and realized that he still lived here.
My heart skipped a beat, pounding so fast it was physically painful. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as fear spiked through me.
Could my heart literally burst?
I pressed a hand to my chest, speaking low to myself. “You’re okay. You’re not dying.”
It took me a moment to chase what I knew was an irrational fear away. A heart couldn’t burst from this. At least, I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to. I’d gotten used to controlling the random panic that had plagued me since I’d almost died in front of Fox when we were onlyeighteen. Sometimes, my body tried to convince me I was dying for no good reason.
When my heart and panic were under control, I opened my eyes and glanced back at the house. It had been so long since I’d seen my brother. The prospect of seeing him, looking him in the eye, was terrifying and exciting.
Guilt stirred within me as I remembered the last words I’d said to Ash.I’ll be back for you.
I pulled at the skin around my thumbnail. I’d had every plan to come back for my little brother when I finished college. Had every intention of staying in contact with him. But it was almost impossible. Our controlling father wouldn’t let me. Every time I tried to call, it was intercepted. He took away Ash’s phone, his social media…anything I could contact him with. I’d even shown up here after my first semester, in the middle of the night, hoping I could slip into his bedroom window, but our father caught me. As a local beat cop, he still had more power over me than I’d wanted to admit.
He said if I ever showed up on his property again, I’d be thrown in the county jail. Or worse. And I believed him. I stayed away, lost contact with my brother, and staved off the eroding guilt by keeping myself busy with life and my career.
Tears burned in my eyes, and I sucked in a steadying breath. It was time. I didn’t care what my father did to me anymore. My brother was a grown man now who could make his own decisions.
Steeling myself, I stepped out of my vehicle. I curled my hands into fists, squeezing so hard my nails bit into my palms. It didn’t stop the tremble in my limbs.
I scanned the small yard, senses on high alert. The windows were dark, but I looked for any sign of my father’s stare peeking out at me. There was no movement. No indication he was ready to pop out at me. My nerves eased a fraction. Maybe no one was home. The thought comforted me, but would also be inconvenient. I needed to talk to Ash.
My past life flashed before me as I stepped up onto the bare concrete slab in front of the door. This place felt like home and a nightmare all at once.
There was no doorbell. There never had been. No door knocker. I opened the rusting metal storm door, wincing at the squeal the hinge made, and then banged my fist on the front door.
Silence.
I shifted on my feet, propping the storm door open with my hip. My heart still raced, almost making me dizzy. I pulled in lungfuls of fresh air, trying to talk myself out of bolting back to the car.
“I’m not dying,” I whispered low to myself. “I’m just scared.”
It annoyed me that sometimes my brain wanted me to think that any little odd physical sensation in my body was something silently killing me. I’d gotten so much better through the years at keeping the panic attacks at bay, but still, in times of great stress like this, my grip was harder to keep.
Then I heard footsteps.
My skin broke out in a sweat, but it wasn’t my father. The sound of his thumping feet through the house was ingrained into my memory. The cadence was off.
The lock flipped on the door and it opened.
My breath caught in my throat as I met his mossy-green eyes for the first time in years. He had been a kid when I left. A teenager. But the person looking back at me, stare widening, was all man.
His strong jaw was covered in a short beard, his face was…fuller somehow. More masculine. He was almost a whole head taller than me now, his body no longer lanky, but muscled and broad.
He blinked at me a few times, like he wasn’t sure what he was seeing was real. “S-Skye?” he choked out, and my heart twinged at the catch in his voice.
My jaw fell open. I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting. Maybe I’d stopped myself from wondering what he looked like as a man, but this was…overwhelming.
“Ash?” I squeaked, part of me doubting this was actually him.
