I stifled another sob.
Part of me wanted to believe him, but another part knew that me leaving had changed everything for him.
“If I hadn’t left—” I started, but my voice broke.
Ash groaned softly, shifting uncomfortably. “This was my choice.”
The tears came faster now. “Why did you choose to hurt Fox?” I croaked, my chest shuddering.
His face hardened. “I didn’t think he was good enough for you.”
The words hit like a slap. I looked away. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t true. Fox had always been better than me. It was one of the reasons I’d walked away when I was eighteen. But I wasn’t that girl anymore. I had learned, grown. I was proud of who I’d become and what I’d survived.
Despite everything—despite my failures, my trauma—I had hope I’d grow stronger still.
I forced myself to meet my brother’s gaze again. To look at the man who had made these grave, irrevocable choices. Choices that were his alone. Not mine. Not even our father’s.
They were his to face.
More tears streaked my cheeks. “You’re wrong about Fox,” I whispered. “You’ve been wrong about so many things.”
“I’m—sorry.” His face crumpled in pain…and maybe grief, too. “I wish things were different.”
I shook my head, closing my eyes for a moment to halt the tears. “They aren’t different, though. You can’t take this back.”
I stepped toward him, careful not to get too close.
His eyes widened, tears welling in them.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen now,” I steeled myself, “but I wanted you to know that no matter what, I’ll always love you. Even through your darkest days.”
“Can you promise me something?” he asked, his expression serious.
“What?”
“Stay safe, okay?” His face crumpled, like his entire world was crumbling.
I nodded. That was a promise I was comfortable making. “I will, Ash.”
“And…I love you too, Skye,” he choked out.
Maybe he didn’t know what love meant. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to think or feel when I looked at Ash now, but he was still my brother. He had been broken, and though it wasn’t an excuse, my heart still felt for him. We stared at each other in silence. I wanted to reach for his hand, but I couldn’t.
No matter how much he was still my baby brother, he couldn’t be trusted.
I stood there until Whize opened the door and told me it was time.
“Goodbye,” I whispered to Ash.
He started to sob as I turned.
I left him in that room, not knowing when, or whether, I would ever see him again.
35
Skye
Istaredatadifferenthospital room door, gathering up the courage to step inside. My body was exhausted, wrung out and shaky. But as I stared at this particular door, it felt like my future was behind it instead of my past.
